There she goes, straight for the bar. What does she drink? I don't even know. Yes it is her. For sure. I'm scared now. I forgot what I was here for. What am I here for? Calm down! She doesn't know me. It's all right. Don't even have to speak to her. I can just leave. I will. I'll go. In a minute I'll get up and go. In a minute I will. I'll just sit here for now though. I've still got most of a glass to get through. Mustn't drink too fast. Feel quite dizzy... all of a sudden.
Where is she now? Oh, still there. Funny, she's not tall, but I can still make her out in the crowd. She's turning round now! Who's that with her? Is she with her? No, maybe not. Not that it matters. No, they're not talking. Oh, there's someone now, a short dark girl. Is she talking to her – the cake woman? She's not very nice looking. Quite fat too. Young, though. Surely my woman doesn't want young women? Oh no! I thought that before! She was looking at a young woman when I first saw her. I knew it – I'm too old! Better leave. I'll leave now!
No, I won't! I came here for a reason and I'm going to do what I came here for. I'm going to get up and go over to her and speak to her. I don't care about her little young pudding friend, little fat lump. If she's her lover, I don't care. If I'm too old, I don't care. I'll go over. I'll speak to her. I'll say who I am. I'll have a chat, a neighbourly chat. Then I'll leave. And won't ever come back! I'll take my glass and my jacket so I can go straightaway. Leave the table to the lovebirds.
Right! Now, before she disappears. Oh, what a lot of people. I feel so dizzy. Think I stood up too fast. Stand still a minute! They've moved now. Where are they? Oh yes, over there. Across the dance floor. I can just make her out, her blonde head. Is that other one there? Can't see her, but she's smaller. Shorter. Probably still there, stuck like a limpet. I'll push through. It's the quickest way.
"Oh! Excuse me! Sorry! Can I–?" Somebody trod on my toe. Great big boots too. It hurt! I shoved her with my elbow. Shouldn't have, but couldn't help it. Made out it was an accident. Didn't stop them dancing though. She gave me such a look! Not nice at all.
Oh, here we are. What a cosy threesome!
"Hallo. I'm Faith."
"Hi. Have we met?"
Clear grey eyes. Yes, I can see in this light after all! Her hair is short and parted on the left. She has one gold earring and a frown. She is trying to remember who I am. No chance, we've never met! Better tell her.
"I sent you a Valentine card." (Never meant to say that.)
"Sent?"
"Put it in the door. Few weeks back."
"Oh, it was you?" The frown disappears.
"I'm your neighbour, sort of." (That's what I'd meant to say.)
"Oh you are." She'd been staring at me. Now she turned to the little woman who stood by her side. "Faith, this is Louise. And I'm Joan."
Joan. Such an ordinary name. Thought it might be something more remarkable. Maybe just a surname, like Heathcliffe or Garbo or Rambo or something. But no, an ordinary woman's name.
"Hallo Joan," I said.
Louise piped up then, "Catch you later! Got to go!" And she was off, onto the dance floor, lost almost immediately in the crowd.
"What are you drinking, Faith?"
"Vodka. Too much vodka," I said, feeling shaky on my legs. I reached out for her arm, just to steady myself.
She looked at me with alarm. "You all right?"
"I've been waiting for you for hours."
"What?"
But I was gone.
~ ~ ~
I woke up in a double bed. Alone. A clock on a table by the bed told the time in luminous green figures: four a.m. I went back to sleep.
Sunday, February 27
It was ten fifteen when I woke
Where is she now? Oh, still there. Funny, she's not tall, but I can still make her out in the crowd. She's turning round now! Who's that with her? Is she with her? No, maybe not. Not that it matters. No, they're not talking. Oh, there's someone now, a short dark girl. Is she talking to her – the cake woman? She's not very nice looking. Quite fat too. Young, though. Surely my woman doesn't want young women? Oh no! I thought that before! She was looking at a young woman when I first saw her. I knew it – I'm too old! Better leave. I'll leave now!
No, I won't! I came here for a reason and I'm going to do what I came here for. I'm going to get up and go over to her and speak to her. I don't care about her little young pudding friend, little fat lump. If she's her lover, I don't care. If I'm too old, I don't care. I'll go over. I'll speak to her. I'll say who I am. I'll have a chat, a neighbourly chat. Then I'll leave. And won't ever come back! I'll take my glass and my jacket so I can go straightaway. Leave the table to the lovebirds.
Right! Now, before she disappears. Oh, what a lot of people. I feel so dizzy. Think I stood up too fast. Stand still a minute! They've moved now. Where are they? Oh yes, over there. Across the dance floor. I can just make her out, her blonde head. Is that other one there? Can't see her, but she's smaller. Shorter. Probably still there, stuck like a limpet. I'll push through. It's the quickest way.
"Oh! Excuse me! Sorry! Can I–?" Somebody trod on my toe. Great big boots too. It hurt! I shoved her with my elbow. Shouldn't have, but couldn't help it. Made out it was an accident. Didn't stop them dancing though. She gave me such a look! Not nice at all.
Oh, here we are. What a cosy threesome!
"Hallo. I'm Faith."
"Hi. Have we met?"
Clear grey eyes. Yes, I can see in this light after all! Her hair is short and parted on the left. She has one gold earring and a frown. She is trying to remember who I am. No chance, we've never met! Better tell her.
"I sent you a Valentine card." (Never meant to say that.)
"Sent?"
"Put it in the door. Few weeks back."
"Oh, it was you?" The frown disappears.
"I'm your neighbour, sort of." (That's what I'd meant to say.)
"Oh you are." She'd been staring at me. Now she turned to the little woman who stood by her side. "Faith, this is Louise. And I'm Joan."
Joan. Such an ordinary name. Thought it might be something more remarkable. Maybe just a surname, like Heathcliffe or Garbo or Rambo or something. But no, an ordinary woman's name.
"Hallo Joan," I said.
Louise piped up then, "Catch you later! Got to go!" And she was off, onto the dance floor, lost almost immediately in the crowd.
"What are you drinking, Faith?"
"Vodka. Too much vodka," I said, feeling shaky on my legs. I reached out for her arm, just to steady myself.
She looked at me with alarm. "You all right?"
"I've been waiting for you for hours."
"What?"
But I was gone.
~ ~ ~
I woke up in a double bed. Alone. A clock on a table by the bed told the time in luminous green figures: four a.m. I went back to sleep.
Sunday, February 27
It was ten fifteen when I woke
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