about is Toph. Short for Chris-toph-er. How could AS levels possibly compete? He looked so pissed off when he was trying to put drunk me into a taxi. I need to get a new rep and I need to get one fast.
21st May Poppy absolutely refuses to be drawn in to any conversation about Jesse’s band and the boys in it and if I question her too closely then she’ll know that I kinda, sorta, maybe like Toph and make my life a living hell.
‘What do you want to know about them for?’ she demanded when I asked if they were rehearsing. ‘You’ve already been kicked out of one band and I don’t think they have any vacancies for guitarists who, y’know, can’t actually play the guitar.’ I hope she chokes on Jesse’s tongue next time they kiss.
25th May Revision. Boring. Boring. Boring.
28th May I saw Toph in town today as I was walking very slowly in the direction of the library. He was coming out of the indie coffee shop so I casually followed him (I was practically going in that direction anyway) and he went into this trendy building where all these web firms and design consultancies are. So I guess he, like, works there or something. He was wearing a khaki shirt and jeans and high tops and this cute little beanie, which probably meant that he hadn’t washed his hair but it was a good look.
30th May I have to go out tonight because if I see one more mock exam question my head will implode. I could go out with Marianne but then I’ll end up drinking and getting off with someone. And if I go out with Atsuko I’ll get drunk and end up getting off with someone. I even thought about calling Darby and Jack who are still acting like some freaky version of love’s young dream but I wasn’t quite that desperate. So I phoned Dylan and although he sounded weirded out that I was calling him and managing to speak in whole sentences without getting tongue-tied, he said he was going to this art exhibition with some people from his course and I could tag along. He’s sweet. No wonder I used to have such a crush on him!
1st June The whole point of going out with Dylan was so he’d act like a surrogate elder brother but it all went wrong. For starters, the art exhibition was really, really rude. I mean, post-watershed, strictly adult content, fullfrontal nudity rude. I didn’t know where to put myself. I was so embarrassed and Dylan was embarrassed and all like, ‘Maybe you should go and sit in the bar.’ So I went and sat in the bar and there was free wine and it tasted like a paintstripper but it was something to do that didn’t involve looking at people’s bare bits.
An hour later and the art porn no longer posed a threat. I staggered around trying to find Dylan when I saw a beanie hat that looked vaguely familiar. It was attached to a Toph-shaped boy who was studying a photograph of a close-up of a nipple. At least I think it was a nipple. I could see Dylan bearing down on me with a dismayed expression on his face as I lurched into a sculpture but he was too slow. My feet were moving in the direction of Toph and there was nothing I could do about it.
‘Hi Toph,’ I said a touch too loudly and he looked at me and frowned. That should have been enough to stop me but the frown just made his nose wrinkle up in this cute way and then my voice was saying, ‘Cool nipple. I bet you have cool nipples ’cause you’re really cool so your body parts must be cool too even…’
And then Dylan was there and I never got to finish my sentence. Not that it would have made much difference. The start of the sentence was horrific enough. All the way home, Dylan lectured me about drinking and my immature behaviour but all I could think about was the withering look on Toph’s face as Dylan dragged me away.
2nd June It’s all right. Everything is going to be all right. I’ve just managed to find Toph’s number on Poppy’s phone and I’m going to text him and apologise. It will be all right. ‘hi, it’s