at school Iâd inevitably get one of the losers. They say like attracts like.
âPenelope, youâre with Josh over there. Josh, wave your hand.â
Iâm scanning the line of people, desperately looking for Josh, and then I get to the sexy man and see his hand is waving. Oh my God, I actually got the cool guy. I beam with pride and then I realise that it makes me look fifteen and Iâm suddenly back looking down at the floor. Which in my defence is a very cool parquet floor which would look lovely in our Victorian terrace.
âHi, Iâm Josh.â
I resist the temptation to say that I know and instead I go into business mode and stick my hand out.
âPenelope, but you can call me Penny.â
Or anything else you like. What is wrong with me? I keep having a mental block that Iâm engaged. It is just that he is so tall with dreamy blue eyes and heâs wearing a leather jacket. Yep, Iâm fifteen. And still a loser.
âNice to meet you, Penny. I heard your story.â
âPretty shameful, huh?â
âYeah, but Iâve heard worse.â
I try not to think what could be worse; it is far too depressing to think about.
âCome on, you can at least smile. Hey, itâs not like you stole from anyone,â says Josh.
No, thatâs true. I have not stolen from anyone. Except myself and, well I guess, Mark. It was his money, too.
âWell, I sort of did. It was mostly my fiancéâs money.â
âOh yeah, thatâs true.â
Thatâs just great. Iâm a gambler and a thief. I hadnât thought of it that way before. This is getting off to a swell start. I really hope that my mentor has other tips and wisdom to make me feel better about my gambling addiction.
Oh no, here come the tears. I just canât control them.
âWhoa there, donât cry. Youâre getting help. Youâre doing the right thing.â
He rubs my arm with his very manly hands. It is times like this that I wished my diamond weighed down my hand a little more, just to remind me about my fiancé, Mark.
Mark
. Focus on Mark and not Josh with his dreamy blue eyes.
âSo whatâs your story?â I ask before I start to drift into a wedding fantasy, and this time Josh is in danger of makinga star appearance at the altar.
âI was addicted to online poker. I won almost twenty thousand pounds.â
âHoly crap, that would have paid for my dream wedding.â
Maybe I could get Josh to play a few hands for me to help me.
âYeah, but in the end I lost fifty thousand pounds. My partner, Mel, found out and gave me the âitâs the gambling or meâ ultimatum. And at that point I realised that I had a problem and I got help.â
Partner. God dammit. Of course Josh has a girlfriend. I bet sheâs perfect and wouldnât gamble away their wedding fund.
Mark. Mark. Mark. What is wrong with me? I have a fiancé.
âAnd now you donât gamble at all?â I ask, trying to concentrate on what is going on.
âNope. I barely use the computer outside of work. Itâs just easier that way.â
Imagine not using the internet out of work! I donât think I could cope with that. It would be one thing to go cold turkey from the bingo but it would be another not going on the ASOS website for a little shopping every so often.
âHow does this work then, with you and me? I mean, you being my mentor.â
I donât want him to think I mean âyou and meâ in a couplyway. Iâm just going to play with my hair so he can clearly see my engagement ring and then heâll know Iâm not trying to flirt with him.
âSo, OK, we swap numbers and you call me or text me if you want to play bingo. Weâll chat or arrange to meet.â
âAnd if Iâm not tempted to play bingo?â
âThen weâll check in with each other at the meetings on Tuesday. Just think of me as a safety blanket.
âPenelope, youâre with Josh over there. Josh, wave your hand.â
Iâm scanning the line of people, desperately looking for Josh, and then I get to the sexy man and see his hand is waving. Oh my God, I actually got the cool guy. I beam with pride and then I realise that it makes me look fifteen and Iâm suddenly back looking down at the floor. Which in my defence is a very cool parquet floor which would look lovely in our Victorian terrace.
âHi, Iâm Josh.â
I resist the temptation to say that I know and instead I go into business mode and stick my hand out.
âPenelope, but you can call me Penny.â
Or anything else you like. What is wrong with me? I keep having a mental block that Iâm engaged. It is just that he is so tall with dreamy blue eyes and heâs wearing a leather jacket. Yep, Iâm fifteen. And still a loser.
âNice to meet you, Penny. I heard your story.â
âPretty shameful, huh?â
âYeah, but Iâve heard worse.â
I try not to think what could be worse; it is far too depressing to think about.
âCome on, you can at least smile. Hey, itâs not like you stole from anyone,â says Josh.
No, thatâs true. I have not stolen from anyone. Except myself and, well I guess, Mark. It was his money, too.
âWell, I sort of did. It was mostly my fiancéâs money.â
âOh yeah, thatâs true.â
Thatâs just great. Iâm a gambler and a thief. I hadnât thought of it that way before. This is getting off to a swell start. I really hope that my mentor has other tips and wisdom to make me feel better about my gambling addiction.
Oh no, here come the tears. I just canât control them.
âWhoa there, donât cry. Youâre getting help. Youâre doing the right thing.â
He rubs my arm with his very manly hands. It is times like this that I wished my diamond weighed down my hand a little more, just to remind me about my fiancé, Mark.
Mark
. Focus on Mark and not Josh with his dreamy blue eyes.
âSo whatâs your story?â I ask before I start to drift into a wedding fantasy, and this time Josh is in danger of makinga star appearance at the altar.
âI was addicted to online poker. I won almost twenty thousand pounds.â
âHoly crap, that would have paid for my dream wedding.â
Maybe I could get Josh to play a few hands for me to help me.
âYeah, but in the end I lost fifty thousand pounds. My partner, Mel, found out and gave me the âitâs the gambling or meâ ultimatum. And at that point I realised that I had a problem and I got help.â
Partner. God dammit. Of course Josh has a girlfriend. I bet sheâs perfect and wouldnât gamble away their wedding fund.
Mark. Mark. Mark. What is wrong with me? I have a fiancé.
âAnd now you donât gamble at all?â I ask, trying to concentrate on what is going on.
âNope. I barely use the computer outside of work. Itâs just easier that way.â
Imagine not using the internet out of work! I donât think I could cope with that. It would be one thing to go cold turkey from the bingo but it would be another not going on the ASOS website for a little shopping every so often.
âHow does this work then, with you and me? I mean, you being my mentor.â
I donât want him to think I mean âyou and meâ in a couplyway. Iâm just going to play with my hair so he can clearly see my engagement ring and then heâll know Iâm not trying to flirt with him.
âSo, OK, we swap numbers and you call me or text me if you want to play bingo. Weâll chat or arrange to meet.â
âAnd if Iâm not tempted to play bingo?â
âThen weâll check in with each other at the meetings on Tuesday. Just think of me as a safety blanket.
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