Read Online Death of the Couch Potato's Wife: Cozy Christian Mysteries (Women Sleuth, Female Detective Suspense) by Christy Barritt - Free Book Online
Authors: Christy Barritt
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as a member of the Neighborhood Watch Patrol that you’re always on alert.” Harry cruised through our neighborhood in his beat-up Seville. Darkness had fallen several hours ago, and no one stirred—except us. “The bad guys are sneaky—very sneaky. You have to keep your ears open and your eyes peeled.”
I rolled my eyes in the backseat and shoved some copies of Body Building magazine onto the floor. They collided with a hodgepodge of empty protein shake containers and a few apple cores. And this guy wondered why he couldn’t get a date? I hoped he never asked me my opinion on the matter because I would be forced to confront him with the truth. He was a slob, self-obsessed, and he had bad breath. There.
Babe sat up front as Harry “trained” us for this new position. Did this guy always take himself so seriously?
“I’m jiggy with it.” Babe angled her hands in front of her like a rapper.
And did Babe ever take herself seriously? Only when she was around Paul Willis, apparently.
“If you see anyone sneaking around, you’ll want to report it to the police. That includes anyone dodging behind cars, bushes, or in people’s backyards. You can never be too careful, especially in light of recent events.”
Yeah, Candace. Poor thing. Was there any hope of anyone solving her murder?
As Harry rambled on and on about how important it was for us to keep our neighborhood safe, I thought about Kent.
I’d only seen him for five minutes when he got home from work. He was late—again. The chicken pot pie I had prepared for him—made only with ingredients that were sealed and I was sure hadn’t been tampered with—was cold when he’d arrived home. He didn’t seem bothered by it, but I was.
And I’d wanted to tell him about my day, about Babe and The Couch King.
Before I could get in a word, he’d blurted, “I think I need a man cave.”
I’d stopped in my tracks. “A what?”
“A man cave. You know, a place of my own where I can do my own thing.” In other words, a place where he could spend his time without me.
“And why do you think you need this?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems like the suburban thing to do. I’m thinking I could turn the garage into my space. You know, put in an old TV and couch. Maybe a small refrigerator. Hang up some sports paraphernalia and a few strands of string lights. Then I can invite the guys from church over to watch the game sometime.”
At that moment, I felt more and more of our marriage slipping away.
As I left, he’d taken his nuked dinner and plopped in front of the TV to watch Judge Judy . Part of me wondered if he was glad I’d left so he could spend uninterrupted time with Panny, my loving nickname for our Panasonic.
“Do you have any questions, Laura?”
“What?” My gaze refocused on Harry, who tried to preen in the rearview mirror while catching a glimpse of me.
He shined his front teeth with his finger then flickered his gaze back to me. “Do you understand what your responsibilities are?”
“Of course.”
“Tomorrow night will be your shift. I figure you can have Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’ll take the rest of the week.”
“Sure.”
“I feel like I’m on the TV show Cops ! This is so exciting.” Babe clapped her hands before abruptly pointing in the distance. “Did I just see movement over there?”
Harry grinned. “Let’s go check it out.”
I rolled my eyes again. I’d seen movement too. It wasn’t a cat burglar. It was just a plain cat.
Harry spotlighted the feline with his headlights and shook his head, as if disappointed.
This would be a good time to chat about Candace, I figured. I leaned forward, in between the seats. “So Harry, do you have any theories as to what happened to Candace? You’re ‘in the know’ with things around here. Certainly, you have some ideas.”
He puffed his chest out. “Of course I have ideas. They’re just speculation right now, though. I have to prove I’m
I rolled my eyes in the backseat and shoved some copies of Body Building magazine onto the floor. They collided with a hodgepodge of empty protein shake containers and a few apple cores. And this guy wondered why he couldn’t get a date? I hoped he never asked me my opinion on the matter because I would be forced to confront him with the truth. He was a slob, self-obsessed, and he had bad breath. There.
Babe sat up front as Harry “trained” us for this new position. Did this guy always take himself so seriously?
“I’m jiggy with it.” Babe angled her hands in front of her like a rapper.
And did Babe ever take herself seriously? Only when she was around Paul Willis, apparently.
“If you see anyone sneaking around, you’ll want to report it to the police. That includes anyone dodging behind cars, bushes, or in people’s backyards. You can never be too careful, especially in light of recent events.”
Yeah, Candace. Poor thing. Was there any hope of anyone solving her murder?
As Harry rambled on and on about how important it was for us to keep our neighborhood safe, I thought about Kent.
I’d only seen him for five minutes when he got home from work. He was late—again. The chicken pot pie I had prepared for him—made only with ingredients that were sealed and I was sure hadn’t been tampered with—was cold when he’d arrived home. He didn’t seem bothered by it, but I was.
And I’d wanted to tell him about my day, about Babe and The Couch King.
Before I could get in a word, he’d blurted, “I think I need a man cave.”
I’d stopped in my tracks. “A what?”
“A man cave. You know, a place of my own where I can do my own thing.” In other words, a place where he could spend his time without me.
“And why do you think you need this?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. It just seems like the suburban thing to do. I’m thinking I could turn the garage into my space. You know, put in an old TV and couch. Maybe a small refrigerator. Hang up some sports paraphernalia and a few strands of string lights. Then I can invite the guys from church over to watch the game sometime.”
At that moment, I felt more and more of our marriage slipping away.
As I left, he’d taken his nuked dinner and plopped in front of the TV to watch Judge Judy . Part of me wondered if he was glad I’d left so he could spend uninterrupted time with Panny, my loving nickname for our Panasonic.
“Do you have any questions, Laura?”
“What?” My gaze refocused on Harry, who tried to preen in the rearview mirror while catching a glimpse of me.
He shined his front teeth with his finger then flickered his gaze back to me. “Do you understand what your responsibilities are?”
“Of course.”
“Tomorrow night will be your shift. I figure you can have Tuesdays and Thursdays. I’ll take the rest of the week.”
“Sure.”
“I feel like I’m on the TV show Cops ! This is so exciting.” Babe clapped her hands before abruptly pointing in the distance. “Did I just see movement over there?”
Harry grinned. “Let’s go check it out.”
I rolled my eyes again. I’d seen movement too. It wasn’t a cat burglar. It was just a plain cat.
Harry spotlighted the feline with his headlights and shook his head, as if disappointed.
This would be a good time to chat about Candace, I figured. I leaned forward, in between the seats. “So Harry, do you have any theories as to what happened to Candace? You’re ‘in the know’ with things around here. Certainly, you have some ideas.”
He puffed his chest out. “Of course I have ideas. They’re just speculation right now, though. I have to prove I’m
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