mother asks. Maybe if she hadnât called to me at this exact moment I would have put them back. But her voice interrupts any further contemplating, and so I take the path of least resistance. I mean, I have the cards, so I keep the cards.
âIâm set,â I say. I go to my mother and surrender my ice-cream pints. My father takes them and sets them in the bag.
âHeard youâre not feeling well,â he says.
Concerned about my date, I downplay everything. âI got overheated in practice.â
âWell, cool down and take it slow. Iâll try to be home early,â he says.
I doubt thatâs true. I take our bag so my mother doesnât have to carry it, and we dart out of the Thirsty Truck and flee to the shelter of the green Galant.
âI think itâs cute that you want to ask your date with ice cream,â my mom says.
âDonât say itâs cute,â I say. âYou make me feel like Iâm twelve.â
âTime is going by so fast,â my mom says.
âItâs going by normal speed,â I say. âIt just feels fast because in three months youâre having a baby.â
A baby. I canât believe it. Diapers. Colic. Bottles. What will our lives look like then? I reach over and turn on the radio, and a sad and familiar sound floats through the car. A saxophone.
âYou want to listen to jazz?â I ask, assuming the radio accidentally ended up on this station. My mom usually enjoys soaking up talk radio shows. People calling in about difficult to diagnose car issues. Smart local people discussing topical events.
âWho doesnât like a little jazz?â my mom says.
I donât argue. I listen to the sweeping melody lines; they meander and march, and I canât help but think of Henry.
âDoes your friend ever play shows in town?â my mom asks.
âNo, not much,â I say.
There arenât a lot of venues for jazz in Idaho Falls. But Henry has played a few times with two friends in coffee shops. One plays bass. The other drums. Henry says the manager always tells their trio to play more quietly. Sometime soon, if things donât feel too weird between us, I hope to make it to one of their infrequent gigs.
The music ends and the DJ tells us that we just listened to Dizzy Gillespie play a song called âI Remember Clifford,â which was written by Benny Golson for his friend Clifford Brown, a genius trumpet player from the fifties who died at twenty-five in a car crash.
Rain continues to pound down over us, and my mother flips the windshield wipers to a faster speed.
âThatâs so freaking sad,â I say.
âBut itâs a beautiful song,â she says.
My window is starting to fog up. I use my finger to wipe a spot clear. âIn a sad way.â
âDo you want to change the station?â
I shake my head; weâre almost home. âNo. I like this.â
Saturday, October 5
When I wake up, itâs past eight oâclock, but I still feel tired. Is my life that exhausting? I think back to yesterday. Yes. It is. I hear my mother walking down the hall.
âAre you up yet?â she calls.
âSomewhat,â I say.
She opens my door. She looks like sheâs been up a while. Sheâs dressed and her hair looks nice, like sheâs ready to go out.
âIf Joy calls, you should put her through,â I say. âAnd if Tate calls, put him through. But if Ruthann calls, tell her Iâm still sleeping.â
âI donât have time for that,â she says. âYou need boots for your trip. Iâm off to get them right now.â
She walks into my room carrying her purse.
âCanât I just wear normal shoes?â I ask.
âYou might run into problems with the stirrups.â
I push off my covers and climb out of bed. âI think Iâll be just fine. Weâre not going extreme horseback riding. Weâre just walking along a
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