Laura?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to talk to him? See him again? What? I haven’t seen you smile this much over a guy since Rene.”
I direct her over to an empty bench along the side of the bike path and help her sit down.
“I don’t know.” I sit down next to her and adjust my ponytail to pull my hair farther up off my neck. “I’ve tried everything, Theresa. I’ve dated friends, friends of friends, coworkers, strangers…”
“Yeah, Rene was a bad idea.” She sighs and eyes me before wiping sweat from her eyebrows. “You were so desperate and needy with him.”
“Thanks for that.” My shoulders start to rise, my head drawing down like a turtle into its shell.
“You ran after him and ruined a good nine months of your life…”
“Okay, thanks. I remember.” Closing my eyes, I try to imagine myself someplace else.
“Desperate. Desperate. Desperate.” She punctuates with a knock on the bench between us each time. “And, of course, you remember how you told me to remind you of all of this the next time you dated?”
“Yeah, yeah. I remember.” Damn. Theresa has a brain like a steel trap. She remembers every stupid and insecure thing I said during that relationship.
I open my eyes, and she smiles at me before laughing. “Laura, I swear to god. I told you when this day came you would hate me for saying those things to you.”
“I don’t hate you, of course. I asked for the reminder.” I distinctly remember crying into her shoulder two and a half years ago and begging her to help me never make the same mistake again.
She nods and turns towards me on the bench. “It’s not what I really think, though. I hate all of that YOLO shit on the internet, but you only get one life. So what if he lives on the other side of the world…” Theresa sweeps her hand out over the Hudson River.
“Korea’s in the other direction, Magellan.”
She laughs again, and her happiness infects me too. This is why we’re good friends, and I’m determined to keep her close to me even with a baby on the way. I don’t want her to drift. Theresa and my other friend, Justin, are the only New York friends I have left.
“How did you ever find him attractive? He’s so not your type.”
“I know,” I exclaim, throwing my hands up. “Asian men? Totally not me.” I focus on a group of twenty-something Chinese boys walking by. “I wonder what he looks like without any clothes on. Maybe really smooth…”
“Little in the way of body hair…”
“Mmmm. Yes.” I take a deep breath and imagine, but it’s torture. Oh well. Not gonna stop me.
“I just want you to be happy, Laura. You haven’t been happy since you moved back here to New York and even less after Rene. You’re a physical person, always playing sports, going to the gym, and meeting up with people in person to do things. My only concern is you may need to be with Lee face-to-face for an actual relationship to happen. And then there’s your mother.”
My mother is a big problem. She’s self-involved, stuck up, and living with me.
“Should I give up?” I ask. “Theresa, tell me if I’m a lost cause. Honestly.”
“Of course not.” She rolls her eyes at me. “You’re so dramatic, Laura.”
“I’m three years away from thirty-five.”
“A lot can happen in three years. Do you want to try online dating again?” She sips from her bottle and pulls her feet under the bench before they’re run over by a rollerblader. “Jesus, I almost lost my toes.”
“Let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s only making me angry and depressed.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Laura. I just wanted to point out the options. I only want you…”
“To be happy. I know.” Theresa loves me. I should be less defensive. “I’ve been here five years. I’ve had nothing but the worst dates. My bastard father finally dies, and just when I think I’m in the clear, my mother freaks out and moves in with me.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you going to talk to him? See him again? What? I haven’t seen you smile this much over a guy since Rene.”
I direct her over to an empty bench along the side of the bike path and help her sit down.
“I don’t know.” I sit down next to her and adjust my ponytail to pull my hair farther up off my neck. “I’ve tried everything, Theresa. I’ve dated friends, friends of friends, coworkers, strangers…”
“Yeah, Rene was a bad idea.” She sighs and eyes me before wiping sweat from her eyebrows. “You were so desperate and needy with him.”
“Thanks for that.” My shoulders start to rise, my head drawing down like a turtle into its shell.
“You ran after him and ruined a good nine months of your life…”
“Okay, thanks. I remember.” Closing my eyes, I try to imagine myself someplace else.
“Desperate. Desperate. Desperate.” She punctuates with a knock on the bench between us each time. “And, of course, you remember how you told me to remind you of all of this the next time you dated?”
“Yeah, yeah. I remember.” Damn. Theresa has a brain like a steel trap. She remembers every stupid and insecure thing I said during that relationship.
I open my eyes, and she smiles at me before laughing. “Laura, I swear to god. I told you when this day came you would hate me for saying those things to you.”
“I don’t hate you, of course. I asked for the reminder.” I distinctly remember crying into her shoulder two and a half years ago and begging her to help me never make the same mistake again.
She nods and turns towards me on the bench. “It’s not what I really think, though. I hate all of that YOLO shit on the internet, but you only get one life. So what if he lives on the other side of the world…” Theresa sweeps her hand out over the Hudson River.
“Korea’s in the other direction, Magellan.”
She laughs again, and her happiness infects me too. This is why we’re good friends, and I’m determined to keep her close to me even with a baby on the way. I don’t want her to drift. Theresa and my other friend, Justin, are the only New York friends I have left.
“How did you ever find him attractive? He’s so not your type.”
“I know,” I exclaim, throwing my hands up. “Asian men? Totally not me.” I focus on a group of twenty-something Chinese boys walking by. “I wonder what he looks like without any clothes on. Maybe really smooth…”
“Little in the way of body hair…”
“Mmmm. Yes.” I take a deep breath and imagine, but it’s torture. Oh well. Not gonna stop me.
“I just want you to be happy, Laura. You haven’t been happy since you moved back here to New York and even less after Rene. You’re a physical person, always playing sports, going to the gym, and meeting up with people in person to do things. My only concern is you may need to be with Lee face-to-face for an actual relationship to happen. And then there’s your mother.”
My mother is a big problem. She’s self-involved, stuck up, and living with me.
“Should I give up?” I ask. “Theresa, tell me if I’m a lost cause. Honestly.”
“Of course not.” She rolls her eyes at me. “You’re so dramatic, Laura.”
“I’m three years away from thirty-five.”
“A lot can happen in three years. Do you want to try online dating again?” She sips from her bottle and pulls her feet under the bench before they’re run over by a rollerblader. “Jesus, I almost lost my toes.”
“Let’s not talk about this anymore. It’s only making me angry and depressed.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you, Laura. I just wanted to point out the options. I only want you…”
“To be happy. I know.” Theresa loves me. I should be less defensive. “I’ve been here five years. I’ve had nothing but the worst dates. My bastard father finally dies, and just when I think I’m in the clear, my mother freaks out and moves in with me.
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