Read Online Defining Us: The Calvin & Eric Story (69 Bottles) by Zoey Derrick - Free Book Online Page A

matter, but you have got to tell him. Let him make that choice, Mouse. You cannot make it for him.”  
    I give her a sad smile and nod.  
    She comes over to stand in front of me. She grabs my chin, raising my head up so that I can look at her. “I’m here for you, so is everyone else on this bus.”  
    I close my eyes. “I know, but now is the wrong time.”  
    “No time like the present.”  
    “True, but you see,” she releases my chin and I open my eyes, “He needs to be able to escape from me and right now, he can’t do that. He needs to be able to walk away, to think, to process, to come to grips with what he will hear. I feel like if I tell him right now, it won’t be a good thing.”  
    “Then tell him on break.”  
    I shake my head. “Too much, we have to be back together again too soon after.”  
    She crosses her arms over her chest. “Is this something that’s going to break up the band?” Her voice is hard, but she isn’t angry, she needs answers.  
    I stand up and she backs away from me. “God, I hope not. I don’t understand why things would be any different after I tell him. He’s either going to accept it or he’s not. If he accepts it, the dynamic between him and I changes. If he doesn’t accept it, things go back to exactly the way they were before. We’re friends and nothing more.” Though I say the words, I don’t feel their conviction and Addison can sense that.  
    “Then the sooner you tell him, the better. Let him decide for himself.”  
    I nod and sit back down. I’d gotten up for a reason, but now it’s pointless.  
    Addison drops the subject when Kyle comes on board, followed quickly by Talon and a very stoic looking Dex.  
    I quickly pack up my guitar and put it into the bench seat cubby and climb into my bunk. Dex and Raine moved back into the private room, so Mouse, Victoria and I share the three racks. I slide into the bottom one, pulling the curtain closed and putting my headphones in.  
    I know the moment Eric comes on board because my body comes alive. My hair stands on end, and for the first time, desire courses through my veins without revulsion to chase it away. Hope blossoms as I hash out a plan.

CALVIN hasn’t said much to me since Orlando. The Miami show went great, surprising considering I felt so disconnected from Calvin while on stage.
    I noticed a change in him when we got off the bus at the Miami hotel. He was different, but it wasn’t something I could put my thumb on. When we got to our PR event that night, it was like nothing had transpired between us in Orlando. In fact, it was just like it had always been between us and with the band. Once I caught on to his demeanor, it made it easier for me to slip right back into my own little bubble of being the band’s bassist. We were right back to the way things have always been. The next morning brings us to an appearance at a radio station before our flight home. Everything goes as expected, except for whenever I steal a glance at Calvin and he catches me. Today I get a small smile in return. That’s new, and it just adds to my confusion and frustration with him. When I catch him glancing at me, I find it harder than I thought to return the sentiment.
    By the time we are on board of our plane to Los Angeles, there’s not a lot of conversation going on and the silence is a bit uncomfortable. Eventually, I doze off.

    “We’re landing.” Calvin’s voice wakes me. He moved to sit next to me. Odd.  
    “Yeah, already?” I say sleepily.  
    “Yup, almost home.” His voice is lighter than it has been. I sit up, stretching and running a hand through my hair before fixing the ponytail.  
    A full five minutes passes before either one of us manages to say anything. It’s him who breaks the silence. “What are you doing tonight?” he asks.  
    “Uh, unpacking, doing laundry, enjoying my own shower for an hour.”  
    “So in other words, nothing?”  
    I roll my head in his direction.