other people have or the most expensive, because you have no taste of your own – no imagination.
“And conversation? You know a little about art and wine. That’s it. If a book hasn’t been on Oprah’s list, you are a totally clueless.
“Dull, dull, dull. You’re not the all-to-be-all, Matt. You’re good-looking; that’s it.”
“Then why are you so mad, Franklin? You don’t return my calls or emails. I have tried many times to contact you, but you refuse and yet you stand accusing me of being a creep. Why all the energy if I’m so stupid?”
“Because you can’t control with whom you fall in love. Believe me, I would have chosen someone more dynamic, someone with more ooomph. The truth is that you’re boring, sweetie.”
Matt’s face fell flat. The thought that someone deemed him to be less than perfect was a surprise. He was so used to being catered to. A big surprise.
Franklin flopped dramatically on the bed. “I really wish I could love someone else. I really do. I knew when I met you that you would not be the joy of my life, but the undoing.”
“Christ Almighty,” muttered Matt, stunned. “I never knew you felt that way. Am I really boring?” Matt glanced at me.
I just shrugged.
“Believe me, I have prayed and prayed that God would take away these feelings for you, but it hasn’t happened. I’m stuck,” complained Franklin.
“Franklin, I had no idea. I don’t know what to say. I told you from the get-go that I wanted a family of my own and that I was struggling. I took it for granted that someday I would move on, but always thought we’d still be friends. I didn’t realize that you were so invested in our relationship.”
“You broke my heart, Matt. You simply undid me.”
Matt struggled for words. His eyes looked moist and conveyed a worried look as though he had suddenly realized something important.
“Tell me something, Matt. If you had married, would you have been faithful?”
“Yes. I would have tried to be so.”
“There’s that word – tried. You know men with homosexual tendencies can’t be faithful to their wives. They’ll always come back to their own kind.”
“That’s rubbish, Franklin. I don’t know that and neither do you.”
“Matt, we don’t get to pick who we are, whom we love or who loves us. We can only cope as best we can with what we’re given.
“It’s different for each of us. For Josiah, it’s her leg pain and the loss of her husband. For me, it’s you. Those are our crosses to bear and we bear them as best we can – not always perfect, but still forward.”
“You’ve always been a proud gay man,” countered Matt. “But who are you to tell me that I won’t be able to live a life with a wife and kids? People are not tied to fate or labels. We each make our own decisions on how we want to live our lives.”
“Man, are you drunk? What planet do you live on? You are what you are,” accused Franklin. “You need to make peace with it.” Sighing, he rose from the bed. “Whatever happened to Miss Mystery Writer anyway?”
“You know damned well Meriah hightailed it back to California without so much a fare-thee-well,” snarled Matt.
Franklin smirked. “Awww, that’s too bad. Isn’t that awful, Josiah?”
I wiped my tearing eyes with a pair of ripped panties. All I could say was, “You guys!” and gave Franklin a big hug and then Matt, leaving them alone.
I had to admit it.
Franklin had just won the first round.
It was just what the doctor ordered for Matt.
10
Matt and Franklin were rummaging through my freezer looking for dinner. They had talked quietly for over an hour and now were famished.
I didn’t know if they had made up or what the outcome was with them when the doorbell rang.
“Make sure you check the security monitor before you let someone in,” I yelled from my office.
I heard murmurs and then the front door closed. Matt poked his head in my office. “There is a Walter Neff to see you. Has he seen
“And conversation? You know a little about art and wine. That’s it. If a book hasn’t been on Oprah’s list, you are a totally clueless.
“Dull, dull, dull. You’re not the all-to-be-all, Matt. You’re good-looking; that’s it.”
“Then why are you so mad, Franklin? You don’t return my calls or emails. I have tried many times to contact you, but you refuse and yet you stand accusing me of being a creep. Why all the energy if I’m so stupid?”
“Because you can’t control with whom you fall in love. Believe me, I would have chosen someone more dynamic, someone with more ooomph. The truth is that you’re boring, sweetie.”
Matt’s face fell flat. The thought that someone deemed him to be less than perfect was a surprise. He was so used to being catered to. A big surprise.
Franklin flopped dramatically on the bed. “I really wish I could love someone else. I really do. I knew when I met you that you would not be the joy of my life, but the undoing.”
“Christ Almighty,” muttered Matt, stunned. “I never knew you felt that way. Am I really boring?” Matt glanced at me.
I just shrugged.
“Believe me, I have prayed and prayed that God would take away these feelings for you, but it hasn’t happened. I’m stuck,” complained Franklin.
“Franklin, I had no idea. I don’t know what to say. I told you from the get-go that I wanted a family of my own and that I was struggling. I took it for granted that someday I would move on, but always thought we’d still be friends. I didn’t realize that you were so invested in our relationship.”
“You broke my heart, Matt. You simply undid me.”
Matt struggled for words. His eyes looked moist and conveyed a worried look as though he had suddenly realized something important.
“Tell me something, Matt. If you had married, would you have been faithful?”
“Yes. I would have tried to be so.”
“There’s that word – tried. You know men with homosexual tendencies can’t be faithful to their wives. They’ll always come back to their own kind.”
“That’s rubbish, Franklin. I don’t know that and neither do you.”
“Matt, we don’t get to pick who we are, whom we love or who loves us. We can only cope as best we can with what we’re given.
“It’s different for each of us. For Josiah, it’s her leg pain and the loss of her husband. For me, it’s you. Those are our crosses to bear and we bear them as best we can – not always perfect, but still forward.”
“You’ve always been a proud gay man,” countered Matt. “But who are you to tell me that I won’t be able to live a life with a wife and kids? People are not tied to fate or labels. We each make our own decisions on how we want to live our lives.”
“Man, are you drunk? What planet do you live on? You are what you are,” accused Franklin. “You need to make peace with it.” Sighing, he rose from the bed. “Whatever happened to Miss Mystery Writer anyway?”
“You know damned well Meriah hightailed it back to California without so much a fare-thee-well,” snarled Matt.
Franklin smirked. “Awww, that’s too bad. Isn’t that awful, Josiah?”
I wiped my tearing eyes with a pair of ripped panties. All I could say was, “You guys!” and gave Franklin a big hug and then Matt, leaving them alone.
I had to admit it.
Franklin had just won the first round.
It was just what the doctor ordered for Matt.
10
Matt and Franklin were rummaging through my freezer looking for dinner. They had talked quietly for over an hour and now were famished.
I didn’t know if they had made up or what the outcome was with them when the doorbell rang.
“Make sure you check the security monitor before you let someone in,” I yelled from my office.
I heard murmurs and then the front door closed. Matt poked his head in my office. “There is a Walter Neff to see you. Has he seen
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