a chair in the corner of the room. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He points at the answering machine.
“I didn’t know how to let him down. I wasn’t sure if I was just going to go or not.” Oh that came out wrong
“Really? You gave yourself to me when you weren’t sure if you wanted go on a date with Brad? You’re leading him on or you’re using me. Which is it, Antonia?”
“I’m neither. This all happened really quickly, Finlay. I wasn’t planning to give myself to you.”
Before I can get out another word, he storms into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. What the hell?
I don’t even want to date Brad . . . how can he even think I would want anyone after what we shared? I hate how he jumps from affectionate to asshole in the same breath. I already miss the heat of his body against mine; he’s changed me forever and I wished he knew or at least stuck around for me to tell him.
I climb from the bed, grabbing up the sheets that are stained with my innocence.
I make a pot of coffee and locate my cell, which needs charging. I’m starving so I make us both a sandwich. I can’t believe what should have been the best day of my life has already turned to shit.
I grab my sketchpad and chalk; I need to draw. The last couple of days have been so intense, and emotions are running high with everyone. I need a different kind of release, the kind I only get through art.
My wrist moves my hands flawlessly over the paper. I don’t choose what I draw; my mind won’t let me draw anything else. All I can think about is Finlay’s face fixed on me with hunger in his eyes. I sketch the same image three times before I’m happy I’ve got his look just right.
His sandwich sits untouched and stale. It’s been two hours since our fight.
I turn on my phone to six texts and two voicemails.
Goodnight, hope you had a good day x B
Morning x B
What time should I pick you up?
X B
Hey sweetheart, just checking in, love Mom x
Be home at 6
Gabs xxx
Cnt believe Fin wnts evry1 out so much 4 ur date :( see u soon
Gabs xxx
I don’t bother with the voicemails since I know they’re from Brad, and my phone is now ringing in my hand, Brad’s name lighting up the screen.
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Hey back. I’ve been trying to call you. I kinda feel like a stalker.”
You kind of are, but I’ll take it down to just keen.
“I’m sorry, my phone was off. I’ve been working on some art projects.”
“Oh, that’s good. I’d love to see some of your stuff.”
My stomach knots. I don’t think he would feel that way if he saw what I’ve been drawing today.
“Erm, yeah, sure. Maybe.”
“Okay, well Hayes called me. Plans have changed for tonight. Are you okay with that?”
“I don’t know what the new plans are.”
“Oh, really? Well, Hayes wants everyone to go out together. There are some good bands playing at Gav’s club tonight. Gav put us on the VIP list but if you don’t fancy it we could still do our own thing.”
“Bands? That sounds cool.”
“Oh, okay. Well I guess I’ll see you at eight then. We’re all meeting at Fin’s place.”
“Okay, sounds good. See you then. Bye.”
“Bye.”
Finlay enters the room as I disconnect the call. His hair is damp and he’s wearing a black polo shirt with cargo type trousers. He has bare feet and he smells of fresh linen and body wash.
“Thanks for tonight, and for the get out of jail free card with Brad,” I say, eyeing him hesitantly.
“I didn’t do it for you, I did it for Gaby. I need to clear the air with Mike and put things back together. Feel free to still go on your date.”
“Wow, that’s perfect, thanks for enlightening morning Finlay, I’m sure it’s one I’ll never forget.”
“Your welcome.”
“You’re an asshole.”
I gather my things, not wanting him to see the sketches proving he’s the only man on my mind. He doesn’t deserve to know, and I don’t deserve his attitude. I can’t believe this is how
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