carpark, Alyssa held one of Phoebe’s hands and, at Phoebe’s demand, I held the other. I couldn’t believe how small and warm Phoebe’s hands were as her fingers curled around mine.
“So do you want to line up?” Alyssa asked. “Or shall I?”
I shook my head. “It’s five-star all the way tonight.”
She laughed. “Five-star? At McDonald’s?”
“Well, as five-star as Macca’s can be. Come on, this way.”
I led her through to the kids’ party room. This had all been arranged with the manager when I called from the tattoo parlour. I pushed open the door and smiled when I saw everything was done to perfection. The long table was covered with a crisp white tablecloth and was adorned by a vase containing a dozen red roses. We’d barely sat when the waiter brought out our meals. I wasn’t sure what Alyssa ate now, but I knew McChickens had always been her favourite so I’d ordered one of those for her and a chicken nugget Happy Meal for Phoebe.
“Kid friendly and romantic,” I said triumphantly, indicating the room with my hands.
“Very good,” Alyssa said with a growing smile. “You seem to have considered everything.” She chuckled as if thinking there was something blatant that I’d missed.
“I don’t want chicken nuggets,” Phoebe complained.
Alyssa giggled again.
“What would you like then?” I asked.
“Pizza.”
“They don’t have pizza here, sweetie,” Alyssa explained. “Declan was kind enough to bring us to dinner. I’m sure you can have chicken nuggets just this once.”
Phoebe shook her head and started to whine a little. I felt my perfect night slipping away faster than my V8 could get off the line.
“Is there anything else you want?” I asked. “A burger maybe?”
She nodded. “Yep. Burger.”
I called our waiter back again and asked for a cheeseburger for Phoebe. After it was placed in front of her she pushed it away. “Don’t want that.”
With a sigh, I looked to Alyssa for help. I wasn’t sure what to do and I wanted to defer to her.
I was relieved when Alyssa touched her hand and spoke softly. “Just eat what you like, sweetheart. You can have something else later if you want.”
“I want a milkshake.”
I smiled. “That I can do.” I pushed the chocolate thickshake I’d ordered toward her.
She took a deep sip and then beamed at me. Our perfect night started to get back on track.
Eventually Phoebe ate what was in front of her without too much complaint. Alyssa and I didn’t talk much while we ate. Instead, Alyssa sat back and watched as Phoebe regaled me with stories about her day and her week. For at least half the time, I had no idea what she was saying but after asking “what” fifteen times, I’d decided just to smile and nod as she spoke.
Every time I looked over at Alyssa she was staring at us with an unknown expression on her face. It was not quite a look of longing, not quite a look of love, but because of the pain buried in her eyes, it was almost heartbreaking to witness.
“Are you all right with her for one minute?” Alyssa asked.
I nodded. “We’ll be fine, won’t we, Pheebs?” I winked at her. She giggled and nodded in reply.
Alyssa walked off and pulled out her mobile phone.
“I want more.” Phoebe held up her empty cup. I ordered another thickshake for Phoebe and cleared off the rest of the table. Alyssa came back a few minutes later.
“Sorry, Mum asked me to check in with her when we got to the restaurant. I didn’t want her to worry.”
“She doesn’t trust me, does she?”
Alyssa smiled at me. “No, not really.”
“I don’t know what it will take to convince everyone that I am here for good, but I’ll do it. Eventually, I’ll prove to everyone that I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”
The look from before, the almost painful look of longing and desire, crossed her features again.
“I know.” Somehow she made the two words sound more like, “I wish I could believe that.”
It left me
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