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Authors: Donna Gallagher
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see when I look at you? I see the face of the woman I love. The woman I have loved all my life. My best friend. My childhood accomplice. My lover. The woman who turns me on with just a glimpse of her or a thought of her. The burns can’t change that for me. I honestly don’t even notice them when I look at you. They are irrelevant. My love for you is not conditional on how you look. My love is comprehensive—it’s for Emily the person, and I will love you the same way when I am wrinkly and old, probably a cripple from footy injuries. Are you saying that if it had been me in that fire, you would not love me anymore? Is that what you’re saying, Em? Because that is what you are deciding for me. Is that how shallow you think my love for you is?”
Emily had never seen Gareth look so angry. Her heart was racing, the terror of her dream and the words Gareth spoke both fighting for space in her mind. Fighting for dominance. Of course she would still love Gareth—she loved his good looks, his handsome face, but it was Gareth’s soul she loved, his caring. The fact that he had always felt like an extension of her, a part of her.
She had never thought about it in those terms. She knew no scar, injury or illness would stop her love for Gareth. But what about the rest of the world—the looks of horror in the faces of strangers as they caught sight of her? Could he live with that?
“I pushed you away because you deserve more than this.” She wept as she placed his hand against her puckered flesh, making him see and feel her scars. “More than the whispers that follow behind me when I go out in public. More than the knowledge that our children will have to live with the fact their mother is a monster, with their friends too scared to come over and play because of the sight of me.”
Emily was trying to make Gareth see, trying to show him that she was doing this for him, because she loved him. She was shocked by the callousness of his reply.
“That’s just bullshit, Emily. So you have a fucking few scars on your face, boo hoo. Get over yourself. Stop with this whole pity party that you continue to be the only guest at. Move on. Shit happens, and not just to you or because of something you did or didn’t do. The fire was fucked up, destroyed crops and houses. You survived. Yes, you are scarred from it, but believe me, I have seen worse. Much worse. You have no idea of the suffering that goes on in the world. Just take a trip to the children’s hospital with me. Kids with burns all over their tiny bodies, kids dying from terrible illnesses. The ones who are lucky enough to beat the diseases have done so by filling their bodies with poisons that make them so ill, so fucking sick that it is heartbreaking. But you know what, Em? These poor little tykes, they smile, they laugh, and when they’re strong enough they play with each other. They don’t give up. They don’t hide away from the world and shun the ones who love them through some self-righteous fucking notion of doing the right thing. They are just fucking happy to be alive.”
Chapter Nine
He hadn’t been able to stop the words tumbling from his mouth. The hurt and frustration of the last three years, of Emily pushing him and everyone away, out of her life, had just kept coming, growing in momentum until he’d been shouting at her. He could see that he was hurting her, imagined that he had just destroyed any real chance of keeping her with him, of having the life he wanted. They had at one time wanted it together, before the fire had consumed more than just the bushland, animals and houses on its indiscriminate path of destruction, and had ultimately robbed him of his future.
The saddest part of it all was that the land had recovered, the fire but a distant memory, the once charred trees and burnt grasses regrowing, regenerating. It had only taken a few days for Mother Nature to fight back, small green shoots of life sprouting from the blackened
Emily had never seen Gareth look so angry. Her heart was racing, the terror of her dream and the words Gareth spoke both fighting for space in her mind. Fighting for dominance. Of course she would still love Gareth—she loved his good looks, his handsome face, but it was Gareth’s soul she loved, his caring. The fact that he had always felt like an extension of her, a part of her.
She had never thought about it in those terms. She knew no scar, injury or illness would stop her love for Gareth. But what about the rest of the world—the looks of horror in the faces of strangers as they caught sight of her? Could he live with that?
“I pushed you away because you deserve more than this.” She wept as she placed his hand against her puckered flesh, making him see and feel her scars. “More than the whispers that follow behind me when I go out in public. More than the knowledge that our children will have to live with the fact their mother is a monster, with their friends too scared to come over and play because of the sight of me.”
Emily was trying to make Gareth see, trying to show him that she was doing this for him, because she loved him. She was shocked by the callousness of his reply.
“That’s just bullshit, Emily. So you have a fucking few scars on your face, boo hoo. Get over yourself. Stop with this whole pity party that you continue to be the only guest at. Move on. Shit happens, and not just to you or because of something you did or didn’t do. The fire was fucked up, destroyed crops and houses. You survived. Yes, you are scarred from it, but believe me, I have seen worse. Much worse. You have no idea of the suffering that goes on in the world. Just take a trip to the children’s hospital with me. Kids with burns all over their tiny bodies, kids dying from terrible illnesses. The ones who are lucky enough to beat the diseases have done so by filling their bodies with poisons that make them so ill, so fucking sick that it is heartbreaking. But you know what, Em? These poor little tykes, they smile, they laugh, and when they’re strong enough they play with each other. They don’t give up. They don’t hide away from the world and shun the ones who love them through some self-righteous fucking notion of doing the right thing. They are just fucking happy to be alive.”
Chapter Nine
He hadn’t been able to stop the words tumbling from his mouth. The hurt and frustration of the last three years, of Emily pushing him and everyone away, out of her life, had just kept coming, growing in momentum until he’d been shouting at her. He could see that he was hurting her, imagined that he had just destroyed any real chance of keeping her with him, of having the life he wanted. They had at one time wanted it together, before the fire had consumed more than just the bushland, animals and houses on its indiscriminate path of destruction, and had ultimately robbed him of his future.
The saddest part of it all was that the land had recovered, the fire but a distant memory, the once charred trees and burnt grasses regrowing, regenerating. It had only taken a few days for Mother Nature to fight back, small green shoots of life sprouting from the blackened
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