Read Online Experiment in Terror 05.5 Old Blood by Karina Halle - Free Book Online Page A

was young, stupid and out of my mind. I didn’t know how to handle my feelings or my fame or anything of that nature. I spent the last few years regretting what I did to you, wondering if I’d ever get the chance to redeem myself in your eyes.”
    “ It has been almost fifteen years,” I told him, trying to take my hand back. “A lot has changed since then. You can’t blame yourself for your past.”
    “ But I can and I do,” he said. His eyes explored my own and I was shocked how little they had changed. It made me wonder that if the eyes were windows to the soul and his reflected the soul of the selfish boy I once knew, was that person still inside of him?
    “ I’m married now.” I flashed him my ring.
    “ Are you happily married?”
    I sucked in my breath through my teeth. He was so bold with his questioning, asking me things I didn’t want to think about.
    “ I think so,” I answered and looked down at my thighs.
    “ Are you happy in life?”
    I bit my lip and slowly shook my head, no. I wasn’t happy in my life.
    “ I’m not either,” he said. “I never have been since I hurt you. Since I lost you. I want to feel that happiness again and I need you.”
    He continued on like this for a while, saying his promises and declarations of love and other lovely things. If I were a stronger woman, a good and righteous woman, I would have told him to forget it. I would have left him in that park and I would have gone right home to my loving husband and I would have continued living the life I carved out for myself.
    Alas, I did not do that and I am sure you knew that was coming.
    I didn’t go home to Karl. I went with Ludie to the hotel room where he was staying (as he had been performing in England until a few days ago) and we made passionate love until I absolutely had to go home.
    It wasn’t a so-called “one night fling” either. This lasted for the next year. I was out of the house every other day, pretending I was going to fabric stores or meeting new friends or just exploring and all the while I would meet Ludie at the hotel, and eventually, as he found theatre work again in the city, his house. I was a woman living two lives and though I was happier in Ludie’s arms, I still felt miserable in both. I was the opposite of an honest woman. I had no idea if my parents were alive anymore but if they weren’t, they’d be rolling in their graves.
    It was amazing what fifteen years of growth and life would do to a person, however. Though he was still self-centered and short-tempered, I detected a sense of peace in him that I hadn’t seen before.
    “ You’re amazing, you know that,” he told me one night as we lay sprawled across the sheets of his bed.
    I blushed as he still had the ability to bring color and heat to my face and smacked him lightly with my hand. “Oh, stop that.”
    “ I’m serious,” he went on, reaching for my hair and brushing it out of my face. “You are. I’ve never met anyone like you in my entire life.”
    I wasn’t sure what he was talking about since I was as ordinary as everyone else.
    “ You have this…way about you. I can feel you from across the way, like you give off this energy. It’s…a sadness.”
    I looked at him sharply. Sadness?
    “ It’s a like you have so much life and potential somewhere deep inside, some greater purpose that is dying to come out. But you don’t know what it is or how to reach it. So it festers in this blue pool. I think of blue when I think of you Pippa. Blue, cooling, calming, like the sea, like your eyes. It soothes me to be with you.”
    “ What do you think I’m meant to do?” I asked quietly. It felt foolish to even humor his ramblings. What could I, at 35-years old, offer the world anymore? What was my purpose if it wasn’t to be a great actress, if it wasn’t to have children?
    “ I think you’re meant to save people,” he said. His eyes flashed with something like pity. “Let’s start with me.”
    That night I