you get inside okay.”
What? He was taking me home. I didn’t want to ask why, and feeling more than overwhelmed by the development, I probably wasn’t in the right frame of mind to have the conversation. On top of that, what was I going to do? Beg him to let me stay there?
We barely spoke on the drive back to LA. The longer we were in the car, the more I felt hurt, used, and cheap. I wondered where my name would be on the roster of other women he’d brought home, fucked so passionately, and then dismissed.
When we got to my place he said, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“No, you don’t have to. Really.” I gathered my purse and reached for the door handle.
“Olivia, hang on a second.” He grabbed my hand and brought it to his face. He kissed the back of it and said, “Thank you for an incredible evening.”
I produced the best fake smile I could and quickly got out of the car without saying anything. I made my way up the walkway, got to the door, put the key in the lock…all without turning around to look at him sitting there in his car. It took an amount of willpower I didn’t know I possessed to do that.
I stepped inside and immediately went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and the tears started flowing.
How could I have been so stupid? So gullible? Why had I let my guard down? Why had I let a man use and control me like that?Fuck! I knew better!
All the negative thoughts I used to have, after Chris, came thundering back into my mind. I blamed myself for everything that had happened that night, just as I’d blamed myself for letting myself become so vulnerable to Chris Cooper.
What Chris had done was a far cry from what Max had just done to me, but it was all about letting myself be vulnerable—something that’s always fraught with danger, which is what makes it such a powerful act, but something I just wasn’t ready to do again, and look what happened.
I got myself together emotionally and left the bathroom. Maybe Krystal was still up, and she’d let me vent my frustrations. There’d probably be a big “I told you so” to deal with, but at that moment I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to be alone.
When I got to her room, I found that she wasn’t there.
Great. I was alone.
I thought of calling Grace, but it was getting close to one o’clock in the morning here in LA, so it was really late in Ohio. There was no way I could call her. Maybe it was for the best that I couldn’t talk to my sister right now.
Physical and emotional exhaustion brought sleep. Quickly, thank God. I needed the rest.
What I didn’t need, though, was the dream: I’m standing with my back to the wall, and he has me trapped. He’s backlit, and all I can see is his silhouette, standing about two feet in front of me. I have no escape. My body shakes with fear. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I could try to run, but I know he’d catch me. I see the silhouette’s right shoulder dip and pull back. Then the more frightening thing I’d ever seen: he has made a fist and he’s cocking his arm back for the punch, level with my face.
I woke up, thankful that it was only a dream, that I haven’t been hit, and the only damage done was to my sheets as I lay there soaking in a cold sweat.
Damn Max. No, damn me for letting my guard down and letting another into my safety zone.
People say I have put up a wall after the incident with Chris. But what they don’t know is that it’s more than a wall. It’s a fortress. There’s a moat around it, and the water below is filled with alligators. There’s a drawbridge with tripwires that will flare up with great bursts of fire if a man tries to cross it.
So how the hell had Max Dalton gotten inside the fortress?
I stripped the bed of the soaked sheets, and took off my clothes. I laid back down, naked, on the naked bed, and thankfully sleep came once again…this time without a dream.
When I woke in the morning, there
What? He was taking me home. I didn’t want to ask why, and feeling more than overwhelmed by the development, I probably wasn’t in the right frame of mind to have the conversation. On top of that, what was I going to do? Beg him to let me stay there?
We barely spoke on the drive back to LA. The longer we were in the car, the more I felt hurt, used, and cheap. I wondered where my name would be on the roster of other women he’d brought home, fucked so passionately, and then dismissed.
When we got to my place he said, “I’ll walk you to the door.”
“No, you don’t have to. Really.” I gathered my purse and reached for the door handle.
“Olivia, hang on a second.” He grabbed my hand and brought it to his face. He kissed the back of it and said, “Thank you for an incredible evening.”
I produced the best fake smile I could and quickly got out of the car without saying anything. I made my way up the walkway, got to the door, put the key in the lock…all without turning around to look at him sitting there in his car. It took an amount of willpower I didn’t know I possessed to do that.
I stepped inside and immediately went to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and the tears started flowing.
How could I have been so stupid? So gullible? Why had I let my guard down? Why had I let a man use and control me like that?Fuck! I knew better!
All the negative thoughts I used to have, after Chris, came thundering back into my mind. I blamed myself for everything that had happened that night, just as I’d blamed myself for letting myself become so vulnerable to Chris Cooper.
What Chris had done was a far cry from what Max had just done to me, but it was all about letting myself be vulnerable—something that’s always fraught with danger, which is what makes it such a powerful act, but something I just wasn’t ready to do again, and look what happened.
I got myself together emotionally and left the bathroom. Maybe Krystal was still up, and she’d let me vent my frustrations. There’d probably be a big “I told you so” to deal with, but at that moment I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to be alone.
When I got to her room, I found that she wasn’t there.
Great. I was alone.
I thought of calling Grace, but it was getting close to one o’clock in the morning here in LA, so it was really late in Ohio. There was no way I could call her. Maybe it was for the best that I couldn’t talk to my sister right now.
Physical and emotional exhaustion brought sleep. Quickly, thank God. I needed the rest.
What I didn’t need, though, was the dream: I’m standing with my back to the wall, and he has me trapped. He’s backlit, and all I can see is his silhouette, standing about two feet in front of me. I have no escape. My body shakes with fear. Adrenaline is coursing through my veins. I could try to run, but I know he’d catch me. I see the silhouette’s right shoulder dip and pull back. Then the more frightening thing I’d ever seen: he has made a fist and he’s cocking his arm back for the punch, level with my face.
I woke up, thankful that it was only a dream, that I haven’t been hit, and the only damage done was to my sheets as I lay there soaking in a cold sweat.
Damn Max. No, damn me for letting my guard down and letting another into my safety zone.
People say I have put up a wall after the incident with Chris. But what they don’t know is that it’s more than a wall. It’s a fortress. There’s a moat around it, and the water below is filled with alligators. There’s a drawbridge with tripwires that will flare up with great bursts of fire if a man tries to cross it.
So how the hell had Max Dalton gotten inside the fortress?
I stripped the bed of the soaked sheets, and took off my clothes. I laid back down, naked, on the naked bed, and thankfully sleep came once again…this time without a dream.
When I woke in the morning, there
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