Read Online Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Jeff Kinney
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ticks me off is that Chris smokes at least a pack of cigarettes a day.
[Image: a girl holding a poster.] The Caption reads: " Don't Smoke. It's a joke."
167
Thursday
Me and Rowley decided to team up and do a cartoon together. So after school today he came over to my house, and we got to work.
[Image: a cartoon showing two boys making a cartoon.]
We banged out a bunch of characters real quick, but that turned out to be the easy part. When we tried to think up some jokes, we kind of hit a wall.
I finally came up with a good solution.
I made up a cartoon where the punch line of every strip is "Zoo-Wee Mama!"
That way we wouldn't get bogged down with having to write actual jokes, and we could concentrate on the pictures.
168
For the first couple of strips, I did the writing and drew the characters, and Rowley drew the boxes around the pictures.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " Step on a crack, break your momma's back!
Yeah, right.
Hey, Timmy, your mother slipped on a banana peel, and P.S. she is dead.
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
Rowley started complaining that he didn't have enough to do, so I let him write a few of the strips.
169
But to be honest with you, there was a pretty obvious drop in quality once Rowley started doing the writing.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " I have been waiting three hours to get a hamburger.
Finally! One hamburger, please!
I'm sorry, sir, we are all sold out.
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
Eventually I got kind of sick of the "Zoo-Wee Mama" idea and I pretty much let Rowley take over the whole operation.
170
And believe it or not, Rowley's drawing skills are worse than his writing skills.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " Oops I stepped in a puddle.
At least it's not an
acid
puddle.
Ay-ay-ay! It
is
an acid puddle!
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
I told Rowley maybe we should come up with some new ideas, but he just wanted to keep writing "Zoo-Wee Mamas." Then he packed up his comics and went home, which was fine by me. I don't really want to be partnered up with a kid who doesn't draw noses, anyway.
171
Friday
After Rowley left yesterday, I really got to work on some comics. I came up with this character called Creighton the Cretin, and I got on a roll.
Creighton the cretin by Greg Heffley
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boy.] The Caption reads: " Hi, my name is Creighton.
No it isn't. your name is "Stewart Pid."
Oops. Hi, I'm stew pid.
Har Har Har Har!"
172
I must've banged out twenty strips, and I didn't even break a sweat.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boy.] The Caption reads: " I wonder what is in this cute little box?
That's not a box, it's a brick, you dumb moron!
Oops. I have been trying to open it all day.
Doctor, could I have a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Creighton, I told you a million times, everyone's butt has a crack in it!
Oh Yeah, I forgot."
The great thing about these "Creighton the Cretin" comics is that with all the idiots running around my school, I will NEVER run out of new material.
173
When I got to school today, I took my comics to Mr. Ira's office. He's the teacher who runs the school newspaper.
But when I went to turn my strips in, I saw that there was a pile of comics from other kids who were trying out for the job.
Most of them were pretty bad, so I wasn't too worried about the competition.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the girls.] The Caption reads: " Girls rule! by Tabitha cutter and lisa russel
Don't walk near our lunch table, tyler green!
Yeah, you're not even cute!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Girls rule!"
174
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " X treme Sk8ers
I'm gonna do this rad jump.
Yo dude watch out for that telephone wire
What ever
Here I go
Darn slice
Bonk Ouch.
I shore am glad I wore my helmet.
The end"
One of the comics was called "Dumb Teachers," and it was written by this kid named Bill Tritt.
Bill is always in detention, so I guess
[Image: a girl holding a poster.] The Caption reads: " Don't Smoke. It's a joke."
167
Thursday
Me and Rowley decided to team up and do a cartoon together. So after school today he came over to my house, and we got to work.
[Image: a cartoon showing two boys making a cartoon.]
We banged out a bunch of characters real quick, but that turned out to be the easy part. When we tried to think up some jokes, we kind of hit a wall.
I finally came up with a good solution.
I made up a cartoon where the punch line of every strip is "Zoo-Wee Mama!"
That way we wouldn't get bogged down with having to write actual jokes, and we could concentrate on the pictures.
168
For the first couple of strips, I did the writing and drew the characters, and Rowley drew the boxes around the pictures.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " Step on a crack, break your momma's back!
Yeah, right.
Hey, Timmy, your mother slipped on a banana peel, and P.S. she is dead.
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
Rowley started complaining that he didn't have enough to do, so I let him write a few of the strips.
169
But to be honest with you, there was a pretty obvious drop in quality once Rowley started doing the writing.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " I have been waiting three hours to get a hamburger.
Finally! One hamburger, please!
I'm sorry, sir, we are all sold out.
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
Eventually I got kind of sick of the "Zoo-Wee Mama" idea and I pretty much let Rowley take over the whole operation.
170
And believe it or not, Rowley's drawing skills are worse than his writing skills.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " Oops I stepped in a puddle.
At least it's not an
acid
puddle.
Ay-ay-ay! It
is
an acid puddle!
Zoo-Wee Mama!"
I told Rowley maybe we should come up with some new ideas, but he just wanted to keep writing "Zoo-Wee Mamas." Then he packed up his comics and went home, which was fine by me. I don't really want to be partnered up with a kid who doesn't draw noses, anyway.
171
Friday
After Rowley left yesterday, I really got to work on some comics. I came up with this character called Creighton the Cretin, and I got on a roll.
Creighton the cretin by Greg Heffley
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boy.] The Caption reads: " Hi, my name is Creighton.
No it isn't. your name is "Stewart Pid."
Oops. Hi, I'm stew pid.
Har Har Har Har!"
172
I must've banged out twenty strips, and I didn't even break a sweat.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boy.] The Caption reads: " I wonder what is in this cute little box?
That's not a box, it's a brick, you dumb moron!
Oops. I have been trying to open it all day.
Doctor, could I have a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Creighton, I told you a million times, everyone's butt has a crack in it!
Oh Yeah, I forgot."
The great thing about these "Creighton the Cretin" comics is that with all the idiots running around my school, I will NEVER run out of new material.
173
When I got to school today, I took my comics to Mr. Ira's office. He's the teacher who runs the school newspaper.
But when I went to turn my strips in, I saw that there was a pile of comics from other kids who were trying out for the job.
Most of them were pretty bad, so I wasn't too worried about the competition.
[Image: cartoon drawn by the girls.] The Caption reads: " Girls rule! by Tabitha cutter and lisa russel
Don't walk near our lunch table, tyler green!
Yeah, you're not even cute!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Girls rule!"
174
[Image: cartoon drawn by the boys.] The Caption reads: " X treme Sk8ers
I'm gonna do this rad jump.
Yo dude watch out for that telephone wire
What ever
Here I go
Darn slice
Bonk Ouch.
I shore am glad I wore my helmet.
The end"
One of the comics was called "Dumb Teachers," and it was written by this kid named Bill Tritt.
Bill is always in detention, so I guess
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