Phoebe bought me for Mother’s Day.
“I’ve come to fetch my kids, so please, shut the fuck up and bring them out to me.”
Her response is to step out of the house and shut the door behind her. “No can do, whore. So, since you’ve got some time, why don’t you run along to births, death, and marriage registry and change your surname. Both of us can’t be Mrs. Murdoch.”
“Like hell I’m going to change my surname for you.”
“Why not, Other Woman? This town ain’t big enough for two Mrs. –”
“I’m not the other woman. You are. As for the whore, next time you stand before your umpteen mirrors in my house, take a good look at the whore staring back at you. Now get my kids, will you?” Childish volley of insults, but it’s Scarlett I’m talking to, so I have to do as the Romans do.
“The kids are not here, so why don’t you make like a banana and split, bitch?”
“You’re skating on thin ice here. You should realize that by now.” My voice is threatening.
“Who gives a fuck about ice? Not only am I a damn good skater, but I happen to be a mighty fine swimmer too. If the ice breaks, no problemo; I can handle it. Now you , you should be the one who is concerned.”
I stand, arms akimbo. “About what?”
“Well, let’s just say I always win at Monopoly, charades, Twister, egg and fucking spoon – you name it, I win it.”
I fold my arms across my chest and smile. “What about sack race? Bet you always win at that too?”
“I win at everything, bitch.”
“Is that a fact?”
“It sure is. Here’s another fact – I was runner up in Australian Survivors. ”
“Wow, I’m impressed.” My head bobs. “Seriously.”
“The man who beat me, the one who came first, he was a cancer survivor. So, the fuckers rigged the game to make him win for publicity’s sake. That’s the only reason I was placed second.”
“Ahhhh! Now, that is some fact. Intriguing, even.”
Her smile dips at my sarcasm. “Here’s another fact; you stole my book and you published it.”
I jerk back. Is she recording this conversation? “Why Scarlett, whatever do you mean?”
“I want it back,” she says through clenched teeth.
I smile; she doesn’t. If she’s wearing a wire, I hope to God she gets… electrocuted . Somehow.
I chuckle. “What I don’t understand is, you’re pretty smart, intelligent even. Why don’t you use your skills to bring about good in the world? Use it to help others? Why do you use your skills to do perform dark, evil deeds?”
“Why? I’ll tell you why, you simpleton – it is to keep people like you in line, or you’d have an unfair advantage over those of us like me.”
“How? How did I have an unfair advantage? I was married to a simple, loving, family man, and I was a mother of two little children doing my best for them. I had mental issues, true, but they were under control. You, on the other hand, you were vibrant, intelligent, and a go-getter. Why come after me ? I don’t get it.”
“Why? Because you had a rock that, under a little pressure and intense heat, would become a diamond. Flawless. I wanted that diamond. That’s why.”
“I see. Well, okay…so now that you have your intense heat and pressure, how’s it working out for you? You happy?”
“As happy as Pharrell Williams.” She pushes both palms to the ceiling. “Like a room without a roof.”
I jerk my head around. “And where is your diamond right now?”
There is a short silence before her eyes narrow. “You don’t take on someone like me and win. I will be the winner. Again. In fact, you don’t take on someone like me, period.”
“Oh yeah?”
She nods.
“Well,” I scratch the side of my nose with a fingernail, “in the past, in Australian Survivor, you weren’t number one, you were number two.” I smile. “That’s what you will always be, Annie ; you will always be a number two to me. A big, fat, disgusting piece of number two.”
Her smile vanishes.
“While
“I’ve come to fetch my kids, so please, shut the fuck up and bring them out to me.”
Her response is to step out of the house and shut the door behind her. “No can do, whore. So, since you’ve got some time, why don’t you run along to births, death, and marriage registry and change your surname. Both of us can’t be Mrs. Murdoch.”
“Like hell I’m going to change my surname for you.”
“Why not, Other Woman? This town ain’t big enough for two Mrs. –”
“I’m not the other woman. You are. As for the whore, next time you stand before your umpteen mirrors in my house, take a good look at the whore staring back at you. Now get my kids, will you?” Childish volley of insults, but it’s Scarlett I’m talking to, so I have to do as the Romans do.
“The kids are not here, so why don’t you make like a banana and split, bitch?”
“You’re skating on thin ice here. You should realize that by now.” My voice is threatening.
“Who gives a fuck about ice? Not only am I a damn good skater, but I happen to be a mighty fine swimmer too. If the ice breaks, no problemo; I can handle it. Now you , you should be the one who is concerned.”
I stand, arms akimbo. “About what?”
“Well, let’s just say I always win at Monopoly, charades, Twister, egg and fucking spoon – you name it, I win it.”
I fold my arms across my chest and smile. “What about sack race? Bet you always win at that too?”
“I win at everything, bitch.”
“Is that a fact?”
“It sure is. Here’s another fact – I was runner up in Australian Survivors. ”
“Wow, I’m impressed.” My head bobs. “Seriously.”
“The man who beat me, the one who came first, he was a cancer survivor. So, the fuckers rigged the game to make him win for publicity’s sake. That’s the only reason I was placed second.”
“Ahhhh! Now, that is some fact. Intriguing, even.”
Her smile dips at my sarcasm. “Here’s another fact; you stole my book and you published it.”
I jerk back. Is she recording this conversation? “Why Scarlett, whatever do you mean?”
“I want it back,” she says through clenched teeth.
I smile; she doesn’t. If she’s wearing a wire, I hope to God she gets… electrocuted . Somehow.
I chuckle. “What I don’t understand is, you’re pretty smart, intelligent even. Why don’t you use your skills to bring about good in the world? Use it to help others? Why do you use your skills to do perform dark, evil deeds?”
“Why? I’ll tell you why, you simpleton – it is to keep people like you in line, or you’d have an unfair advantage over those of us like me.”
“How? How did I have an unfair advantage? I was married to a simple, loving, family man, and I was a mother of two little children doing my best for them. I had mental issues, true, but they were under control. You, on the other hand, you were vibrant, intelligent, and a go-getter. Why come after me ? I don’t get it.”
“Why? Because you had a rock that, under a little pressure and intense heat, would become a diamond. Flawless. I wanted that diamond. That’s why.”
“I see. Well, okay…so now that you have your intense heat and pressure, how’s it working out for you? You happy?”
“As happy as Pharrell Williams.” She pushes both palms to the ceiling. “Like a room without a roof.”
I jerk my head around. “And where is your diamond right now?”
There is a short silence before her eyes narrow. “You don’t take on someone like me and win. I will be the winner. Again. In fact, you don’t take on someone like me, period.”
“Oh yeah?”
She nods.
“Well,” I scratch the side of my nose with a fingernail, “in the past, in Australian Survivor, you weren’t number one, you were number two.” I smile. “That’s what you will always be, Annie ; you will always be a number two to me. A big, fat, disgusting piece of number two.”
Her smile vanishes.
“While
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