Read Online Destroy by Jason Myers - Free Book Online Page B

think you do. I don’t think you call.”
    â€œWell, I haven’t for a little while.”
    â€œSo what the hell are you asking me a question like that for?” I say, zipping my pants back up and moving to the sink to wash my hands.
    â€œBecause I used to. A lot. And you never tried to get in touch with me.”
    â€œWell, I have a lot of things going on. You know this, lady. My life is super hectic. Sometimes phone calls fall between the cracks.”
    â€œFuck that. You haven’t even come out with anything new.”
    Whipping around from the sink, I say, “Fuck you, Kat. You’re gonna come at me about my writing now?”
    â€œNo,” she says, very defensively.
    â€œIt sounds like you are.”
    â€œI’m only trying to point out how you’re not doing anything new right now, so when you use the whole, ‘Woe is me. My life is super hectic at the moment, excuse me for blowing people off,’ no one is buying it.”
    â€œYou don’t know what you’re talking about.”
    â€œYes I do, James.”
    â€œWhat the hell are you doing with your life?” I ask. “Cutting hair at MasterCuts.”
    â€œGood one, James. I’m actually at Edo in the Lower Haight now. Maybe you should come in and get a touch-up.”
    â€œI would never let you touch my hair.” Quick pause. “And you know what else?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI’m just getting started with my writing.”
    â€œRight. Keep telling yourself that. If it makes you feel better, then go for it, but everyone else can see what I’m talking about. Everyone talks about it behind your back, James. How you’ve wrapped your entire identity into the fact that you wrote a book and got published, but now that people are expecting something better, you’ve decided to distract yourself with all this pseudo celebrity because you’re scared to do something else. You’re afraid to write. You’re scared of your own words because you’re not writing to write anymore, you’re trying to write to maintain your status.”
    â€œFuck you!” I scream so hard a line of drool blows out of my mouth. “You have no right to say what you just said. You do not know what it’s like to destroy yourself over a story. To put everything you have into something and then allow the world to see what’s inside of you. Toreally strive to write something that means shit to people. It fucking hurts, and sometimes it’s hard to do it all over again.”
    â€œDon’t yell at me,” Kat snaps. “I’m not the only one who thinks this. I’m only one of the people who has the guts to say it to your face.”
    â€œOh yeah?” I tell her.
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œHow about this, Kat?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œI hate you. Okay? I fucking hate your cunt ass right now. I hate you.”
    I fly out of the bathroom, down the hallway, and bump into Daniel.
    â€œYo, you doing all right?” he asks.
    â€œI’m fine. What’s up with you?”
    â€œWe’re all gonna go over to Sebastian’s and hang out until Zeitgeist opens. Then we’re gonna have some Bloody Marys there, and maybe even hit up Amoeba later. You coming?”
    â€œI’m gonna go home,” I tell him, patting his shoulder.
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œYeah, man. It’s been a long day, and I’d like to make it home before sunrise.”
    â€œYou sure you’re all right?”
    â€œI’m fine. I’m just tired is all. Long day. Long night.”
    â€œOkay, dude. But call me tomorrow or something. Or maybe the day after tomorrow. I might be sleeping by the afternoon.”
    â€œI hope you are,” I tell him, then make my way out of the apartment and hit the street just as a cab is pulling up to a stoplight.
    â€œNineteenth and Valencia,” I say, after climbing in.
    â€œSure thing, pal.”
    I drop my