startle her. “Pam, honey.” He shook her arm slightly.
“No.” She shrugged him away sloshing water, one creamy breast exposed to his view.
Keeping his eyes averted as best he could, he shook her a little harder. “Pam, wake up.” His voice rose trying to get her to wake.
Pam came awake with a vengeance. Her arms slashed out striking out at anything, slapping him across the head. “No! Get away!” Her screams pierced his heart. “Not again, please! No!” She slipped while trying to sit up banging her head against the hard edge of the bathtub.
Doing his best to restrain her without hurting her was harder than he could ever imagine. She was slippery and scared to death. “Pam!” he shouted louder, trying to get her to snap out of the hysteria she was trapped in. He grabbed her face forcing her to look at him, letting her fist fly hitting him wherever they landed. Her eyes were unfocused, and at that second, he knew she wasn’t seeing him, but seeing a nightmare happening all over again. If he ever saw that son of a bitch, he would make him suffer and beg for death. “Look at me! It’s Duncan! It’s me! Stop before you hurt yourself!”
After what seemed like hours, her eyes started to focus and her fists stilled. She searched his eyes, her naked body shaking from cold and fear. Duncan only held her by the upper arms to keep her balanced, so she didn’t slip.
“It’s me,” Duncan repeated more softly. “You’re safe.”
Her stricken gaze landed on his cheek. A small cry escaped before she could stop it. With one hand covering her mouth, the other hovered over the long scratch mark oozing blood. “I’m so sorry.” She dropped her hand without touching him.
“It’s fine,” Duncan reassured her, but the look in her eyes told him that it wasn’t going to be fine. Reaching over, he grabbed a towel.
“It’s not fine.” She ignored the towel, her face twisted in anguish. “I’m not fine. This isn’t fucking fine!”
“Come on, you’re freezing.” He carefully pulled her up, keeping his eyes on her still stricken gaze. Wrapping the towel around her, he helped her step out of the bathtub.
Pam stood shivering, holding the towel like a lifeline. “I can’t do this.” Pam shook her head looking panicked. “I’m not going to be able to do this.”
“Do what, honey?” Duncan had no clue what she was talking about until her gaze and hand dropped to her stomach.
“Be a good mother.” Tears started to flow freely down her pale cheeks. “What if I see him every time I look at the baby? What if my feelings change once the baby is born and I resent…” She couldn’t finish.
“Have you ever looked at any of the children you worked with differently because they came from a drug dealing father or a deadbeat mother?” Duncan clipped her chin in his large hand, bringing her face to his. “Have you ever turned your back on a child in need?”
Swiping the tears Pam shook her head. “No.”
“You have a heart of gold, Pam. What you have done for children who are not even of your blood, is beyond what a lot of others would do.” Duncan’s lip curved in a small smile as he placed his hand on her stomach. “This little bundle is of your blood, Pam. You are going to love him, or her, like no other, and as for being a good mother, honey, you already are.”
“Thank you,” Pam whispered still looking down at his hand before placing hers on top.
“Just stating the truth.” His other hand touched her cheek; he was pleased she didn’t flinch from his touch. “No need to thank me for that.”
“I want me back.” Pam leaned into his hand. “I’m so tired of being afraid, weak and unsure.”
“Honey, you never left. You’re still here, just a little shaken. I have never met anyone braver.” Duncan’s voice was strong and true. “Give yourself a little time to work through this. I’m not going anywhere and will be by your side.”
“You’re a good man, Duncan Roark,” Pam
“No.” She shrugged him away sloshing water, one creamy breast exposed to his view.
Keeping his eyes averted as best he could, he shook her a little harder. “Pam, wake up.” His voice rose trying to get her to wake.
Pam came awake with a vengeance. Her arms slashed out striking out at anything, slapping him across the head. “No! Get away!” Her screams pierced his heart. “Not again, please! No!” She slipped while trying to sit up banging her head against the hard edge of the bathtub.
Doing his best to restrain her without hurting her was harder than he could ever imagine. She was slippery and scared to death. “Pam!” he shouted louder, trying to get her to snap out of the hysteria she was trapped in. He grabbed her face forcing her to look at him, letting her fist fly hitting him wherever they landed. Her eyes were unfocused, and at that second, he knew she wasn’t seeing him, but seeing a nightmare happening all over again. If he ever saw that son of a bitch, he would make him suffer and beg for death. “Look at me! It’s Duncan! It’s me! Stop before you hurt yourself!”
After what seemed like hours, her eyes started to focus and her fists stilled. She searched his eyes, her naked body shaking from cold and fear. Duncan only held her by the upper arms to keep her balanced, so she didn’t slip.
“It’s me,” Duncan repeated more softly. “You’re safe.”
Her stricken gaze landed on his cheek. A small cry escaped before she could stop it. With one hand covering her mouth, the other hovered over the long scratch mark oozing blood. “I’m so sorry.” She dropped her hand without touching him.
“It’s fine,” Duncan reassured her, but the look in her eyes told him that it wasn’t going to be fine. Reaching over, he grabbed a towel.
“It’s not fine.” She ignored the towel, her face twisted in anguish. “I’m not fine. This isn’t fucking fine!”
“Come on, you’re freezing.” He carefully pulled her up, keeping his eyes on her still stricken gaze. Wrapping the towel around her, he helped her step out of the bathtub.
Pam stood shivering, holding the towel like a lifeline. “I can’t do this.” Pam shook her head looking panicked. “I’m not going to be able to do this.”
“Do what, honey?” Duncan had no clue what she was talking about until her gaze and hand dropped to her stomach.
“Be a good mother.” Tears started to flow freely down her pale cheeks. “What if I see him every time I look at the baby? What if my feelings change once the baby is born and I resent…” She couldn’t finish.
“Have you ever looked at any of the children you worked with differently because they came from a drug dealing father or a deadbeat mother?” Duncan clipped her chin in his large hand, bringing her face to his. “Have you ever turned your back on a child in need?”
Swiping the tears Pam shook her head. “No.”
“You have a heart of gold, Pam. What you have done for children who are not even of your blood, is beyond what a lot of others would do.” Duncan’s lip curved in a small smile as he placed his hand on her stomach. “This little bundle is of your blood, Pam. You are going to love him, or her, like no other, and as for being a good mother, honey, you already are.”
“Thank you,” Pam whispered still looking down at his hand before placing hers on top.
“Just stating the truth.” His other hand touched her cheek; he was pleased she didn’t flinch from his touch. “No need to thank me for that.”
“I want me back.” Pam leaned into his hand. “I’m so tired of being afraid, weak and unsure.”
“Honey, you never left. You’re still here, just a little shaken. I have never met anyone braver.” Duncan’s voice was strong and true. “Give yourself a little time to work through this. I’m not going anywhere and will be by your side.”
“You’re a good man, Duncan Roark,” Pam
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