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Authors: S. P. Cervantes
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open slam shut as I replay my talk on the beach with Marcus in my head. The clicking of the lock sealing it away echoes with each glance down the hallway to the room where my girls sleep. I have to be strong for them. I can’t let them see my pain. I can’t let them see how much I know I have let them down. Marcus is leaving me because I am broken. I thought I wasn’t anymore, but he made it clear to me that I still am. My heart is too frozen over to truly love anyone, I guess.
I am lost in my thoughts when Holden snaps his towel at my butt, breaking me from my stupor. He gives me a playful smile and begins singing along to “Barton Hallow,” by the Civil Wars. It is one of my favorite new songs. I am actually surprised he has heard of them, much less knows the words to the song. He takes me in his arms, twirling me around and singing along to every word with his sultry, sexy voice. Holden is an amazingly good singer, which only adds to his sex appeal and pisses me off more. I can’t help but laugh as he enthusiastically twists his hips, swinging our arms back and forth while he serenades me. He moves our bodies along in perfect unison with the beat of the soulful song, his dark hair falling over his captivating green eyes, making my breath hitch for a moment. Holden laces his fingers through mine and pulls me closer, holding me so that our bodies are almost touching, our arms folded towards our faces the only barrier. I can feel his breath on my cheek when he sings softly in my ear, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. I quickly want space. I don’t like that my body reacts this way to him still. I am smarter than this.
Answering my silent plea, the song changes and I back away, smiling over my shoulder. “I think we’ve done enough cleaning up. I’m going to have another glass of water and head to bed. Want anything?”
Holden’s smile tells me he knows what I am doing. “I’ll join you then head home. Do you mind grabbing me one too? I’m going to have a killer headache tomorrow.” He plops down on one of the chaise lounges and closes his eyes, singing along to “Piano Man,” not waiting for my answer.
I roll my eyes, walking back inside and grabbing us each our much-needed water. He is right; tomorrow we are both going to pay for our time with Joey. The difference between tomorrow for Holden and me is that I am going to have to face my two daughters who just found out their world is crumbling…with a hangover. Not good .
I lie back on the chair next to Holden and hand him his water. The music is playing softly in the background and we sit listening to the fireworks in the distance being ignited by people still celebrating. It is peaceful in an eerie sort of way.
Holden wastes no time in bringing up the topic of what happened with Marcus tonight. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on with you and Marcus. But I hope you do one day. Just like I hope one day you are going to tell me what really happened to you before you left for college. I’m here for you, Cam. You can count on me. I won’t go away again.” Holden takes my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’ll always be my best friend.” It is the first time we’ve spoken about anything personal since he came back. I know he knows how hurt I was when he cut me out of his life after the night we spent together after his parents’ funeral, and he’s spent the past six months trying to make it up to me. Four points, Holden.
I can’t help but feel comforted by his words. I look over to see the sincerity in his eyes and get choked up at the memories of our past. I smile weakly. “I know,” is all I could say.
He pulls me over to his chair, sitting me between his legs, wrapping his muscular arms tightly around me. It is an incredibly safe and comforting feeling. In some situations it may have felt a bit too intimate, but right now it is perfect. I lean my head back onto his broad chest and close my
I am lost in my thoughts when Holden snaps his towel at my butt, breaking me from my stupor. He gives me a playful smile and begins singing along to “Barton Hallow,” by the Civil Wars. It is one of my favorite new songs. I am actually surprised he has heard of them, much less knows the words to the song. He takes me in his arms, twirling me around and singing along to every word with his sultry, sexy voice. Holden is an amazingly good singer, which only adds to his sex appeal and pisses me off more. I can’t help but laugh as he enthusiastically twists his hips, swinging our arms back and forth while he serenades me. He moves our bodies along in perfect unison with the beat of the soulful song, his dark hair falling over his captivating green eyes, making my breath hitch for a moment. Holden laces his fingers through mine and pulls me closer, holding me so that our bodies are almost touching, our arms folded towards our faces the only barrier. I can feel his breath on my cheek when he sings softly in my ear, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention. I quickly want space. I don’t like that my body reacts this way to him still. I am smarter than this.
Answering my silent plea, the song changes and I back away, smiling over my shoulder. “I think we’ve done enough cleaning up. I’m going to have another glass of water and head to bed. Want anything?”
Holden’s smile tells me he knows what I am doing. “I’ll join you then head home. Do you mind grabbing me one too? I’m going to have a killer headache tomorrow.” He plops down on one of the chaise lounges and closes his eyes, singing along to “Piano Man,” not waiting for my answer.
I roll my eyes, walking back inside and grabbing us each our much-needed water. He is right; tomorrow we are both going to pay for our time with Joey. The difference between tomorrow for Holden and me is that I am going to have to face my two daughters who just found out their world is crumbling…with a hangover. Not good .
I lie back on the chair next to Holden and hand him his water. The music is playing softly in the background and we sit listening to the fireworks in the distance being ignited by people still celebrating. It is peaceful in an eerie sort of way.
Holden wastes no time in bringing up the topic of what happened with Marcus tonight. “You don’t have to tell me what’s going on with you and Marcus. But I hope you do one day. Just like I hope one day you are going to tell me what really happened to you before you left for college. I’m here for you, Cam. You can count on me. I won’t go away again.” Holden takes my hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’ll always be my best friend.” It is the first time we’ve spoken about anything personal since he came back. I know he knows how hurt I was when he cut me out of his life after the night we spent together after his parents’ funeral, and he’s spent the past six months trying to make it up to me. Four points, Holden.
I can’t help but feel comforted by his words. I look over to see the sincerity in his eyes and get choked up at the memories of our past. I smile weakly. “I know,” is all I could say.
He pulls me over to his chair, sitting me between his legs, wrapping his muscular arms tightly around me. It is an incredibly safe and comforting feeling. In some situations it may have felt a bit too intimate, but right now it is perfect. I lean my head back onto his broad chest and close my
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