Read Online Deep Surrendering: Episode Six by Chelsea M. Cameron - Free Book Online

around her waist. “Yeah, right back at you.”
     

     
    I left my phone off during the movies, and I had a message from Dad, but I didn’t listen to it until I got back to my apartment.
    My hand shook a little as I held the phone to my ear. All the calm I’d had a little while ago looking at the jellyfish was gone.
    The message was brief, saying that he would love to donate, and for me to know how much he should write the check out for. That was it. Nothing else. Since he left the message just a little while ago, he was probably still home, or maybe Mom was, so I called back.
    She answered.
    “Hi, Mom.”
    “Hello, Marisol.” Her voice was sharp and clipped as usual. This actually comforted me.
    “Hi, I just wanted to call and give you the amount for the charity.” Good thing I had a reason for calling, and I didn’t have to make one up.
    “Oh, yes. How much?” She definitely sounded as if she was either in the middle of something or she didn’t want to talk. Or both, as was usually the case.
    “It’s two hundred a plate for the dinner.”
    She made a little sighing noise. “And what’s the charity again?”
    “Leukemia.” She couldn’t really say no to that.
    I heard her scribbling on the other end. Probably writing it out as we spoke.
    “I can come pick it up right now, if you want. Then you won’t have to worry about it,” I said quickly.
    She made a noncommittal sound. This was like trying to have a conversation with a nonverbal cavewoman. But at least she wasn’t insulting me.
    “Your father and I have a dinner tonight. You can come get it if you want, but we won’t be here.”
    Damn.
    “Oh, okay.”
    “We can leave it for you in the ornamental box in the foyer. I really have to go get ready now.” Her voice was completely devoid of emotion. It was usually like that unless she was upset, but I just hoped … I always hoped she’d magically change and be the mother I always wanted. It was a hope that I wasn’t sure would ever completely die.
    “Sure. Thanks so much. Have a good time. Say hi to Dad for me.”
    She hung up without another word and I stared at my phone. I wasn’t going to cry. I had a great day with Chloe, and I wasn’t going to let this ruin it. I grabbed my keys, purse, and headed back out the door.
    There was somewhere I needed to go.

M aybe going to Fin’s apartment while having so many conflicting thoughts about him wasn’t the best idea. But his place was a sanctuary. Surrounded by his things, I felt the same as when I looked at the jellyfish. Deep calm.
    I walked from room to room, finally ending in his bedroom. I turned off the lights except for the enchanted chandelier, and sat on the floor. To my left was the drawer that he’d freaked out about. I pulled it open slowly and peeked in. Yup, everything was still there.
    The blindfold, the rope, the other instruments of his sexual preferences. I ran my fingers over them carefully, as if they’d bite me. But of course they didn’t. They only intrigued me. We’d done some of these things, but I knew from a little internet research that we could go much deeper.
    I stood up and went to his closet, to the dresser where he said he kept some of his other things. The drawer wasn’t locked, and I figured if he didn’t want me to know about it, he wouldn’t have told me.
    After a brief walk through, touching his suits and shirts and ties and smelling his scent, I opened the drawer.
    Oh. Well now. There were a lot of things that I didn’t recognize, and some things I did. But there were no knives, no chains, no instruments of torture. Just pleasure. Well, I supposed if you used them correctly. Anything could be a weapon if you tried hard enough. The drawer was lined with silk, and I brushed my hand over some of the items. They were all clean and well-cared for. I wondered how much use they’d gotten. I looked for a few more seconds and then closed the drawer.
    Nothing scary in there. In fact, my skin tingled as I