full of overcooked oatmeal. I checked myself for injuries and found no lumps, no bumps, nothing other than a tingle where he’d slapped my face, and a similar sensation on the left side of my neck. I’d heard of martial arts moves that could put a man out with a slap on the carotid artery, cause the blood pressure to go haywire. I’d read that they were frowned upon because while the victim usually woke up unharmed moments later, sometimes the victim didn’t wake up at all, having bled out from a torn carotid artery. I guess that was a chance my new friend was willing to take.
The world sloshed unpleasantly as I pushed myself up off the ground. I steadied myself on the utility pole and dusted off my shirt and pants, keeping my anger in check and directed at myself. Walking stiffly back toward my car, I thought about how much I hoped to run into that guy again, and how much that town was starting to seriously piss me off.
Halfway home, I came upon a figure walking along the side of the road, looking as pathetic as I felt—shoulders slumped, feet dragging, and a big wet spot in the middle of his back.
I pulled up next to him and lowered the window. “Moose.”
His skin was blotchy, and his face was dripping, like he’d been walking in the heat long enough to remember how much he’d had to drink the night before.
He walked around to the passenger side and got in. Without asking, he reached over and cranked up the air conditioning, moving the vent in his direction. “I feel like crap.”
“Mmm,” I said with a sarcastic smile. “Squish.”
Normally, I might have piled it on a little thicker, but having your ass handed to you is humbling, and I still felt a tiny bit woozy. He sank back in his seat and closed his eyes.
“So that’s your friend Carl?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“You didn’t mention he was a junkie.”
“What?” He opened his eyes and sat up a little. “Squirrel’s not a junkie. Are you kidding? He’s like, Mr. Healthy Natural. That’s why he makes his own hooch. He doesn’t want to put chemicals into his body.”
“He wouldn’t be the first to make an exception for drugs.” I shrugged. “Maybe it’s organic junk, but he’s using.”
“Dude, you are so wrong. You’re just thinking like a cop.”
I gave him a look. “His eyes were half-closed, his pupils were constricted, and his nose was runny.”
“That’s probably hay fever or something. Squirrel’s just high on life.”
“You don’t think he seemed stoned?”
Moose shrugged and closed his eyes again. “Maybe he was a little more high on life than usual, but that’s all.”
* * *
Moose was practically asleep by the time we got home. His head had left a smudge where it slid down the window.
I was feeling a little worse for wear myself, and after I stopped the car in the driveway and shut off the engine, I let my eyes rest for a moment.
When I opened them, I saw Nola Watkins charging up the driveway toward me with a look of murderous rage. My brain scrambled through everything I had said or done in the last twenty-four hours, but I couldn’t think of anything particularly egregious. That scared me even more, because usually it was the infractions you didn’t know about that got you in the most trouble.
I put the key in the ignition to start the car, but she walked around to the passenger side. That’s when I realized she wasn’t coming for me. She was coming for Moose.
16
“Uh, Moose…” I said, giving him just enough warning to open his eyes before she opened the door and he tumbled onto the ground.
“You idiot !” she shrieked.
Moose put up his hands like he thought she might actually hit him. “What?”
I climbed out of the car and hurried over in case I needed to get between them. Nola held up her left hand, and I saw that she was holding an ear of corn. “Look at this!”
Moose stared up at her, confused but too scared to ask her to clarify.
With an exasperated growl,
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