gently. “Sveta…”
“ I cannot make a difference here. This is not me. No one liked me before Tolya died, what good am I now?”
“ Be quiet. Do not say such things. Why do you say that?”
Svetlana lifted her head. Her eyes were red and puffy. “This unit does not need another medic, it needs a therapist !”
“ Sveta, you are here because I asked you to come. You are here because I knew if anyone could bring this unit together, it would be you.”
“ But this is more than I can do! This is not a little problem. This is worse than a nightmare. How was I so stupid to come back?”
“ You just had a very emotional conversation,” said Varvara. “This is your first day back, and so far it has not been good. But you are here for a good purpose. You are here to get our lieutenant back. You are here for us all.”
“ But Varya, I am not a comforter.”
“ Did you not comfort him once already? Or did you make up what happened that night?”
Svetlana said nothing.
“ You see? You can do this. You have done it already, just in a different way.” Her hand slid from Svetlana’s knee. “You had a warm welcome in the room, before David ruined it by being a jerk. Do not let one bitter man crush your spirits.”
“ David is a father,” Svetlana said, looking away. For the first time, her tone was controlled. “He sees this in a way the rest of us do not. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s not. I don’t know anymore.”
“ Do you believe he is right?”
Svetlana stared at the younger medic. “I believe Scott is a good man. I have told myself that so many times. I have to believe it—I must.”
Varvara affirmed. “The rest of us believe that as well. You shared something with Scott that none of us did. You can touch him—reach him. That is why you are here.” She tried to smile. “It is not up to you to comfort the rest of us. You worry about him . Believe me, if you can do that, it will bring us comfort enough.”
“ He told me I should have stayed away.” Svetlana pressed her hands to her forehead, where her fingers disappeared in her hair. “I did not expect him to say that.”
“ This will not be easy. I never said it would be. But ask yourself if you want to help him. Do you have that desire?”
Svetlana didn’t answer right away. She only stared back, deep in thought.
“ Do you?”
Finally, she sighed. “Yes, I do.”
“ Good. Because if you would have said no, I would have felt very guilty for sending you that letter.”
“ You should feel guilty.” Svetlana offered her a forced grin. “You know I am joking.”
A moment of quiet passed before Varvara went on. “You should go see the captain. He will be wondering where you are. You have had too much emotion since you’ve been here. You need someone to talk about business.”
“ I will go see him now,” Svetlana said, wiping her eyes and nodding.
“ Do you want me to go with you?”
“ No. I’m okay.”
“ He will be happy to see you. He might hug you.”
“ Might he really?”
“ He has been desperate for any good news. You’re the best news he’s had in three months. But most likely, he will just give you a briefing. There is much for him to tell you about.”
Svetlana rose to continue her trek. “That’s fine with me. At least this will give me something else to think about.”
“ I will leave you to that, then,” Varvara said. “Jayden and I are going into Novosibirsk today, but will I see you again later?”
“ Of course.”
“ I look forward to it.” Varvara watched Svetlana for several moments, then the younger medic offered another hug. She whispered, “This was not a mistake. Just keep saying it to yourself, and you will believe it.”
Svetlana nodded in silence.
“ Now go see the captain.”
“ I will.”
With no further words, the medics parted ways.
When Svetlana arrived at Clarke’s quarters, she found Varvara’s prediction partially correct. She received a friendly welcome
“ I cannot make a difference here. This is not me. No one liked me before Tolya died, what good am I now?”
“ Be quiet. Do not say such things. Why do you say that?”
Svetlana lifted her head. Her eyes were red and puffy. “This unit does not need another medic, it needs a therapist !”
“ Sveta, you are here because I asked you to come. You are here because I knew if anyone could bring this unit together, it would be you.”
“ But this is more than I can do! This is not a little problem. This is worse than a nightmare. How was I so stupid to come back?”
“ You just had a very emotional conversation,” said Varvara. “This is your first day back, and so far it has not been good. But you are here for a good purpose. You are here to get our lieutenant back. You are here for us all.”
“ But Varya, I am not a comforter.”
“ Did you not comfort him once already? Or did you make up what happened that night?”
Svetlana said nothing.
“ You see? You can do this. You have done it already, just in a different way.” Her hand slid from Svetlana’s knee. “You had a warm welcome in the room, before David ruined it by being a jerk. Do not let one bitter man crush your spirits.”
“ David is a father,” Svetlana said, looking away. For the first time, her tone was controlled. “He sees this in a way the rest of us do not. Maybe he’s right. Maybe he’s not. I don’t know anymore.”
“ Do you believe he is right?”
Svetlana stared at the younger medic. “I believe Scott is a good man. I have told myself that so many times. I have to believe it—I must.”
Varvara affirmed. “The rest of us believe that as well. You shared something with Scott that none of us did. You can touch him—reach him. That is why you are here.” She tried to smile. “It is not up to you to comfort the rest of us. You worry about him . Believe me, if you can do that, it will bring us comfort enough.”
“ He told me I should have stayed away.” Svetlana pressed her hands to her forehead, where her fingers disappeared in her hair. “I did not expect him to say that.”
“ This will not be easy. I never said it would be. But ask yourself if you want to help him. Do you have that desire?”
Svetlana didn’t answer right away. She only stared back, deep in thought.
“ Do you?”
Finally, she sighed. “Yes, I do.”
“ Good. Because if you would have said no, I would have felt very guilty for sending you that letter.”
“ You should feel guilty.” Svetlana offered her a forced grin. “You know I am joking.”
A moment of quiet passed before Varvara went on. “You should go see the captain. He will be wondering where you are. You have had too much emotion since you’ve been here. You need someone to talk about business.”
“ I will go see him now,” Svetlana said, wiping her eyes and nodding.
“ Do you want me to go with you?”
“ No. I’m okay.”
“ He will be happy to see you. He might hug you.”
“ Might he really?”
“ He has been desperate for any good news. You’re the best news he’s had in three months. But most likely, he will just give you a briefing. There is much for him to tell you about.”
Svetlana rose to continue her trek. “That’s fine with me. At least this will give me something else to think about.”
“ I will leave you to that, then,” Varvara said. “Jayden and I are going into Novosibirsk today, but will I see you again later?”
“ Of course.”
“ I look forward to it.” Varvara watched Svetlana for several moments, then the younger medic offered another hug. She whispered, “This was not a mistake. Just keep saying it to yourself, and you will believe it.”
Svetlana nodded in silence.
“ Now go see the captain.”
“ I will.”
With no further words, the medics parted ways.
When Svetlana arrived at Clarke’s quarters, she found Varvara’s prediction partially correct. She received a friendly welcome
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