Read Online Divorce Islamic Style by Amara Lakhous - Free Book Online
Authors: Amara Lakhous
Ads: Link
I’ve never once in my life seen a woman leading prayers.
The truth is, Muslims who are continually citing the Prophet Mohammed, and then, safe at home, beat their wife and children, make me angry. Our Prophet was not a violent man. I know his story, I find it absolutely ridiculous to reduce his great example to polygamy. Even if he lived fourteen centuries ago, I think he’s very advanced compared to the Muslims of today.
Would you like to talk about polygamy in the Koran? I’m not afraid. I’m ready. I didn’t study at the religious university of Al Azhar, but I’ve read a ton of books on the subject. So: there are just three lines on the subject of polygamy and they are found in the chapter titled “Women.” Here’s exactly what they say: “Among the women you like, marry two or three or four, and if you’re afraid you can’t be fair to them, then one alone.” End of quotation. In my humble opinion, polygamy is linked to conditions that are impossible to fulfill. I would like to see how Signor Polygamist will be fair to four wives! In fact, he’ll have to divide everything precisely into four: time, money, kisses, presents, and so on. It’s easier to see the moon at midday than to treat four women in the identical way. It’s a real mess, and leads straight to the insane asylum. Poor polygamist? Poor my foot! His bad luck.
Yet, and I’m sorry to say this, the battle against polygamy was lost from the start. Why? I’ve already explained it. O.K., let’s repeat it for the last time: in Muslim society the male is the opponent and the referee at the same time. Is it clear now?
Anyway, I personally don’t have to worry too much, because my husband isn’t rich. Polygamy is a luxury, and not all Muslims (I would add: luckily) can afford it.
My wedding night? I would say that it went well, in spite of our lack of experience. I don’t feel like recounting the details. I’m a little embarrassed. And then Islam prohibits spouses from speaking to third parties about their sex life. What happens in the bedroom should remain top secret. But everyone knows that we women talk too much. We often let ourselves go with our best friends, who in turn have other best friends, and so on. In the end marital secrets lose their value and become the subject of gossip. I, however, am careful about these things.
The test of virginity is only the first on the list. Right afterward comes the test of fertility. Because in Muslim society sterility is cause for divorce. If the couple doesn’t succeed in having children it’s always the woman’s fault, as if impotence and male sterility didn’t even exist.
Thank God I got pregnant right away. Another important test passed. Great joy all around. And right away the expectations started: let’s hope it’s a male! The name had been ready ever since my father-in-law died, may God have mercy on his soul. Instead, Aida arrived. She’s four now, and she’s the light of my life. She was born in Cairo, nine months after the wedding. I didn’t waste any time. How good I’ve been!
Thank God traditions, especially the ones that are harmful to women, don’t last for eternity. Everything comes to an end, and God Almighty remains. Because, sooner or later, change arrives, like the sun when it melts mountains of ice. In my grandmother’s time, a woman who gave birth only to girls was considered half sterile, and seriously risked being divorced. Fertility is bound up with the procreation of males. All the husbands of that time were very demanding; they were considered kings and they wanted a male heir. A man who has only daughters is only half a father, and for that he deserves compassion: poor man, he’s
Abu al-banat
, a father of girls!
The early days in Italy were really hard. When I went out on the street, people looked at me morbidly, almost obsessively. I wondered: Was I walking around naked? And then in their eyes I often saw irritation, uneasiness, impatience, and fear. And
The truth is, Muslims who are continually citing the Prophet Mohammed, and then, safe at home, beat their wife and children, make me angry. Our Prophet was not a violent man. I know his story, I find it absolutely ridiculous to reduce his great example to polygamy. Even if he lived fourteen centuries ago, I think he’s very advanced compared to the Muslims of today.
Would you like to talk about polygamy in the Koran? I’m not afraid. I’m ready. I didn’t study at the religious university of Al Azhar, but I’ve read a ton of books on the subject. So: there are just three lines on the subject of polygamy and they are found in the chapter titled “Women.” Here’s exactly what they say: “Among the women you like, marry two or three or four, and if you’re afraid you can’t be fair to them, then one alone.” End of quotation. In my humble opinion, polygamy is linked to conditions that are impossible to fulfill. I would like to see how Signor Polygamist will be fair to four wives! In fact, he’ll have to divide everything precisely into four: time, money, kisses, presents, and so on. It’s easier to see the moon at midday than to treat four women in the identical way. It’s a real mess, and leads straight to the insane asylum. Poor polygamist? Poor my foot! His bad luck.
Yet, and I’m sorry to say this, the battle against polygamy was lost from the start. Why? I’ve already explained it. O.K., let’s repeat it for the last time: in Muslim society the male is the opponent and the referee at the same time. Is it clear now?
Anyway, I personally don’t have to worry too much, because my husband isn’t rich. Polygamy is a luxury, and not all Muslims (I would add: luckily) can afford it.
My wedding night? I would say that it went well, in spite of our lack of experience. I don’t feel like recounting the details. I’m a little embarrassed. And then Islam prohibits spouses from speaking to third parties about their sex life. What happens in the bedroom should remain top secret. But everyone knows that we women talk too much. We often let ourselves go with our best friends, who in turn have other best friends, and so on. In the end marital secrets lose their value and become the subject of gossip. I, however, am careful about these things.
The test of virginity is only the first on the list. Right afterward comes the test of fertility. Because in Muslim society sterility is cause for divorce. If the couple doesn’t succeed in having children it’s always the woman’s fault, as if impotence and male sterility didn’t even exist.
Thank God I got pregnant right away. Another important test passed. Great joy all around. And right away the expectations started: let’s hope it’s a male! The name had been ready ever since my father-in-law died, may God have mercy on his soul. Instead, Aida arrived. She’s four now, and she’s the light of my life. She was born in Cairo, nine months after the wedding. I didn’t waste any time. How good I’ve been!
Thank God traditions, especially the ones that are harmful to women, don’t last for eternity. Everything comes to an end, and God Almighty remains. Because, sooner or later, change arrives, like the sun when it melts mountains of ice. In my grandmother’s time, a woman who gave birth only to girls was considered half sterile, and seriously risked being divorced. Fertility is bound up with the procreation of males. All the husbands of that time were very demanding; they were considered kings and they wanted a male heir. A man who has only daughters is only half a father, and for that he deserves compassion: poor man, he’s
Abu al-banat
, a father of girls!
The early days in Italy were really hard. When I went out on the street, people looked at me morbidly, almost obsessively. I wondered: Was I walking around naked? And then in their eyes I often saw irritation, uneasiness, impatience, and fear. And
Similar Books
