ship was greatly truncated to settle in his brain. He had
learned this information in the year-long briefing that had
preceded their departure, but the idea that there were much fewer
degrees of separation between their waste products and their food
on this vessel created a slightly more visceral response now that
they had been on the ship for a few month cycles. But he quickly
reminded himself of Dr. Villichez’s admonishment when Winberg had
grumbled about the lack of variety, “You knew what you were getting
into when you signed up, and if it was going to kill you, you would
no longer be here to whine about it.” Cyrus smiled to himself. That
sounded more like something he would say than Villichez.
“I have something I’ve had on my mind
recently,” Cyrus shifted his weight forward on the bed, allowing
his lungs to expand so it was not as hard to talk and be heard.
“Go on.”
“You talk to Villichez quite a bit,
right?”
“Yeah, I like him.”
“I kinda like him too in an odd,
personality-clash kind of way. Thing is, I don’t think he likes me very much.”
“According to him, he likes you just fine.
You probably stand out in his mind more than anyone else though,”
Tanner clasped his hands together and rested the weight of his
upper body on his knees with his elbows. “He likes the fact that
you have heart, and that you are honest, and the fact you don’t
seem like a quitter.”
“You’re just saying that to make me believe
he likes me,” Cyrus lay back again, but not completely.
“Why would I do that? I personally think
you’re an angry clown.” For a moment Cyrus looked as if he took the
comment seriously, but Tanner smiled and he smiled himself. “I
think Villichez is just straight keel. He likes the fact that you
are too, but doesn’t necessarily openly approve of all the flotsam
you bring to the dinner table sometimes. That’s what fatherly types
are supposed to do. I appreciate it because I never really
got much of that growing up.”
“Your father wasn’t around much?”
“My father wasn’t around at all.” Tanner
looked down at his knees and lifted his hands to the sides of his
face.
“I’m sorry,” Cyrus said. “You don’t have to
talk about it.”
“It’s okay, I’m not ashamed.”
“It’s not that, I...”
Tanner just simply continued, as if he hadn’t
heard the beginning of the qualification, “My mother said she loved
my father very much, and he her, but even though they were hard
workers, they didn’t have much money in the economy before the
Unification.” Tanner sat up a little and looked at Cyrus, who was
riveted and still. “They didn’t have money for contraceptive
treatment and eventually she became pregnant. They needed more
soldiers for the Unification War, and they took draftees from the
lower classes before anywhere else. My mother said my father was
one of the first to go. He didn’t regret it, but because health
care was not easy to come by in those times, she didn’t realize she
was pregnant until after he had gone. My father died in the war,
somewhere in the occupied Middle East. I was born in an old
abandoned schoolhouse. A place where church volunteers helped
administer freebirths. My mother was a cheerful woman, even after
all that, but she never met another man. She said that I was
enough. When I got older, I felt sorry for her.”
Tanner sat up straight for a moment and
inhaled a great breath. He held it there, savored it as if it
contained the very scent of his memory, and then he let it out
slowly and as he leaned forward again. “She said I shouldn’t waste
any pity on her, that she had made her choice, and that she was
content to have a son that could take care of himself and would not
let the world bring him down. After that, I was tapped for the
Spencefield Laureate, and I began taking martial arts.” Tanner
hadn’t realized he had been looking at the laces on his shoes. He
leaned forward and he looked up to meet
learned this information in the year-long briefing that had
preceded their departure, but the idea that there were much fewer
degrees of separation between their waste products and their food
on this vessel created a slightly more visceral response now that
they had been on the ship for a few month cycles. But he quickly
reminded himself of Dr. Villichez’s admonishment when Winberg had
grumbled about the lack of variety, “You knew what you were getting
into when you signed up, and if it was going to kill you, you would
no longer be here to whine about it.” Cyrus smiled to himself. That
sounded more like something he would say than Villichez.
“I have something I’ve had on my mind
recently,” Cyrus shifted his weight forward on the bed, allowing
his lungs to expand so it was not as hard to talk and be heard.
“Go on.”
“You talk to Villichez quite a bit,
right?”
“Yeah, I like him.”
“I kinda like him too in an odd,
personality-clash kind of way. Thing is, I don’t think he likes me very much.”
“According to him, he likes you just fine.
You probably stand out in his mind more than anyone else though,”
Tanner clasped his hands together and rested the weight of his
upper body on his knees with his elbows. “He likes the fact that
you have heart, and that you are honest, and the fact you don’t
seem like a quitter.”
“You’re just saying that to make me believe
he likes me,” Cyrus lay back again, but not completely.
“Why would I do that? I personally think
you’re an angry clown.” For a moment Cyrus looked as if he took the
comment seriously, but Tanner smiled and he smiled himself. “I
think Villichez is just straight keel. He likes the fact that you
are too, but doesn’t necessarily openly approve of all the flotsam
you bring to the dinner table sometimes. That’s what fatherly types
are supposed to do. I appreciate it because I never really
got much of that growing up.”
“Your father wasn’t around much?”
“My father wasn’t around at all.” Tanner
looked down at his knees and lifted his hands to the sides of his
face.
“I’m sorry,” Cyrus said. “You don’t have to
talk about it.”
“It’s okay, I’m not ashamed.”
“It’s not that, I...”
Tanner just simply continued, as if he hadn’t
heard the beginning of the qualification, “My mother said she loved
my father very much, and he her, but even though they were hard
workers, they didn’t have much money in the economy before the
Unification.” Tanner sat up a little and looked at Cyrus, who was
riveted and still. “They didn’t have money for contraceptive
treatment and eventually she became pregnant. They needed more
soldiers for the Unification War, and they took draftees from the
lower classes before anywhere else. My mother said my father was
one of the first to go. He didn’t regret it, but because health
care was not easy to come by in those times, she didn’t realize she
was pregnant until after he had gone. My father died in the war,
somewhere in the occupied Middle East. I was born in an old
abandoned schoolhouse. A place where church volunteers helped
administer freebirths. My mother was a cheerful woman, even after
all that, but she never met another man. She said that I was
enough. When I got older, I felt sorry for her.”
Tanner sat up straight for a moment and
inhaled a great breath. He held it there, savored it as if it
contained the very scent of his memory, and then he let it out
slowly and as he leaned forward again. “She said I shouldn’t waste
any pity on her, that she had made her choice, and that she was
content to have a son that could take care of himself and would not
let the world bring him down. After that, I was tapped for the
Spencefield Laureate, and I began taking martial arts.” Tanner
hadn’t realized he had been looking at the laces on his shoes. He
leaned forward and he looked up to meet
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