Read Online Dying in Style by Elaine Viets - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Elaine Viets
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Mooom.”
Josie drove in circles, worrying about her life, her daughter and her job. Love is fear, she decided. Her love for Amelia was a different kind of love than what she’d had for Nathan, her child’s father. That was over. Josie hoped someday to feel that same wild love again. But she could live without it.
But if anything happened to Amelia, Josie would feel an emptiness she couldn’t fill ever, no matter how many other children she had. When she became a mother, she gave birth to a whole new crop of fears, some rational, some irrational.
Josie was afraid she’d say or do something that would screw up her daughter’s life forever. She was worried she’d die and Amelia would be raised by her mother and turn into a little old lady. She was afraid Amelia would get some dread disease, like cancer or leukemia.
Those were rational fears. Well, fairly rational.
Then there were the irrational fears. When Josie saw someone arguing about stamps at the post office, she started looking for places to hide Amelia, in case the fight went postal.
When Amelia rode the big roller coaster at Six Flags, Josie stayed on the ground, wringing her hands, afraid the track would break and her daughter would fall to her death.
When Amelia went to a swimming party at Emma’s, Josie had visions of her daughter dead on the bottom of the pool.
When Amelia crossed the street alone, Josie saw cars rushing to run over her, kidnappers waiting in dark vans, gangbangers racing around the corner, spraying bullets.
It was ridiculous, she told herself. It was irrational.
But these tragedies had happened to other parents, ordinary people like her.
Every time Josie heard sirens on her street, her heart stopped. She knew the police were coming to tell her something bad had happened to Amelia.
Josie fought those worries, because she wanted her daughter to be happy and normal. I’m doing a fine job of being a mother, driving all over St. Louis, she thought.
Josie looked at the dashboard clock. It was nine forty-five p.m. She’d been driving aimlessly for two hours. Or maybe it wasn’t so aimless. She found herself at Plaza Venetia.
I need to get back home to Amelia. I am a woman with responsibilities. But Mom’s watching her and Amelia is in bed by now.
Josie remembered there was a chocolate shop on the mall’s second floor, the Queen of Chocolate. She wasn’t going to get that hot bath and margarita tonight. She deserved a chunk of dark chocolate.
The shop drew Josie like a magnet. She could smell its rich perfume two stores away. She bought three ounces of dark chocolate for herself and a milk chocolate dog for Amelia, who loved canines in any form. Her mother liked white chocolate, which Josie considered unnatural. But she got Jane a strawberry dipped in white chocolate.
“Thank you for shopping with us,” the woman behind the chocolate counter said. Her name tag said she was Libby.
Josie would have given Libby an excellent rating if she was mystery-shopping this store. She was polite, helpful and attentive.
Josie had left home without a dime, so she put her purchase on a credit card. Ten bucks for chocolate, she thought. One more bill I can’t pay.
“You look tired,” Libby the Chocolate Lady said. “I am, too. I’ve been here since noon.”
“It has been a long day,” Josie said. “And yours isn’t over yet.”
The chocolate-shop bell rang and a stampede of customers rushed in. Josie picked up her purchases and left.
Right across from the chocolate shop was the Danessa store. Maybe Marina was working a ten-hour shift, too. Maybe Josie could verify that the Russian giant really was there. She went into Danessa’s.
The store was absolutely quiet.
“Hello?” Josie said. “Anyone here?”
No one answered. As usual, she thought. She wished Harry could see the store now. No salesperson greeted her, just like in her report.
But there had been major changes since Josie’s visit to the store yesterday. Now the
Josie drove in circles, worrying about her life, her daughter and her job. Love is fear, she decided. Her love for Amelia was a different kind of love than what she’d had for Nathan, her child’s father. That was over. Josie hoped someday to feel that same wild love again. But she could live without it.
But if anything happened to Amelia, Josie would feel an emptiness she couldn’t fill ever, no matter how many other children she had. When she became a mother, she gave birth to a whole new crop of fears, some rational, some irrational.
Josie was afraid she’d say or do something that would screw up her daughter’s life forever. She was worried she’d die and Amelia would be raised by her mother and turn into a little old lady. She was afraid Amelia would get some dread disease, like cancer or leukemia.
Those were rational fears. Well, fairly rational.
Then there were the irrational fears. When Josie saw someone arguing about stamps at the post office, she started looking for places to hide Amelia, in case the fight went postal.
When Amelia rode the big roller coaster at Six Flags, Josie stayed on the ground, wringing her hands, afraid the track would break and her daughter would fall to her death.
When Amelia went to a swimming party at Emma’s, Josie had visions of her daughter dead on the bottom of the pool.
When Amelia crossed the street alone, Josie saw cars rushing to run over her, kidnappers waiting in dark vans, gangbangers racing around the corner, spraying bullets.
It was ridiculous, she told herself. It was irrational.
But these tragedies had happened to other parents, ordinary people like her.
Every time Josie heard sirens on her street, her heart stopped. She knew the police were coming to tell her something bad had happened to Amelia.
Josie fought those worries, because she wanted her daughter to be happy and normal. I’m doing a fine job of being a mother, driving all over St. Louis, she thought.
Josie looked at the dashboard clock. It was nine forty-five p.m. She’d been driving aimlessly for two hours. Or maybe it wasn’t so aimless. She found herself at Plaza Venetia.
I need to get back home to Amelia. I am a woman with responsibilities. But Mom’s watching her and Amelia is in bed by now.
Josie remembered there was a chocolate shop on the mall’s second floor, the Queen of Chocolate. She wasn’t going to get that hot bath and margarita tonight. She deserved a chunk of dark chocolate.
The shop drew Josie like a magnet. She could smell its rich perfume two stores away. She bought three ounces of dark chocolate for herself and a milk chocolate dog for Amelia, who loved canines in any form. Her mother liked white chocolate, which Josie considered unnatural. But she got Jane a strawberry dipped in white chocolate.
“Thank you for shopping with us,” the woman behind the chocolate counter said. Her name tag said she was Libby.
Josie would have given Libby an excellent rating if she was mystery-shopping this store. She was polite, helpful and attentive.
Josie had left home without a dime, so she put her purchase on a credit card. Ten bucks for chocolate, she thought. One more bill I can’t pay.
“You look tired,” Libby the Chocolate Lady said. “I am, too. I’ve been here since noon.”
“It has been a long day,” Josie said. “And yours isn’t over yet.”
The chocolate-shop bell rang and a stampede of customers rushed in. Josie picked up her purchases and left.
Right across from the chocolate shop was the Danessa store. Maybe Marina was working a ten-hour shift, too. Maybe Josie could verify that the Russian giant really was there. She went into Danessa’s.
The store was absolutely quiet.
“Hello?” Josie said. “Anyone here?”
No one answered. As usual, she thought. She wished Harry could see the store now. No salesperson greeted her, just like in her report.
But there had been major changes since Josie’s visit to the store yesterday. Now the
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