gift. And I told myself that another good thing about Wyldcliffe was that I would never have to see Dr. Franzen again.
But there he was, tap-tap-tapping his way into the Abbey like a crippled devil, ready to send me back to hell.And there was no one, not my sisters, or my mother, and certainly not a charming music student, who could protect me from him.
All I wanted to do was run.
Thirteen
F ROM THE D IARY OF H ELEN B LACK
O CTOBER 7
White wings, take me far away,
Take me where the wind blows free.
High, high in the stars I climb,
And the secret, silent spirit
Of the world’s heart enfolds me;
Like a breath,
Like a mother’s embrace.
I have been thinking endlessly, fighting myself and my fears. It would be cowardly to run away from Dr. Franzen. My mother ran away from the Seal and all that it meant, and she was left with an empty memento of what might have been. I don’t wantto make the same mistake.
I desperately want to get away from Wyldcliffe, but I won’t go until I know that my sisters are truly safe. Dr. Franzen cannot treat them as he treated me when I was under his “care,” but my mother’s fate must be resolved before I can leave them here. And there is another task waiting for me. Laura.
Sarah and Evie have vowed to release her and break the spells that keep her as a Bondsoul. But the guilt of Laura’s fate is all mine, just as my shame over your fate, Wanderer, is my own private burden. I can’t do anything to help you now, but if I can reach out to Laura, perhaps that will pay off some of my debt. I should have thought of helping her before. You see how selfish I have been, wrapped up in my own thoughts and dreams? I won’t let Evie and Sarah take any more risks, though. I have to persuade them that I can do this myself.
Laura, my mother, my sisters. When they are safe, when all this is done, I will finally run from this place. When that day comes, I will start again, alone, and find my destiny.
“I can do this by myself,” I said. “I’m sure I can find Laura.”
“Alone?” Sarah asked in disbelief. “But what about our Circle? You can’t make the Circle on your own.”
“I might not need the Circle,” I said awkwardly. “I just want to try. I don’t want you two to risk anything, andbesides, it was my fault that Laura was taken. I should be the one to put things right.”
“But wouldn’t it be better for us to work together, like we’ve always done?” asked Evie, looking puzzled.
“It will be easier if you let me do this myself,” I pleaded. “The quicker I find Laura and let her go, the quicker I can—”
“What?” asked Sarah.
“The quicker I can forgive myself, I suppose.” I shrugged.
“It wasn’t your fault, Helen, what happened to Laura,” Evie said softly.
“But I was there when the coven sucked her soul. I could have stopped it!”
“You didn’t know what they were going to do,” Sarah said. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself.”
“Yes, I know, I know, we’ve been through all that already,” I replied. “But she’s my responsibility all the same.”
“We all feel a responsibility for Laura,” Evie answered. “That’s why we’re all here, to share things. You don’t have to carry that burden on your own anymore, Helen.”
Despite my attempts to persuade my friends to let me look for Laura by myself, I was touched by their determination to stick with me. But I wasn’t going to let thatchange things. “Look,” I said in a reasonable voice, “just let me try. If it doesn’t work, then okay, we’ll cast the Circle and see what we can do together. But if it does work, Laura will be safe and I’ll feel as though I’ve paid back what I owe her. So we’ll all be happy. You can’t argue with that, can you?”
They didn’t try, to my relief, though I saw the hurt in their eyes that I didn’t want to do this with them. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with Sarah and Evie. It wasn’t even that I had a
But there he was, tap-tap-tapping his way into the Abbey like a crippled devil, ready to send me back to hell.And there was no one, not my sisters, or my mother, and certainly not a charming music student, who could protect me from him.
All I wanted to do was run.
Thirteen
F ROM THE D IARY OF H ELEN B LACK
O CTOBER 7
White wings, take me far away,
Take me where the wind blows free.
High, high in the stars I climb,
And the secret, silent spirit
Of the world’s heart enfolds me;
Like a breath,
Like a mother’s embrace.
I have been thinking endlessly, fighting myself and my fears. It would be cowardly to run away from Dr. Franzen. My mother ran away from the Seal and all that it meant, and she was left with an empty memento of what might have been. I don’t wantto make the same mistake.
I desperately want to get away from Wyldcliffe, but I won’t go until I know that my sisters are truly safe. Dr. Franzen cannot treat them as he treated me when I was under his “care,” but my mother’s fate must be resolved before I can leave them here. And there is another task waiting for me. Laura.
Sarah and Evie have vowed to release her and break the spells that keep her as a Bondsoul. But the guilt of Laura’s fate is all mine, just as my shame over your fate, Wanderer, is my own private burden. I can’t do anything to help you now, but if I can reach out to Laura, perhaps that will pay off some of my debt. I should have thought of helping her before. You see how selfish I have been, wrapped up in my own thoughts and dreams? I won’t let Evie and Sarah take any more risks, though. I have to persuade them that I can do this myself.
Laura, my mother, my sisters. When they are safe, when all this is done, I will finally run from this place. When that day comes, I will start again, alone, and find my destiny.
“I can do this by myself,” I said. “I’m sure I can find Laura.”
“Alone?” Sarah asked in disbelief. “But what about our Circle? You can’t make the Circle on your own.”
“I might not need the Circle,” I said awkwardly. “I just want to try. I don’t want you two to risk anything, andbesides, it was my fault that Laura was taken. I should be the one to put things right.”
“But wouldn’t it be better for us to work together, like we’ve always done?” asked Evie, looking puzzled.
“It will be easier if you let me do this myself,” I pleaded. “The quicker I find Laura and let her go, the quicker I can—”
“What?” asked Sarah.
“The quicker I can forgive myself, I suppose.” I shrugged.
“It wasn’t your fault, Helen, what happened to Laura,” Evie said softly.
“But I was there when the coven sucked her soul. I could have stopped it!”
“You didn’t know what they were going to do,” Sarah said. “You’ve got to stop blaming yourself.”
“Yes, I know, I know, we’ve been through all that already,” I replied. “But she’s my responsibility all the same.”
“We all feel a responsibility for Laura,” Evie answered. “That’s why we’re all here, to share things. You don’t have to carry that burden on your own anymore, Helen.”
Despite my attempts to persuade my friends to let me look for Laura by myself, I was touched by their determination to stick with me. But I wasn’t going to let thatchange things. “Look,” I said in a reasonable voice, “just let me try. If it doesn’t work, then okay, we’ll cast the Circle and see what we can do together. But if it does work, Laura will be safe and I’ll feel as though I’ve paid back what I owe her. So we’ll all be happy. You can’t argue with that, can you?”
They didn’t try, to my relief, though I saw the hurt in their eyes that I didn’t want to do this with them. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with Sarah and Evie. It wasn’t even that I had a
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