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Authors: Raymond Queneau
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him?
odern style
In a bus one day it so happened that I was a witness of the following as you might say tragi-comedy which revealing as it does the way our French cousins go on these days I thought I ought to put you in the picture. When the bus is full all the passengers foregather on the back platform, and one of them was a fancy-pants of the first water with a fantastic long neck and a hat with a plaited cord or what have you round it and a pansy sort of overcoat—the lot. All very pricey, no doubt, but definitely not my cup of tea. Well this chap, what he did, he started to go for the chap standing next to him, claimed he kepttreading on his toes if you please. Whether he was or wasn’t I wouldn’t know, to tell the truth I never saw, but if he was, well, fair enough, I mean to say, these sort of smart alecs there ought to be a law against them. Not that I’m so particularly choosy myself — I really couldn’t care less. I reckoned he’d have his work cut out to cut any ice, and to be fair I must say I was right. What do you know, he just ran away. How yellow can you get?
Well, the thing is, two hours later I saw him again, he was with another chap who was giving him some technical know-how. He was telling him he ought to contact a tailor to move a button on that pansy overcoat of his, it was a must.
robabilist
The contacts between inhabitants of a large town are so numerous that one
can hardly be surprised if there occasionally occurs between them a certain amount of
friction which generally speaking is of no consequence. It so happened that I was
recently present at one of these unmannerly encounters which generally take place in the
vehicles intended for the transport of passengers in the Parisian region in the rush
hours. There is not in any case anything astonishing in the fact that I was a witness of
this encounter because I frequently travel in this fashion. On the day in question the
incident was of the lowest order, but myattention was especially
attracted by the physical aspect and the headgear of one of the protagonists of this
miniature drama. This was a man who was still young, but whose neck was of a length
which was probably above the average and whose hat-ribbon had been replaced by a plaited
cord. Curiously enough I saw him again two hours later engaged in listening to some
advice of a sartorial order which was being given to him by a friend in the company of
whom he was walking up and down, rather nonchalantly I should have said.
There was not much likelihood now that a third encounter would take
place, and the fact is that from that day to this I have never seen the young man again,
in conformity with the established laws of probability.
ortrait
The styal is a very long-necked biped that frequents the buses of the
S-line at about midday. It is particularly fond of the back platform where it can be
found, wet behind the ears, its head covered by a crest which is surrounded by an
excrescence of the thickness of a finger and bearing some resemblance to a piece of
string. Of peevish disposition, it readily attacks its weaker brethren, but if it
encounters a somewhat lively retort it takes flight into the interior of the vehicle
where it hopes it will be forgotten.
It may also be seen, but much more rarely, inthe
environs of the gare Saint-Lazare in the shedding season. It keeps its old skin to
protect it against the cold in winter, but it is often torn to allow for the passage of
the body; this kind of overcoat should fasten fairly high up by artificial means. The
styal, incapable of discovering these for itself, goes off at that time to find another
biped of a closely related species which gives it exercises to do,
Styalography is a branch of theoretic and deductive zoology which can be
cultivated at any time of year.
athematical
In a rectangular parallepiped moving along a line representing an integral solution of the
him?
odern style
In a bus one day it so happened that I was a witness of the following as you might say tragi-comedy which revealing as it does the way our French cousins go on these days I thought I ought to put you in the picture. When the bus is full all the passengers foregather on the back platform, and one of them was a fancy-pants of the first water with a fantastic long neck and a hat with a plaited cord or what have you round it and a pansy sort of overcoat—the lot. All very pricey, no doubt, but definitely not my cup of tea. Well this chap, what he did, he started to go for the chap standing next to him, claimed he kepttreading on his toes if you please. Whether he was or wasn’t I wouldn’t know, to tell the truth I never saw, but if he was, well, fair enough, I mean to say, these sort of smart alecs there ought to be a law against them. Not that I’m so particularly choosy myself — I really couldn’t care less. I reckoned he’d have his work cut out to cut any ice, and to be fair I must say I was right. What do you know, he just ran away. How yellow can you get?
Well, the thing is, two hours later I saw him again, he was with another chap who was giving him some technical know-how. He was telling him he ought to contact a tailor to move a button on that pansy overcoat of his, it was a must.
robabilist
The contacts between inhabitants of a large town are so numerous that one
can hardly be surprised if there occasionally occurs between them a certain amount of
friction which generally speaking is of no consequence. It so happened that I was
recently present at one of these unmannerly encounters which generally take place in the
vehicles intended for the transport of passengers in the Parisian region in the rush
hours. There is not in any case anything astonishing in the fact that I was a witness of
this encounter because I frequently travel in this fashion. On the day in question the
incident was of the lowest order, but myattention was especially
attracted by the physical aspect and the headgear of one of the protagonists of this
miniature drama. This was a man who was still young, but whose neck was of a length
which was probably above the average and whose hat-ribbon had been replaced by a plaited
cord. Curiously enough I saw him again two hours later engaged in listening to some
advice of a sartorial order which was being given to him by a friend in the company of
whom he was walking up and down, rather nonchalantly I should have said.
There was not much likelihood now that a third encounter would take
place, and the fact is that from that day to this I have never seen the young man again,
in conformity with the established laws of probability.
ortrait
The styal is a very long-necked biped that frequents the buses of the
S-line at about midday. It is particularly fond of the back platform where it can be
found, wet behind the ears, its head covered by a crest which is surrounded by an
excrescence of the thickness of a finger and bearing some resemblance to a piece of
string. Of peevish disposition, it readily attacks its weaker brethren, but if it
encounters a somewhat lively retort it takes flight into the interior of the vehicle
where it hopes it will be forgotten.
It may also be seen, but much more rarely, inthe
environs of the gare Saint-Lazare in the shedding season. It keeps its old skin to
protect it against the cold in winter, but it is often torn to allow for the passage of
the body; this kind of overcoat should fasten fairly high up by artificial means. The
styal, incapable of discovering these for itself, goes off at that time to find another
biped of a closely related species which gives it exercises to do,
Styalography is a branch of theoretic and deductive zoology which can be
cultivated at any time of year.
athematical
In a rectangular parallepiped moving along a line representing an integral solution of the
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