Read Online Every Young Man's Battle: Stategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation: The Every Man Series by Stephen Arterburn - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Stephen Arterburn
Ads: Link
our own way, we’re primed and fueled for sexual captivity. The means
of ignition, meanwhile, comes from the third male tendency, which is the most
deadly.
Male Tendency #3: We Receive Sexual Gratification
Through Our Eyes
Our eyes give us men the means to sin
broadly and at will. We don’t need a date. We don’t ever need to
wait. We have our eyes, which we can use to imbibe sexual gratification at any
time. We’re turned on by female nudity in any way, shape, or form.
We aren’t picky. It can come in a photograph of a nude stranger just
as easily as in a romantic interlude with a naked girlfriend. We have a visual
ignition switch when it comes to viewing the female anatomy.
Women
seldom understand this because they aren’t sexually stimulated in the
same way. Their ignitions are tied to touch and relationship. They view this
visual aspect of our sexuality as shallow and dirty, even detestable.
“When I first heard about how men are, it seemed so wild and unlike
anything I could imagine,” said my wife, Brenda. “I had a hard time
believing it and occasionally even wondered if men were making it up. I
don’t want to sound mean, but because women don’t generally
experience this problem, it seems to us that most guys don’t think about
anything but sex.”
Because women can’t relate, they have
little mercy on us and rarely choose to dress modestly. Walking the halls of
any public high school in America can leave a guy gasping for breath! But
visual sexual gratification is no laughing matter in your fight for sexual
purity. Given what the sight of nudity does to the pleasure centers of our
brain, and given the fact that it’s pretty easy to see many naked or
near-naked women these days, it’s no wonder our eyes and mind resist
control.
We’ re Talking
Visual Foreplay
Let’s restate this third natural
male tendency in different words so you don’t miss the point:
For
males, impurity of the eyes is sexual foreplay.
That’s
right. Just like stroking an inner thigh or rubbing a breast. Remember:
Foreplay is any sexual action that naturally takes us down the road to
intercourse. Foreplay ignites passions, rocketing us forward by stages until we
go all the way.
God views foreplay outside marriage as wrong. We get a
glimpse of this in Ezekiel 23:3, where God, portraying the waywardness of His
chosen people, uses the picture of virgins in passionate sin: “In that
land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed.” If
you’ve ever argued that God doesn’t address “petting”
in the Bible, let this verse serve as a corrective to your thinking. Just as
instructive is the overall thrust of New Testament teaching on sexual purity
(which we listed at the end of chapter 3) and the application of those
standards, mentally as well as physically. From God’s viewpoint, sex is
far more than being inside a woman.
What acts constitute foreplay?
Clearly, caressing the breasts is foreplay. Why? Intercourse is sure to follow.
If not with her tonight, then at least with masturbation later back home. If
not with her tonight, then maybe tomorrow night when her will has
weakened.
Masturbation while fantasizing about specific girls or over
certain pictures is the same as doing it. Remember the standard Jesus set?
You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)
For married men,
lustfully thinking of another woman is the same as having physical adultery. If
that’s true, then for single men, lustfully thinking of women must surely
be the same as doing it as well. How much more so if you’re masturbating
while you do it!
What else is foreplay? Mutual stroking of the genitals
is foreplay. Even stroking the top of the thigh can be foreplay. (Young men may
not see it that way, but fathers do! If I saw a boy
of ignition, meanwhile, comes from the third male tendency, which is the most
deadly.
Male Tendency #3: We Receive Sexual Gratification
Through Our Eyes
Our eyes give us men the means to sin
broadly and at will. We don’t need a date. We don’t ever need to
wait. We have our eyes, which we can use to imbibe sexual gratification at any
time. We’re turned on by female nudity in any way, shape, or form.
We aren’t picky. It can come in a photograph of a nude stranger just
as easily as in a romantic interlude with a naked girlfriend. We have a visual
ignition switch when it comes to viewing the female anatomy.
Women
seldom understand this because they aren’t sexually stimulated in the
same way. Their ignitions are tied to touch and relationship. They view this
visual aspect of our sexuality as shallow and dirty, even detestable.
“When I first heard about how men are, it seemed so wild and unlike
anything I could imagine,” said my wife, Brenda. “I had a hard time
believing it and occasionally even wondered if men were making it up. I
don’t want to sound mean, but because women don’t generally
experience this problem, it seems to us that most guys don’t think about
anything but sex.”
Because women can’t relate, they have
little mercy on us and rarely choose to dress modestly. Walking the halls of
any public high school in America can leave a guy gasping for breath! But
visual sexual gratification is no laughing matter in your fight for sexual
purity. Given what the sight of nudity does to the pleasure centers of our
brain, and given the fact that it’s pretty easy to see many naked or
near-naked women these days, it’s no wonder our eyes and mind resist
control.
We’ re Talking
Visual Foreplay
Let’s restate this third natural
male tendency in different words so you don’t miss the point:
For
males, impurity of the eyes is sexual foreplay.
That’s
right. Just like stroking an inner thigh or rubbing a breast. Remember:
Foreplay is any sexual action that naturally takes us down the road to
intercourse. Foreplay ignites passions, rocketing us forward by stages until we
go all the way.
God views foreplay outside marriage as wrong. We get a
glimpse of this in Ezekiel 23:3, where God, portraying the waywardness of His
chosen people, uses the picture of virgins in passionate sin: “In that
land their breasts were fondled and their virgin bosoms caressed.” If
you’ve ever argued that God doesn’t address “petting”
in the Bible, let this verse serve as a corrective to your thinking. Just as
instructive is the overall thrust of New Testament teaching on sexual purity
(which we listed at the end of chapter 3) and the application of those
standards, mentally as well as physically. From God’s viewpoint, sex is
far more than being inside a woman.
What acts constitute foreplay?
Clearly, caressing the breasts is foreplay. Why? Intercourse is sure to follow.
If not with her tonight, then at least with masturbation later back home. If
not with her tonight, then maybe tomorrow night when her will has
weakened.
Masturbation while fantasizing about specific girls or over
certain pictures is the same as doing it. Remember the standard Jesus set?
You have heard that it was said, “Do not commit adultery.” But
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed
adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)
For married men,
lustfully thinking of another woman is the same as having physical adultery. If
that’s true, then for single men, lustfully thinking of women must surely
be the same as doing it as well. How much more so if you’re masturbating
while you do it!
What else is foreplay? Mutual stroking of the genitals
is foreplay. Even stroking the top of the thigh can be foreplay. (Young men may
not see it that way, but fathers do! If I saw a boy
Similar Books
