pieces. Instead it breaks into much larger pieces, which are incredibly sharp and painful. My home-run swing has broken through a lot of the glass, but I still have to spend a few minutes jabbing through the rest in order to get through the window. Why didn't the shed have a nice pair of work gloves?
Once I've broken through all the glass, I make my way through the window and try my best to avoid another incident. As luck would have it, I make my way in unscathed. My first breaking and entering is off to a roaring success!
As I predicted, this is indeed a bedroom, although it doesn't look like the master. Most of the houses in this neighborhood are two-stories, where the master bedroom is upstairs.
I begin exploring the rest of the bottom floor, which is very tidy and clean. The family room has a big screen TV with a nice, long leather couch surrounding it. My favorite room in the house, the kitchen, is right behind it. The two rooms have a very open feel that all housewives love, being able to cook and watch their husbands watch Monday Night Football at the same time.
When I go to the pantry, I'm delighted by the plethora of cereal options. They've even splurged on the name-brand cereal, something I usually don't buy because I'm cheap. I open every single cabinet until finally the last one I choose is the one with the cereal bowls. I grab the biggest one I can find and start digging in. Normally, I eat cereal with milk like every other normal person. Milk now may be a bad idea since it's been warming for almost a day now. I'm starved, so dry cereal is more than enough for my taste buds. I am, however, a bit thirsty. It occurs to me I haven't drunk any water all day. Fortunately, at the bottom of the pantry is about a half-dozen bottles of water. I waste no time opening one and chugging the entire thing. Once I finish, I'm reminded again the power is out and I go into a panic. I run over to the faucet to see if the water works. Just as I expect, it doesn't. I've learned from somewhere that a person can live for several days without food, but much less time without water. With no faucet water, I'm left with drinking only the bottled water I can find.
It's starting to get dark so I begin opening up drawers and looking for a flashlight. To my surprise I find a nice, bright flashlight in one of the kitchen drawers.
While I still have daylight left, I begin surveying the rest of the house. I can't help feeling creepy doing this. I'm in somebody else's home, without their permission, snooping around through their stuff. If they came home now I would die of humiliation. What on Earth would I say and do if they came back? I think I'd find the first door I could and take off running. I'd rather face Cujo than experience that level of embarrassment. If I told them the truth about my story they'd probably think I escaped from the nut house.
As I peek through their rooms, it looks like they have one teenage boy and a younger girl. One room is filled with heavy metal band posters on the wall and black Misfit clothes on the floor; I'll bet this kid is a troublemaker. The little girl's room couldn't be more different. It's clean, tidy, and pink from floor to ceiling with unicorn posters hanging on the wall.
I think of anything in the house I might want to take back with me. The first thing, obviously, is all of the cereal, peanut butter, and other food that doesn't need to be cooked. I look for something to put everything in and find a large suitcase in a closet. It's a little unorthodox to put food in it, but it's easy to carry and should get the job done.
Looking through the master bedroom, there's really nothing of use I can find. I have all of the clothes and other items I need at my house. Opening up the underwear drawer, it looks like mama has a few pounds to lose. These panties are large enough to cover a small child.
Dad needs to get over his obsession with plaid, flannel shirts. Seeing these redneck shirts makes me wonder
Corinne Davies
Robert Whitlow
Tracie Peterson
Sherri Wilson Johnson
David Eddings
Anne Conley
Jude Deveraux
Jamie Canosa
Warren Murphy
Todd-Michael St. Pierre