Don Quixote, Which Was a Dream

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Authors: Kathy Acker
Tags: Fiction, Literary, General
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uncomfortable always maintaining over discomfort, even when it becomes pain, that rigidity of control, that is, appearance apparent. The family's women aren't delicate and don't faint; the men who've spent their lives laying back in lawn chairs and feed gaping-mouthed cockers are. The priest, a short fat man who sides with Garibaldi but has to do as his master dictates, shrinks into one corner of the carriage.
    The youngest son, actually a nephew but since he's treated as a son is, is gorgeous. Black hair black eyes and white skin fighting each other parallel the sun's whitening of the earth. His clothes in contrast to his family's aren't rumpled, but slovenly in a manner that denotes the highest bohemian elegance. He just fought with the Garibaldists. Wounded.
    When they returned to Palermo, the town had already, though not yet openly, welcomed the Garibaldini. A sleazy toady who has plenty of brains but keeps them hidden within his unctuousness is the new mayor. The Prince's old flunky, a thin man in a tan coat torn every which way possible, is keeping his mouth shut. The women look up to the men as if they want to be raped. When The Prince walks in to vote, out of respect the mayor halts the election. Tiny crystal cordials
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    hold brilliant red, clear, and brown liqueurs. The Prince votes for Garibaldi and when his fat priest hesitates, The Prince says, 'You're not allowed to vote because every priest's a foreigner.' Nothing in the town had changed: The Prince still ruled Palermo.
    That night there was a festival in honor of Garibaldi's unanimous victory. The Prince saw the mayor's daughter as she stood on the balcony and listened to her father who was orating with pride. The Prince desired her. Her eyes were fixated on her father.
    Human desire creates a story.
    During a long hot afternoon while The Prince was hunting with his flunky, Ciccio, he asked Ciccio Ciccio's opinion of their new mayor: 'How did you vote in the election?' 'I thought voting was supposed to be secret.' 'It doesn't matter now.' After more egging, 'I voted against Garibaldi.' 'I told you to vote for Garibaldi. He's the better of two possible evils.' 'How can I remain faithful to you and at the same time vote for Garibaldi? I voted against Garibaldi, yet the new mayor announced the vote was unanimously pro-Garibaldi. So it's as if I never voted; I don't exist.'
    'Do you know the mayor's wife?' 'She's an animal. She can't read nor hardly write. She can't speak. The sleazy Mayor keeps her under lock and key. But I've seen her because one afternoon I spied through a hole in the church wall while she was praying. She's beautiful.' Some while later as they're standing between a leafless tree's arms: 'What about their daughter?' This is the question The Prince wanted to ask all along, but he was unable to ask directly. 'She's as good and clean as her mother's an animal. She's paradise.' He kisses his lingers, 'She loves animals and everyone loves her.'
    'Don't talk that way, for now she's part of my family and above you. I'm giving her to my nephew in marriage.' 'You can't do that! This connection'll ruin your family: her grandfather's a low peasant they call "Mr Shit".' 'Her father's now politically powerful and wealthy. Don't be a fool.' The Prince's desire for the daughter's making him marry his elegant nephew to her.
    The Prince to himself: Alone. Alone my heart. This, for
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    you. I've decided I love you. This is a decision. I like being alone and I love you. Black dress all rumpled up into the sofa. I want to say this: this is I love you. I hope that we'll carefully fashion, though there's no human who can do anything, our loving because it's slow and sure and we're smart. Are we smart? I'm doing this for you because I love you.
    :My heart.
    :I woke up this morning and I needed you. I screamed. 'She's going to leave me.' I know I don't know if you're going to leave me. I screamed, 'She's going to leave me.' The scream is my realization I need you.

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