Buddy who sent word to Dad that Bea
might be willing to marry if Dad would come down there and court her for a few
days and see how they liked each other.
On
another day we find out why Bea’s husband left her. She didn’t give him
any children. She reckons she can’t have any. Roxie and I are glad
to hear that. We love Clint, but it’s a big relief to know that he will
be the last of Dad’s babies we will have to take care of.
Samuel
is home for the winter. Today he’s out in the barn with Charles and
Daniel trying to make a sled. He gave me two more dollars for
Christmas. I have managed to hold on to the last two he gave me, and I
have hidden my four dollars away in a sock. This time he gave Roxie two
dollars too, and he also gave Dad some money when Bea was not looking.
I’m pretty sure he’s not going to give her anything.
Samuel
would never say or do mean things to anybody, but there is something about the
way he acts with Bea that says he does not like her. Maybe it’s because
he loved Mommie so much, and he thinks Dad was too quick to re-marry.
Daniel
is taking a nap, and I try to get Clint to sleep too. He is a sweet happy
baby. I sit by the window with him on his belly across my knees. I
bounce him easy and rub his back. It’s a thing Trula used to do for Jewel
and Daniel.
It
seems the days have slowed down to a crawl, and the hours stand still. I
look out at the patch of woods by Willy’s Road and think of the old, old thing
that hides there and cries. It is sleeping today under mounds of snow,
its tears frozen to the earth.
Beyond
the road I see the mountain tops going on and on toward West Virginia. I
imagine that people who live in cities would think me lucky to have such a view
as this. And it really is pretty, but I don’t feel lucky. I feel
isolated. I think of the big round world out there with so much to see
and learn. People with things to do and places to go in cars and
trains. I am so far away I might as well be on another planet – a cold,
white planet.
I
wonder what Nell is doing today. Even though she is almost a prisoner in
the sanitorium, she writes that she is glad now to be there. She is
happy. There is a patient who was a teacher before he got T.B., and he
helps her and Helen keep up with their school lessons. Nell thinks if she
is at the sanitorium long enough, she can finish her highschool courses and
then train to be a nurse’s aide. Imagine it. She can have a job if
she wants it, and make her own money. She does not mention coming home
anymore, and it’s a good thing, because it seems like Dad has forgotten her
existence. He never writes to her and does not even ask me and Roxie what
she has to say in her letters to us.
I
think of Trula in her little house with her baby. Is Mack with them today?
Is she happy? Does she ever think of me? Is there still room in her
heart for Lorelei?
Then
the brown-eyed peddler crosses my mind. Where is he today? Is it
snowing there? Does he have somebody to keep him warm? Is that old
horse still alive?
For
some silly reason I get tears in my eyes.
Seven
March, 1922
It’s
time for Samuel to go back to Richmond, and I dread it.
“I
know Lucille will be happy,” I say to him, “but I’m going to miss you.”
He
smiles at me, but says nothing.
He
has not mentioned her much this time, and he still has not told anybody else
about her. My curiosity nearly kills me. I’ve noticed that he does
not get letters from her either, and I have tried not to bring it up, but now I
can’t help myself.
“Have
you written to her?” I ask.
He
smiles again, pats my head and says, “You ask too many questions.”
“I’m
sorry, Samuel, but you did confide in me, and I’m nearly dying to know
more. Are you still courting her, or did you bust up?”
“Don’t
worry, Lorelei honey, if I decide to marry, you will be the first to know.”
The
next day he’s on
might be willing to marry if Dad would come down there and court her for a few
days and see how they liked each other.
On
another day we find out why Bea’s husband left her. She didn’t give him
any children. She reckons she can’t have any. Roxie and I are glad
to hear that. We love Clint, but it’s a big relief to know that he will
be the last of Dad’s babies we will have to take care of.
Samuel
is home for the winter. Today he’s out in the barn with Charles and
Daniel trying to make a sled. He gave me two more dollars for
Christmas. I have managed to hold on to the last two he gave me, and I
have hidden my four dollars away in a sock. This time he gave Roxie two
dollars too, and he also gave Dad some money when Bea was not looking.
I’m pretty sure he’s not going to give her anything.
Samuel
would never say or do mean things to anybody, but there is something about the
way he acts with Bea that says he does not like her. Maybe it’s because
he loved Mommie so much, and he thinks Dad was too quick to re-marry.
Daniel
is taking a nap, and I try to get Clint to sleep too. He is a sweet happy
baby. I sit by the window with him on his belly across my knees. I
bounce him easy and rub his back. It’s a thing Trula used to do for Jewel
and Daniel.
It
seems the days have slowed down to a crawl, and the hours stand still. I
look out at the patch of woods by Willy’s Road and think of the old, old thing
that hides there and cries. It is sleeping today under mounds of snow,
its tears frozen to the earth.
Beyond
the road I see the mountain tops going on and on toward West Virginia. I
imagine that people who live in cities would think me lucky to have such a view
as this. And it really is pretty, but I don’t feel lucky. I feel
isolated. I think of the big round world out there with so much to see
and learn. People with things to do and places to go in cars and
trains. I am so far away I might as well be on another planet – a cold,
white planet.
I
wonder what Nell is doing today. Even though she is almost a prisoner in
the sanitorium, she writes that she is glad now to be there. She is
happy. There is a patient who was a teacher before he got T.B., and he
helps her and Helen keep up with their school lessons. Nell thinks if she
is at the sanitorium long enough, she can finish her highschool courses and
then train to be a nurse’s aide. Imagine it. She can have a job if
she wants it, and make her own money. She does not mention coming home
anymore, and it’s a good thing, because it seems like Dad has forgotten her
existence. He never writes to her and does not even ask me and Roxie what
she has to say in her letters to us.
I
think of Trula in her little house with her baby. Is Mack with them today?
Is she happy? Does she ever think of me? Is there still room in her
heart for Lorelei?
Then
the brown-eyed peddler crosses my mind. Where is he today? Is it
snowing there? Does he have somebody to keep him warm? Is that old
horse still alive?
For
some silly reason I get tears in my eyes.
Seven
March, 1922
It’s
time for Samuel to go back to Richmond, and I dread it.
“I
know Lucille will be happy,” I say to him, “but I’m going to miss you.”
He
smiles at me, but says nothing.
He
has not mentioned her much this time, and he still has not told anybody else
about her. My curiosity nearly kills me. I’ve noticed that he does
not get letters from her either, and I have tried not to bring it up, but now I
can’t help myself.
“Have
you written to her?” I ask.
He
smiles again, pats my head and says, “You ask too many questions.”
“I’m
sorry, Samuel, but you did confide in me, and I’m nearly dying to know
more. Are you still courting her, or did you bust up?”
“Don’t
worry, Lorelei honey, if I decide to marry, you will be the first to know.”
The
next day he’s on
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