Read Online Eulalia! by Brian Jacques - Free Book Online

wot! You need two swift lessons, one in manners, the other in the noble art of hare boxin’. Right, defend y’self, sir!” She shot out a quick, thudding hook to the lizard’s jaw, sending him flat on his back. Not for nothing was Maudie (the Hon.) Mugberry Thropple, Regimental Boxing Champion of the Long Patrol. She threw herself upon the startled bullies, yelling the war cry of perilous hares. “Eulaliiiaaaa!”
    With all four paws going like pistons, the haremaid sent her foes scattering. Thunderous punches, and punishing kicks, rained savagely on the reptiles. She was everywhere at once, jabbing, swinging, feinting, uppercutting and lashing out fiercely with her footpaws. “Blood’n’vinegar! Forward the buffs! Eulaliiiaaa!”
    With lightning precision, Maudie managed to overcome the lizards, even stopping the few who tried to sneak off. The beaten reptiles cowered on the ground, squeaking and whimpering abjectly. The avenging haremaid stood over them, scowling sternly.
    â€œUp on y’paws now, you slimy crew. Set that barrow upright an’ place everythin’ back in it neatly. Stir y’stumps!”
    The sand lizards tottered about, nursing bruised heads and fractured tails as they did Maudie’s bidding.
    Bungwen the Hermit was awestruck. “Boi okey, Miz Mouldy, oi never see’d ought loike that afore. You’m surrpintly a gurt, moighty wurrier, burr aye!”
    Maudie winked broadly at the old mole. “Think nothin’ of it, old top, glad to be of service, wot! Here, you lizard types, form up in a line now. Quick’s the word an’ sharp’s the action, jump to it, laddies! Now, let’s hear you apologisin’ to Mister Bungwen.”
    The reptiles were forced to bow politely as they hissed, “Ssssorry, sssssir!”
    Bungwen nodded, grinning from ear to ear, as Maudie stamped up and down behind her vanquished foes, treading heavily on their tails as she cautioned them.
    â€œSorry? I should jolly well think so, you pan-faced, twiddle-pawed, string-tailed, misbegotten lot! Now begone from here this instant, and just let either of us catch you in these parts again. By the left, we’ll make you weep for a full season. Now get out of our sight!”
    Bungwen thoroughly enjoyed sending the bullies on their way with good solid kicks to their nether parts. Paw in paw, the mole and the haremaid swaggered back into the cave, with Maudie chuckling, “Well, that certainly worked up my appetite, wot!”
    Bungwen watched in amazement as Maudie downed several bowls of the hot stew. “Beggen’ you’m pardun, miz, but oi’d be afeared to meet ee if’n you’m bee’d proper ’ungry!”
    The haremaid nodded, holding forth her beaker for more cordial. Eating was a serious business with Mad Maudie, leaving her no time for idle chitchat. After taking a brief nap, she gave her host some rudimentary boxing tips, and made him a gift of her sling and pouch of slingstones, which she seldom found use for.
    â€œWell, time for me t’be movin’ on, old thing, I should make the woodlands by early evenin’. Goodbye, an’ remember, don’t take any old lip from those bullies, give ’em the old one-two if they ever show their warty snouts around here again, wot!”
    Bungwen Hermit shook Maudie’s paw warmly. “Oi’ll do jus’ that, miz, an’ thankee furr yore cump’ny. You’m take gudd care of eeself naow. Hurr, oi’d watch owt furr surrpints on ee scrublands, thurr bee’s one or two slitherin’ abowt this season. If’n ee sees a gurt owlyburd, doan’t be afeared of ’im, ee’s a gudd friend o’ moine, name o’ Asio Bardwing. May’aps ee’s see’d this badgerer you’m lukkin’ furr. Goo’bye Miz Mouldy, gudd fortune go with ee!”
    Bungwen stood atop his hill, waving and weeping, as the haremaid set