Read Online Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine by Chip Rowe - Free Book Online
Authors: Chip Rowe
Tags: General, Sex, Health; Fitness & Dieting, Interpersonal relations, Self-Help, Relationships, Sexual Health
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I’ve slept with could not get an erection. Isn’t it enough to have a naked woman saying “Fuck me now”? What am I doing wrong? I’m not ugly, and I don’t smell.—S.E., South Bend, Indiana
We’ll take a wild guess here, but have 70 percent of your partners been intoxicated? That would explain a lot. Yet even if they were sober, many college guys have never encountered a girl like you. They’re used to being in charge, and now they have a partner saying “Gimme!” If a guy loses his erection, don’t make a big deal of it. He’s not a machine. But he does have a tongue. As you meet guys with more experience and who use other methods besides booze to get you into bed, this will be less of a problem.
Roommates who touch themselves
I’m an 18-year-old female high school senior who will soon be living in a dorm room with three women I’ve never met. The problem is, I love to masturbate. One afternoon after sex ed class I came home and “found myself.” I haven’t gotten into or out of bed since without masturbating. And I’m not shy about it with my close friends or family. (I have 10 siblings and share a room with three sisters.) My parents bought me my first vibrator. I love toys, but some of my best orgasms have been with my fingers while pulling on my nipples. My dad says to do it only when I’m alone; my mom says to be open with my roommates about it. I’m not a screamer, but my sisters know I usually thrash around. What happens if one of my roommates freaks and tries to ruin me? Can you give me any stats to show that this is normal?—J.S., Los Angeles, California
Throwing statistics around won’t help. Rest assured that most women masturbate, although perhaps not as frequently or openly as you. You’re ahead of your time. This isn’t about masturbation as much as the compromise required for any sort of group living. To avoid friction you may need to make minor adjustments to your routine, such as holding your hands behind your back until you get to the shower. But don’t be surprised if at least two of your roomies also routinely masturbate and have their own concerns about privacy. Why do we think we’ll see you on The Real World ?
CONTRACEPTION
Don’t forget your rubbers.
My girlfriend wants to go “natural”
My girlfriend planned to save herself for marriage but has changed her mind. The problem is, she insists that her first time be “completely natural.” Can you tell me what the chances are she’ll become pregnant from one instance of unprotected sex?—D.J., Toronto, Ontario
How good are you? If you have the self-control, you might slide inside her a few times before you slip on the condom; that may satisfy her curiosity. But given your girlfriend’s inexperience, your first time together won’t be as magical as she imagines, and contraception isn’t going to make or break the encounter. We recommend that you play it safe. If she wants all natural, have sex outdoors with a lambskin condom and water-based lube. And appeal to her romantic side: Tell her she isn’t going to write in her diary that her first time was special because you didn’t wear a condom, but because she was with you.
Risky business
I have been using the withdrawal method to keep from getting my girlfriend pregnant. That is, I come on her stomach. She takes a shower after sex, and I’m wondering if the water can carry the sperm into her vagina. Have you ever heard of that happening?—V.T., Lansing, Michigan
No. Even with the best of intentions, it’s much more likely you’ll get her pregnant before she hits the shower. Coitus interruptus is better than nothing, but that’s about the only good thing we can say about it. The technique’s failure rate is estimated to be about four percent with perfect use, meaning that over a year’s time, four of 100 women using it will get pregnant. However, given that highly aroused men are involved, a 19 percent failure rate is thought
We’ll take a wild guess here, but have 70 percent of your partners been intoxicated? That would explain a lot. Yet even if they were sober, many college guys have never encountered a girl like you. They’re used to being in charge, and now they have a partner saying “Gimme!” If a guy loses his erection, don’t make a big deal of it. He’s not a machine. But he does have a tongue. As you meet guys with more experience and who use other methods besides booze to get you into bed, this will be less of a problem.
Roommates who touch themselves
I’m an 18-year-old female high school senior who will soon be living in a dorm room with three women I’ve never met. The problem is, I love to masturbate. One afternoon after sex ed class I came home and “found myself.” I haven’t gotten into or out of bed since without masturbating. And I’m not shy about it with my close friends or family. (I have 10 siblings and share a room with three sisters.) My parents bought me my first vibrator. I love toys, but some of my best orgasms have been with my fingers while pulling on my nipples. My dad says to do it only when I’m alone; my mom says to be open with my roommates about it. I’m not a screamer, but my sisters know I usually thrash around. What happens if one of my roommates freaks and tries to ruin me? Can you give me any stats to show that this is normal?—J.S., Los Angeles, California
Throwing statistics around won’t help. Rest assured that most women masturbate, although perhaps not as frequently or openly as you. You’re ahead of your time. This isn’t about masturbation as much as the compromise required for any sort of group living. To avoid friction you may need to make minor adjustments to your routine, such as holding your hands behind your back until you get to the shower. But don’t be surprised if at least two of your roomies also routinely masturbate and have their own concerns about privacy. Why do we think we’ll see you on The Real World ?
CONTRACEPTION
Don’t forget your rubbers.
My girlfriend wants to go “natural”
My girlfriend planned to save herself for marriage but has changed her mind. The problem is, she insists that her first time be “completely natural.” Can you tell me what the chances are she’ll become pregnant from one instance of unprotected sex?—D.J., Toronto, Ontario
How good are you? If you have the self-control, you might slide inside her a few times before you slip on the condom; that may satisfy her curiosity. But given your girlfriend’s inexperience, your first time together won’t be as magical as she imagines, and contraception isn’t going to make or break the encounter. We recommend that you play it safe. If she wants all natural, have sex outdoors with a lambskin condom and water-based lube. And appeal to her romantic side: Tell her she isn’t going to write in her diary that her first time was special because you didn’t wear a condom, but because she was with you.
Risky business
I have been using the withdrawal method to keep from getting my girlfriend pregnant. That is, I come on her stomach. She takes a shower after sex, and I’m wondering if the water can carry the sperm into her vagina. Have you ever heard of that happening?—V.T., Lansing, Michigan
No. Even with the best of intentions, it’s much more likely you’ll get her pregnant before she hits the shower. Coitus interruptus is better than nothing, but that’s about the only good thing we can say about it. The technique’s failure rate is estimated to be about four percent with perfect use, meaning that over a year’s time, four of 100 women using it will get pregnant. However, given that highly aroused men are involved, a 19 percent failure rate is thought
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