Read Online Dial L for Loser by Lisi Harrison - Free Book Online Page A

at home with the girls.
    Friday: Lunch with the girls at Dad’s golf club, then snack shopping for Friday night sleepover.
    The girls are here now and everyone says hi. How is school? Any tests?
    Have fun! We know we will.
    Love, Your Pretty Committee
    MASSIE        DYLAN
    Claire       KRISTEN       Alicia
    *Photos by Claire Lyons.
    “What’s with the whole ‘you-know-what from you-know-who’?” Claire asked. “What did you get?”
    “Nothing,” Massie smirked. “I made that up.”
    “You made it all up, didn’t you?” Alicia asked.
    “Well, do you remember shopping with Abby?”
    “No.”
    “We’re fighting a war here.” Massie selected her newsletter-distribution list, and sixty-seven names appeared in her address bar. “Imagine going back to OCD and finding Da Crew at our lunch table. Or the Country Club under our tree.” She hit send.
    “That is,
if
we get back to school.” Kristen threw down her
Philosophy for Dummies
book.
    “Can I try these prunes?” Dylan poked the cellophane on a fruit-and-nut basket.
    “Puuurp,” Alicia teased, making a farting noise with her mouth.
    Dylan slapped the back of her pink sweats. “Quiet down there.”
    “Ew!” Massie giggled. “Go for it.” She flipped onto her stomach and began applying a fresh coat of Naughty Navy. Bean curled up beside her leg.
    “I can’t believe you’re using Abby’s nail polish color after what she did to Hadley.” Kristen snapped the elastic band on her gray boy shorts.
    “Oh, did Abby have this polish?” Massie widened her amber eyes.
    “You didn’t notice?”
    “Nope.” She dipped the brush and swished it around.
    “Then why are you suddenly wearing navy?”
    “I, um, got it in a gift basket.”
    “Whatevs.” Kristen rolled her eyes.
    “When did you start caring about Hadley anyway?” Alicia unrolled her puffy gold sleeping bag beside Massie’s.
    “I just feel bad for her. It’s gotta suck having your boyfriend stolen.”
    “Funny.” Dylan chewed a prune. “I thought you’d be on Abby’s side because you both have such ‘sophisticated’ short hairdos.” She lifted her mass of red curls and stumbled around the room like a runway model with a broken heel.
    “Ow-chhh!” Her performance was cut short when she accidentally stepped in a bowl of Baked Lays. A prune chunk flew out of her mouth and landed on Massie’s white duvet cover. “These chips are like razor blades!”
    Kristen let out a cackle.
    “Ew, Dylan.” Massie didn’t know whether to laugh or barf. “Clean that up.”
    “Sorry.” She giggled on her way to the bathroom.
    Bing.
    “Massie, your computer.” Claire jumped to her feet and pushed back the sleeves on her Powerpuff Girls pj’s.
    “Coming.” Massie blew on her wet nails.
    “It’s Derrington!” Claire yelled. “SHORTZ4LIFE has invited you to an iChat. Should I respond?”
    “Not if you like your arms in their sockets,” Massie snapped.
    “Hurry!” Claire bounced.
    Massie pushed her aside and grabbed the wireless mouse.
    “Is Josh with them?” Alicia padded over to the desk.
    “Gawd, are you a couple of bulls?” Massie asked, shaking the mouse into place.
    “No,” Claire and Alicia said at the same time.
    “Then why are you acting so horny?”
    Massie finger-combed her extensions and searched her desk for a tube of Glossip Girl. She knocked Fettuccine Alfredo to the floor, grabbed Brown Sugar, and gave her lips a quick swipe.
    “Kristen, grab a bunch of those vases and put them behind me.”
    “I can’t right now.” Kristen was struggling with her tangled jeans. “I don’t want them to see me in my underwear.”
    “Alicia!”
    “In a sec,” she called from Massie’s vanity, where she was braiding her hair like Hadley’s.
    “I got it.” Claire’s arms were full of bouquets and gift baskets.
    Once the area behind Massie was suitably packed with baskets, balloons, and flowers, Massie adjusted the webcam on top of her monitor, then