that would be the last place we would look.â
âUmm, yes, exactly,â said Sir Lancelot, who hadnât the faintest idea what she was talking about.
âThough of course,â the Princess continued, âthey could be going somewhere else completely different where we would never think of looking.â
âExactly.â
Sir Lancelot was not stupid, by no means, but hisjob as a noble knight and executor of fearless deeds did not require a lot of thinking about stuff. In fact, part of his rigorous training had been a month at Avalonâs famous Noble Knight And Executor Of Fearless Deeds Boot Camp where all sorts of stuff he wouldnât need had been removed from his brain. These included:
⢠All long words.
⢠All his times tables over the number three.
⢠All the stuff his mother had taught him about personal hygiene.
⢠Belgian.
⢠Knitting.
⢠Lots of other stuff.
⢠The recipe for rabbit stew.
⢠More stuff.
Some new things had been implanted in his brain and they included:
⢠How to make a campfire out of some grass and two damp peasants.
⢠Killing baddies in dozens of exciting and creative ways.
⢠How to boil water without burning it.
⢠The recipe for boiled water.
⢠Belgian.
⢠Not very much other stuff.
⢠How to kiss girls, horses and swords, though not necessarily in that order.
So it was not surprising that as Morgan le Fey speculated on the highwaychildrenâs whereabouts, his eyes glazed over. They had been glazed over before she had started talking due to his being in love with her. So now he was double-glazed.
Morgan le Fey was only single-glazed. She had the being-in-love glazing, but knew exactly what she was talking about even if it wasnât getting her any nearer to finding Brat and Bloat.
âMaybe, my lady,â Sir Lancelot suggested, âwe need some aerial recon ⦠reconnais ⦠umm, er.â Curse those long words , he thought. âSomething flying about in the sky,â he said.
âWhat, like a bird?â said Morgan le Fey.
âWell, sort of, except a bird that could follow them and then come back here and tell us where they had gone.â
âAh, a clever talking bird,â said the Princess. âKnow you of such a bird?â
âNot exactly,â said Sir Lancelot. âI know of birds and I know of clever things and I know of things that talk, but I do not know of one thing that can do all three.â
âI do,â said Morgan le Fey, âexcept it is not a bird.â
âWhat else does fly, but birds?â
âA vampire.â
âBut are not vampires mere fictions?â said Sir Lancelot. âI know people lived in fear of them in the Dark Ages, but now we are in the Days of Yore and surely people no longer believe in such fairy stories.â
âExcept vampires are not fairy stories,â said Morgan le Fey. âThey are rare and secretive and very few have seen them, yet they exist. Not only that, they live right here in Camelot, in the castle itself. Come, I will show you.â
She led Sir Lancelot to the window and pointed across the wide courtyard to a line of towers on the far side. The very highest tower was hidden from view. It was a bright, sunny day, yet a single large cloud encircled the tower like a soft, pale grey cardigan.
âUp there,â she said. âThe tower in the clouds. That is where the vampires live.â
âYou have seen them?â asked the knight.
âIndeed I have,â said Morgan le Fey. âMore than seen them, for they have been my friends since I was a baby. On the day I was born, as I lay alone in my crib bathed in the moonlight, they came to me and spoke to me and although I was but a few hours old, I understood their words. They became not only my friends, but my teachers. They taught me all the ancient wisdom of the world, more wisdom than even Merlin
âUmm, yes, exactly,â said Sir Lancelot, who hadnât the faintest idea what she was talking about.
âThough of course,â the Princess continued, âthey could be going somewhere else completely different where we would never think of looking.â
âExactly.â
Sir Lancelot was not stupid, by no means, but hisjob as a noble knight and executor of fearless deeds did not require a lot of thinking about stuff. In fact, part of his rigorous training had been a month at Avalonâs famous Noble Knight And Executor Of Fearless Deeds Boot Camp where all sorts of stuff he wouldnât need had been removed from his brain. These included:
⢠All long words.
⢠All his times tables over the number three.
⢠All the stuff his mother had taught him about personal hygiene.
⢠Belgian.
⢠Knitting.
⢠Lots of other stuff.
⢠The recipe for rabbit stew.
⢠More stuff.
Some new things had been implanted in his brain and they included:
⢠How to make a campfire out of some grass and two damp peasants.
⢠Killing baddies in dozens of exciting and creative ways.
⢠How to boil water without burning it.
⢠The recipe for boiled water.
⢠Belgian.
⢠Not very much other stuff.
⢠How to kiss girls, horses and swords, though not necessarily in that order.
So it was not surprising that as Morgan le Fey speculated on the highwaychildrenâs whereabouts, his eyes glazed over. They had been glazed over before she had started talking due to his being in love with her. So now he was double-glazed.
Morgan le Fey was only single-glazed. She had the being-in-love glazing, but knew exactly what she was talking about even if it wasnât getting her any nearer to finding Brat and Bloat.
âMaybe, my lady,â Sir Lancelot suggested, âwe need some aerial recon ⦠reconnais ⦠umm, er.â Curse those long words , he thought. âSomething flying about in the sky,â he said.
âWhat, like a bird?â said Morgan le Fey.
âWell, sort of, except a bird that could follow them and then come back here and tell us where they had gone.â
âAh, a clever talking bird,â said the Princess. âKnow you of such a bird?â
âNot exactly,â said Sir Lancelot. âI know of birds and I know of clever things and I know of things that talk, but I do not know of one thing that can do all three.â
âI do,â said Morgan le Fey, âexcept it is not a bird.â
âWhat else does fly, but birds?â
âA vampire.â
âBut are not vampires mere fictions?â said Sir Lancelot. âI know people lived in fear of them in the Dark Ages, but now we are in the Days of Yore and surely people no longer believe in such fairy stories.â
âExcept vampires are not fairy stories,â said Morgan le Fey. âThey are rare and secretive and very few have seen them, yet they exist. Not only that, they live right here in Camelot, in the castle itself. Come, I will show you.â
She led Sir Lancelot to the window and pointed across the wide courtyard to a line of towers on the far side. The very highest tower was hidden from view. It was a bright, sunny day, yet a single large cloud encircled the tower like a soft, pale grey cardigan.
âUp there,â she said. âThe tower in the clouds. That is where the vampires live.â
âYou have seen them?â asked the knight.
âIndeed I have,â said Morgan le Fey. âMore than seen them, for they have been my friends since I was a baby. On the day I was born, as I lay alone in my crib bathed in the moonlight, they came to me and spoke to me and although I was but a few hours old, I understood their words. They became not only my friends, but my teachers. They taught me all the ancient wisdom of the world, more wisdom than even Merlin
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