Read Online Dreaming of Atmosphere by Jim C. Wilson - Free Book Online

Sure enough, about ten minutes after I had the bridge to myself, Maxine entered the compartment, her hair still damp from showering. She wore the same jump suit I wore.
    “Before I call the crew, we need to talk.”
    Shit, I thought, here it comes.
    “Yeah, I figured it was coming.”
    “Good, it’s a start that you realise you made mistakes. I’m not going to chew you out about Jenner sneaking up on you, but we need to talk about your PTSD.”
    I sighed, “It’s been a while since I had an episode.”
    “Yes it has, but you’re still having them. Should I be getting in contact with Dr Shale?”
    “No, it’s just, I’d been thinking about a few of my old squaddies and then Jenner dropped that bomb on me. I don’t think I was mentally prepared, or something.”
    “I’m worried about you. Especially considering where we’re headed.”
    “I’m fine. Really. Won’t happen again.”
    She looked at me like she didn’t believe me.
    “Your inability to talk about Gossamer, and what happened, isn’t healthy. You need to deal with this. I need you on your A game. Normally, I’d let you deal with it on your own, like you’ve always done. But I can’t afford to do that this time.”
    “I’m not sure I like where this is going.”
    “You won’t. If you won’t talk to me about it, talk to your doctor.”
    “Shale? He’s light years away, we don’t have time to see my shrink!”
    “I’m not talking about Shale…”
    “Who? Zoe? Not a lot of options out here, Max!”
    “Why not Zoe?”
    “You’re serious?”
    “You think I only got her on the crew because she’s good with a bandage?”
    “What do you mean?”
    “When you came back to the Dreaming, you were a veteran of some major fucking combat actions. You had half of your torso blown away and replaced by machines and biological augmentations. Adjusting to that was rough, and you were doing double and triple shifts on the bridge because you didn’t sleep. When you weren’t on duty you were sparing with Crege for hours on end. You were taking apart and reassembling all our guns repeatedly. You were joining Eric and Cuts in the engine compartments almost as much as they were.”
    “I was trying to bond with the crew!”
    “You were trying to stay busy so that you didn’t have time to think!”
    I was silent, mostly because she was right.
    “You’re getting better. At least I thought you were. But it’s clear that you still have to deal with what happened to you.”
    “And how does Zoe fit into this?”
    “She knows how to keep your Augs in good condition, and she’s had training in psychological treatment as well as medicine.”
    “So you hired her to take care of me?”
    “In case you haven’t noticed, you both need taking care of.”
    “So I’m her Space Daddy, and she’s my post-traumatic stress Mummy?”
    “Don’t joke about it, Seth, I really need you. The crew needs you.”
    I took a deep breath and blew it out, in defeat.
    “Okay. I’ll try and talk to her. I think she’s mad at me though.”
    “She’s a women, we’re always mad a men. Keeps you in line.”
    “Speaking of lines…”
    “The bitch?”
    “Artemis.”
    “Right. I’ll be talking with her right after I address the crew. Make the call. Cargo hold. Listen in.”
    She stood up and hesitated. Her hand rested on my shoulder for a few seconds and I couldn’t look her in the eye. She walked out and when I could hear the compartment hatch shut I used the PA and piped the crew to the cargo hold. As I pushed the button I could see my hand shaking slightly and griped it tightly with my other hand.
    I sat back and did some serious thinking. How was I going to talk to Zoe about my past? I didn’t even know how to bring it up with Max. It’s not that I become a jabbering wreck when I think about it, it’s just that I don’t know where to start, or where I’d become so undone. Maybe I should just talk to her, see where my thoughts end up. I just hoped she