control. He kissed me hard, pulling aside my clothes, and was inside me in seconds. Umm, shite, it felt good to be so desired. And I had so much desire in me, he brought it to the surface, and we grabbed at each other’s backs and the surreal-ness of the situation, the newness, doing it with another vampire ... a new vampire. It was fast and furious, and we both pretty much exploded with the pleasure of it.
But afterwards he didn’t bask around, staring into my eyes. He wanted to hunt, but I made him come with me to take shelter from the daylight.
I could practically feel the resentment pouring off him. That day we did not get much sleep – he was hungry, and, god damn it, I was hungry, too. After all, I’d been focusing on him and his feeding. But he was new and he wasn’t handling it well.
It was not a good day.
It was not full of love making in our tree cubby hole. It was full of whinging and groaning, of the negative variety. And wanting, of the blood variety. I was relieved when night fell and it was time to hunt again. We went on a hunting rampage, me sticking close to his side, but making sure I got my fill, too.
He teased me when I tried to persuade him to stop before killing, teased me about being a hippy animal rights goody. I wasn’t impressed.
We hunted until I was full. But he wasn’t, he wanted more. He wasn’t satisfied at all. We fed off each other, but it wasn’t erotic like before – he was looking for satisfaction for his hunger, and I was not providing that satisfaction. We went to bed that morning together, but when I woke up that night there was an empty space by my side.
Adam was gone.
Shit.
I looked around urgently, my heart racing.
“Adam,” I called. “Adaaaam!”
The night seemed extra dark and quiet. For the first time since living in the forest I felt scared.
“Adaaaam!”
There was no answer, and then I noticed his things were gone, too.
He had left me.
And it wasn’t hard to figure out what he’d do – he’d go in search of human blood.
I had failed.
This whole making friends with a human had not gone to plan. At all.
I opened up my senses, listening out for footsteps, or anything that might betray Adam’s location. There was nothing. I tried to hone in on my sense of smell, to follow his trail that way, but it was no good. He had smelled different, and that smell didn’t carry with him.
I couldn’t see any footprints. Any trail.
I slumped back down against a tree trunk and burst into tears. This … this was going to lead to more deaths, more deaths because of me.
This was my fault.
How could Adam have done this? How had I not seen that recklessness within him? How had I read him so wrong? First of all, to do that – to slice his throat – take that risk, and then to leave me here. Abandon me. I’d bloody well been dumped.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Tears ran down my face, and I wiped them angrily off my chin. And it dawned on me what I needed to do. I needed to go back to the city. I was sure that’s where he would have gone, all those delicious people … the anonymity….
I was going to have to find him ... try and win him over to my way … try and stop him from killing….
I didn’t want to go back to the city. There would not be an abundant array of animals to snack upon. No. Instead there would be rats … and humans … temptation. And I couldn’t go back to my flat, I’d have to scour the city for somewhere to hide. I couldn’t be seen, I couldn’t get caught. It was a risk, but I knew I had to do it. I had to try to make amends.
I had to make this right.
Chapter 8
I hunted, a final free wild hunt. And then I bathed in a stream, packed up my things, and headed for the city.
It felt oppressive re-entering a built up area, being away from my connection to nature, but it also felt exciting,
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