whispered just as soft.
"I won't go back there," I said, louder this time. I would sleep out
on the street before I would go back to that house.
"Hope…"
I
didn't let him finish. There was nothing he could say that would get me to even
drive down that street. Maybe it was a good thing that I couldn't see because I
would never see that house again. I turned my body around to Sheldon and opened
my eyes. I may not be able to see anything, but I know that he could see what
my eyes looked like and I wanted him to know that I was serious.
"I'm
telling you, Sheldon, I am not going back to that house."
He
was silent for a moment before I heard him let out a breath.
"Fine.
We have a lot to do until we get to that point, so let's not blow a gasket over
something that will not happen until farther down the road. I will be back
tomorrow, be prepared to work. I will bring some clothes I expect to see you in
every day and you better not give me a hard time."
I
didn't answer him and he took that as my response. I felt the breeze of his
walking past me and knew he was leaving. I didn't offer him a goodbye or even a
see ya' later. I felt the pressure of the door in my ears before I heard it
close.
My
mind was whirling with thoughts and feelings I hadn't felt since I came here. I
sat down in my spot and thought. The last thought that passed through my mind
was the one I spoke out loud.
"I'm
not going back to that house."
Chapter 8
It
was night.
I
could tell because the halls had become peaceful. I lay in my bed desperately
wanting to be taken back to the place in my dreams where I was surrounded by
Charlie and Sawyer. I turned to my side and closed my eyes. I couldn't find
sleep like this. Turning to the other side, I came to the conclusion that this
position wouldn't work either. I laid on my back and opened my eyes. It really
didn't matter, it wasn't like I could see anything in front of me.
I
placed my hands on my chest and felt the rise and fall with every breath. I
fell into the rhythm until I felt my eyelids become heavy. My breathing became
controlled and slow. I noticed my pattern had changed. My chest wasn't rising
as high and it would become less and less each time. Finally, I closed my eyes
and was immediately transported back to the kitchen where I was with Charlie
and Sawyer.
This
time, something was different. I sat where I was once before and I could smell the
apple and cinnamon plug-in scents that I had placed throughout the house. I
looked to Sawyer's highchair, but he wasn't eating like the last time I was
here. I got up and walked around. I called out Charlie's name and there was no
response. This wasn't happening, they were here somewhere. Then, it hit me.
"Sawyer's
room."
A
sigh of relief washed over me as I remembered when Charlie would come home,
whisk Sawyer up in his arms, and fly him all around the world. They had to be
up there playing. I ran for the stairs, taking two at a time until I hit the
second floor. I wanted to watch them interact together, so I quietly peeked
around the corner and found that I was looking into an empty room.
I
ran to our room and jerked the door open. I couldn't believe it. It was as if I
hadn't left it a day. It had been close to two years since the accident and my
mind could still visualize every detail as if I walked out and right back in.
I
designed this room. I wanted it to be feminine, yet make it known that a man sleeps
in here. My brandy and hunter green paisley comforter still covered my king
sized bed. The gold candle holding sconces hung on either side of the large
water colored abstract orchid painting. The colors were remarkable, reds and
crèmes mixed with light blues and a touch of yellow, it was even more
spectacular. The piece caught my eye as soon as I had seen it and I knew that I
had to have it. I moved my eyes slowly, landing on my vanity that sat beside
the large window. I always felt that you should have natural lighting present
when
"I won't go back there," I said, louder this time. I would sleep out
on the street before I would go back to that house.
"Hope…"
I
didn't let him finish. There was nothing he could say that would get me to even
drive down that street. Maybe it was a good thing that I couldn't see because I
would never see that house again. I turned my body around to Sheldon and opened
my eyes. I may not be able to see anything, but I know that he could see what
my eyes looked like and I wanted him to know that I was serious.
"I'm
telling you, Sheldon, I am not going back to that house."
He
was silent for a moment before I heard him let out a breath.
"Fine.
We have a lot to do until we get to that point, so let's not blow a gasket over
something that will not happen until farther down the road. I will be back
tomorrow, be prepared to work. I will bring some clothes I expect to see you in
every day and you better not give me a hard time."
I
didn't answer him and he took that as my response. I felt the breeze of his
walking past me and knew he was leaving. I didn't offer him a goodbye or even a
see ya' later. I felt the pressure of the door in my ears before I heard it
close.
My
mind was whirling with thoughts and feelings I hadn't felt since I came here. I
sat down in my spot and thought. The last thought that passed through my mind
was the one I spoke out loud.
"I'm
not going back to that house."
Chapter 8
It
was night.
I
could tell because the halls had become peaceful. I lay in my bed desperately
wanting to be taken back to the place in my dreams where I was surrounded by
Charlie and Sawyer. I turned to my side and closed my eyes. I couldn't find
sleep like this. Turning to the other side, I came to the conclusion that this
position wouldn't work either. I laid on my back and opened my eyes. It really
didn't matter, it wasn't like I could see anything in front of me.
I
placed my hands on my chest and felt the rise and fall with every breath. I
fell into the rhythm until I felt my eyelids become heavy. My breathing became
controlled and slow. I noticed my pattern had changed. My chest wasn't rising
as high and it would become less and less each time. Finally, I closed my eyes
and was immediately transported back to the kitchen where I was with Charlie
and Sawyer.
This
time, something was different. I sat where I was once before and I could smell the
apple and cinnamon plug-in scents that I had placed throughout the house. I
looked to Sawyer's highchair, but he wasn't eating like the last time I was
here. I got up and walked around. I called out Charlie's name and there was no
response. This wasn't happening, they were here somewhere. Then, it hit me.
"Sawyer's
room."
A
sigh of relief washed over me as I remembered when Charlie would come home,
whisk Sawyer up in his arms, and fly him all around the world. They had to be
up there playing. I ran for the stairs, taking two at a time until I hit the
second floor. I wanted to watch them interact together, so I quietly peeked
around the corner and found that I was looking into an empty room.
I
ran to our room and jerked the door open. I couldn't believe it. It was as if I
hadn't left it a day. It had been close to two years since the accident and my
mind could still visualize every detail as if I walked out and right back in.
I
designed this room. I wanted it to be feminine, yet make it known that a man sleeps
in here. My brandy and hunter green paisley comforter still covered my king
sized bed. The gold candle holding sconces hung on either side of the large
water colored abstract orchid painting. The colors were remarkable, reds and
crèmes mixed with light blues and a touch of yellow, it was even more
spectacular. The piece caught my eye as soon as I had seen it and I knew that I
had to have it. I moved my eyes slowly, landing on my vanity that sat beside
the large window. I always felt that you should have natural lighting present
when
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