Read Online Dear Miffy by John Marsden - Free Book Online Page B

there we were, both wanting it, all fired up and nowhere to go, surrounded by sex but couldn’t hardly touch each other. Till we got into that little room. It was all my idea and I’m proud of it. We went right past the door and then I dragged you back and said, ‘Let’s check this out,’ and you said, ‘Oh yeah, art by disabled lesbians, good one,’ but I knew what I was after. We were in there about twenty minutes fartarsing around and in all that time no-one else came near the place, and finally I said to you, ‘I don’t think too many people are interested in art by disabled lesbians,’ and right away you knew it was serious and what I was getting at and then I grabbed you and away we went. I’d never done it with so many clothes on before; it was pretty funny when I think about it now, but we weren’t laughing at the time.
    Geez, we were lucky no-one came in, but. I can’t believe we were that dumb.
    Oh, but God, I loved it, Miff. I get a lump in my throat thinking about it now. And a lump in my pants, sure, but the look of you afterwards, as you pulled up your undies and gave me this kind of half-smiling half-serious look with your beautiful clear eyes, like you were saying, ‘Well, we’ve done it now. This is getting serious. We’re in this for the long haul,’ I loved you so much I wanted to pull you down on the floor and take all your clothes off and do it long and slow and forever.
    Sex! It rules! Wish we could do it all day every day. Wouldn’t get much else done, but.
    Second time was at Donald’s, the next Friday, when he had that party. That was good timing. We got there early, said hello to a few people, walked through the lounge room and the kitchen, went straight upstairs to his bedroom, locked the door and made love all night. A few people were pissed off with us that night! Especially Donald. I thought he was going to break his own door down at about three o’clock. Just shows, it pays to get to parties early.
    Didn’t help Donald, but. He got there before anyone else and ended up with nothing.
    I didn’t need grog or dope or no shit at all that night, Miff. You were the greatest drug ever invented. You were all I ever wanted. When I was with you the sun and moon and stars were in the fucking room, and heaven was in your mouth and your breasts and between your legs. Hell was a long long way away when you were there, Miff. The sun rose and set every time you breathed, and those dark wings and that bad music got pushed off into nowhere.
    Funny, you know, I’m writing this surrounded by fucking chaos. Fucking chaos and darkness. The nurses have been in and out about sixteen times saying it’s time to get up. They want to get me up and I’ve just been refusing the whole time. It’s past eight o’clock. This is getting heavy, to tell you the truth. I might stop writing, I think, but I’m fucked if I’ll get up. Why should I. What’s to get up to? I feel like staying in bed all day so I’ll stay in bed all day. Fuck the lot of them.
    Bye, bye Miff,
    Tony
    Dear Miff,
    Geez, am I ever in the doghouse here. They’ve all got the shits with me now—even Tracy, who’s the nicest one of the lot. She’s not a full nurse, she’s a SEN, but I like her the best. She was in here a minute ago giving me the big lecture. ‘Your attitude’s so negative, Tony. Everyone wants to help you but you’re not giving them a chance.’
    Well, what I reckon is, what’s to be positive above? Why shouldn’t I be fucking negative? Who wouldn’t be? I didn’t want this. Just because I fucked up, now I’m being punished. What I can’t get my head around is how long it’s for. And even Tracy doesn’t have the least idea, not the least faint glimmering of the slightest tiny idea, what it’s like, how it feels, what I think about it all.
    â€˜Denial’