Read Online Everything and Nothing by Araminta Hall - Free Book Online Page A

life took you on the oddest ride, up some ladders, down too many snakes. He could have had a whole life with Sarah, they’d have a two-year-old by now, probably living in some tiny flat somewhere because he had to give most of his money to Ruth, who would legitimately hate him. She could have even met someone else and he would feel lonely and jaded because of course most of their friends and relatives would have sided with her. He’d have two children he hardly knew, one who he’d never lived with, and he would have to take them on terrible days out to the zoo where they would all feel like crying. And then when Betty got older she would say to her future boyfriends that she didn’t trust men much because her father had got some girl pregnant when she was three and left her mother to bring her and Hal up alone.
    And nothing would have been different with Sarah. He could see that as clear as the sun shining through the window from the street. They would have spent the past two years arguing about whose turn it was to take out the rubbish, or why he watched so much football, or who was more tired. It was sad to realise that no one was unique and who you ended up with was more down to circumstances than design. He longed to be at home, sitting on one of the uncomfortable sofas he always teased Ruth for buying only because they’d looked good, with Betty and Hal fighting and him and Ruth looking at each other and feeling for one tiny second like they were in complete agreement.
    ‘So what did you have?’
    Christian hadn’t been paying enough attention to what Sarah had been saying. His pasta was offputting; there was too much of it in too small a plate, making it seem sticky when really it was perfectly well cooked. ‘Sorry, what did I have what?’
    ‘Boy or girl?
    The question was appalling to him and Christian couldn’t imagine why she would want to know. ‘Oh, right. Sorry. Boy.’
    ‘To go with your girl. How perfect.’ The sarcasm was there this time. Should he apologise? Should he bring up everything that had gone on? Was that what she was expecting? He felt weary, it all seemed so pointless, nothing was going to be changed by ranting and raving, but maybe she needed to get something off her chest. Sarah, however, seemed to have had second thoughts and now she smiled. ‘Sorry, I am pleased for you.’
    Christian toyed with the idea of telling her that Betty still never slept through the night or that Hal had never eaten one morsel of food even though he was nearly three and existed on an average of about twenty bottles a day. But it seemed too much of a betrayal to his family, as if sitting with Sarah wasn’t enough.
    ‘Anyway,’ he said, looking at his watch. ‘It’s been great, but I’ve got a meeting at three and, you know . . . ’
    ‘Oh yes, okay.’
    It was awkward leaving. Neither of them knew how to end it. Christian saw a pigeon with a broken leg in the gutter as they were saying goodbye and it looked so miserable he wanted to find a brick and bash it over the head. Its grey feathers were matted and it had a bald patch on its back and he worried that it had been abandoned by the other pigeons. As he watched Sarah walk away self-consciously he hoped she was leaving his life.
    On his way back to his offi ce Christian checked his phone and saw he had three missed calls from Ruth. There would be a certain irony to something bad happening to a member of his family while he was having a disastrous lunch with his old affair. He called her back immediately and she answered in two rings.
    ‘Ruth, what’s wrong?’
    Her voice cracked as soon as she heard him. ‘Oh God, it was awful. I’ve been trying to get hold of you for ages.’
    ‘What was?’ Panic rose like bile in his chest as he depicted terrible fates befalling his children, each racing heartbeat showing him a different image of terror.
    ‘The nutritionist.’
    He relaxed. ‘Oh, of course, what did he say?’
    ‘I can’t talk now. You