Read Online Fair Game by Stephen Leather - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stephen Leather
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‘About fifty pounds an hour.’
‘And who gets the better pay?’
Stockmann smiled. ‘The psychiatrist, of course. They’re the real doctors. We psychologists, we’re the ones with the doctorates who can’t prescribe drugs.’
‘I’m sure that Charlie pays you well.’
She shrugged. ‘Frankly, Dan, I don’t do this for the money.’
‘So why do you do it? Public service?’
She smiled thinly. ‘Something like that,’ she said. ‘I do value what you and your colleagues do, and in my own small way I like to think that I’m helping.’ She swirled her beer around her glass. ‘So, have there been any repercussions? After what happened in Northern Ireland.’
‘Job-wise?’
‘You know what I mean, Dan.’
‘Am I sleeping? Yes, like a baby. Am I eating? Like a horse. Do I waste even one second regretting what I did? No.’
‘I’m not sure that’s true, Dan,’ she said quietly. ‘I mean, I’m sure you’re sleeping and that you haven’t lost your appetite, but I know you well enough to know that you don’t take a life without it affecting you in some way.’
Shepherd shrugged. ‘OK, if anything it pisses me off.’
‘It makes you angry?’
‘Being put into the situation is what I’m annoyed at. The guys I killed were stone-cold killers and they’d have killed me if I hadn’t killed them, but it could have been handled differently.’ He drank some of his shandy, not because he wanted to drink but to give himself time to gather his thoughts. Caroline Stockmann had a very easy way about her, but at the end of the day she was there to compile a report on his ability to do his job and she had a mind like a steel trap. ‘How much did Charlie tell you?’
‘Pretty much everything,’ she said.
‘Including the fact that the whole operation was a cock-up?’
‘That’s not the word she used,’ said Stockmann. ‘But I gather that was the drift.’
‘I went into a situation where there was another undercover operative that I wasn’t aware of. The men I were with were going to execute him.’
‘You saved his life.’
‘I saved one and I took two, which any way you look at it means I’m one down on the deal.’
‘It’s not the first time you’ve taken a life in the line of duty, though, is it?’
Shepherd looked at her steadily. ‘It’s not what I did, that’s not what I’m angry about. It’s the way that it happened. Yes, I’ve taken lives before, but it’s always been because there was no other choice. In Northern Ireland, I was in a situation that could have been avoided if people had been behaving professionally.’
‘And who do you blame for that?’
‘What, you want me to blame Charlie, is that it?’
‘Do you think she was at fault?’
Shepherd frowned as he considered the question. Eventually he shook his head. ‘I think she probably did everything she could, it was the Northern Irish cops that screwed up. They ran their operation without letting Five know. Five is responsible for all anti-terrorism operations in the Province so the cops must have deliberately not shared their intel. And by doing that they put their agent at risk.’
‘Do you think that’s what has made you so angry? You can empathise with the agent?’
‘Probably, yes. That could have been me. I could have been the one facing an execution squad and I might not have been so lucky.’
‘It wasn’t luck that saved him, Dan. It was you.’
‘Did Charlie tell you that one of the Special Branch cops left his phone in a pub and that’s how they found out there was an undercover agent?’ He scowled. ‘Bloody idiots,’ he said. ‘Lions led by donkeys, isn’t that what they said about the infantry during the First World War? That’s what it feels like, Caroline. Like I’m being run by idiots who couldn’t find their own arses using both hands.’
‘Are we talking about Charlie now?’
Shepherd shook his head. ‘Charlie’s sound,’ he said. ‘I trust her completely. But
‘And who gets the better pay?’
Stockmann smiled. ‘The psychiatrist, of course. They’re the real doctors. We psychologists, we’re the ones with the doctorates who can’t prescribe drugs.’
‘I’m sure that Charlie pays you well.’
She shrugged. ‘Frankly, Dan, I don’t do this for the money.’
‘So why do you do it? Public service?’
She smiled thinly. ‘Something like that,’ she said. ‘I do value what you and your colleagues do, and in my own small way I like to think that I’m helping.’ She swirled her beer around her glass. ‘So, have there been any repercussions? After what happened in Northern Ireland.’
‘Job-wise?’
‘You know what I mean, Dan.’
‘Am I sleeping? Yes, like a baby. Am I eating? Like a horse. Do I waste even one second regretting what I did? No.’
‘I’m not sure that’s true, Dan,’ she said quietly. ‘I mean, I’m sure you’re sleeping and that you haven’t lost your appetite, but I know you well enough to know that you don’t take a life without it affecting you in some way.’
Shepherd shrugged. ‘OK, if anything it pisses me off.’
‘It makes you angry?’
‘Being put into the situation is what I’m annoyed at. The guys I killed were stone-cold killers and they’d have killed me if I hadn’t killed them, but it could have been handled differently.’ He drank some of his shandy, not because he wanted to drink but to give himself time to gather his thoughts. Caroline Stockmann had a very easy way about her, but at the end of the day she was there to compile a report on his ability to do his job and she had a mind like a steel trap. ‘How much did Charlie tell you?’
‘Pretty much everything,’ she said.
‘Including the fact that the whole operation was a cock-up?’
‘That’s not the word she used,’ said Stockmann. ‘But I gather that was the drift.’
‘I went into a situation where there was another undercover operative that I wasn’t aware of. The men I were with were going to execute him.’
‘You saved his life.’
‘I saved one and I took two, which any way you look at it means I’m one down on the deal.’
‘It’s not the first time you’ve taken a life in the line of duty, though, is it?’
Shepherd looked at her steadily. ‘It’s not what I did, that’s not what I’m angry about. It’s the way that it happened. Yes, I’ve taken lives before, but it’s always been because there was no other choice. In Northern Ireland, I was in a situation that could have been avoided if people had been behaving professionally.’
‘And who do you blame for that?’
‘What, you want me to blame Charlie, is that it?’
‘Do you think she was at fault?’
Shepherd frowned as he considered the question. Eventually he shook his head. ‘I think she probably did everything she could, it was the Northern Irish cops that screwed up. They ran their operation without letting Five know. Five is responsible for all anti-terrorism operations in the Province so the cops must have deliberately not shared their intel. And by doing that they put their agent at risk.’
‘Do you think that’s what has made you so angry? You can empathise with the agent?’
‘Probably, yes. That could have been me. I could have been the one facing an execution squad and I might not have been so lucky.’
‘It wasn’t luck that saved him, Dan. It was you.’
‘Did Charlie tell you that one of the Special Branch cops left his phone in a pub and that’s how they found out there was an undercover agent?’ He scowled. ‘Bloody idiots,’ he said. ‘Lions led by donkeys, isn’t that what they said about the infantry during the First World War? That’s what it feels like, Caroline. Like I’m being run by idiots who couldn’t find their own arses using both hands.’
‘Are we talking about Charlie now?’
Shepherd shook his head. ‘Charlie’s sound,’ he said. ‘I trust her completely. But
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