Zahn? The food situation? Jamie? There are a number of choices.” Melissa ticked them off one by one like charges in a courtroom.
“I don’t know what to say anymore,” I conceded.
“Steve, you need to give yourself a little slack. Every single thing that happens is not your fault any more than they are your accomplishments when something works. We are a unit.”
“But you all voted me your leader.”
“And when the tough choices need to be made, we will rely on your ability to think clearly and rationally.”
“But so much has gone wrong.” I felt that strangled feeling in the back of my throat again. Man, I was sick of crying or feeling like I was on the verge of it. I didn’t think men were supposed to get this way. They sure didn’t in any book or movie I could recall. Maybe this was what a nervous breakdown feels like. Did men have those? I wasn’t sure.
“And so much has gone right. You have two little girls that you have kept alive, we have this place—”
“And we may all starve and die here,” I cut her off.
“We will figure it out,” Melissa insisted.
I looked around at the smooth, white landscape. The curl of smoke rising from the chimney added to the idyllic look that this place gave off. That was the problem with an illusion; when it shattered, you were left holding nothing.
“Okay,” Melissa’s tone grew stern and serious and she spun me around to face her. “Have you confronted Dr. Zahn for her carelessness that resulted in Teresa’s and Jamie’s death?”
I stood there shocked. This woman and every single one of us probably owed our life to that poor lady. How could she even consider being so cruel? I tried to respond, but I was seriously pissed.
“You haven’t, have you?” Melissa pressed, and I shook my head because I could not find the words to express not only my anger, but also my disappointment in this woman who I thought I’d come to know. “And you won’t…because it is not. Her. Fault.”
I stared. At first it was in confusion. But that soon gave way to something else.
“You set me up,” I gasped.
“No, I helped you see something a bit more clearly. You are so buried in the problem that you often lose sight of the big picture. Also, you put unreasonable demands on yourself that you wouldn’t dream of putting on others.” Melissa slipped her gloved hands behind my neck and pulled me down.
When I withdrew from the kiss, she looked up at me with a look that I really had no idea could exist. I only hoped that what I felt in my heart for her was as clear on my face as her feelings for me were at this very moment. We walked back to the cabin holding hands. Suddenly it didn’t feel so cold.
***
“At least five.” DeAngelo Cribbs came in from the front porch after stomping his feet to knock away the snow. DeAngelo and his wife had arrived a couple months ago. I don’t think I will ever get used to standing around shooting the breeze with one of the most sought after linebackers to enter pro football. The fact that he played for my beloved Seattle franchise made him a bigger star than Tom Hanks or Brad Pitt in my eyes. And did I mention that the man was freakin’ huge?
“And they are coming up to us for sure?” I asked.
“Seem to be.”
“Then let’s get out there and meet them in the parking lot. That is the flattest ground. It will be the safest location,” I announced.
“Three more!” Fiona called down through the trap door.
“Here’s your big knife.” Emily handed me my large sheathed blade.
“Thanks, sweetie.” I took it and kissed her on the cheek. As I fastened it around my waist Thalia arrived with my gloves.
“Here, daddy.” She held them up by the tips of the pinky fingers. “They’re stinky,” she huffed, and once I took them from her she made over-exaggerated waves of her hand in front of her nose accompanied by a scrunched face.
I gave them a sniff and she was right. I never knew that gloves could smell
“I don’t know what to say anymore,” I conceded.
“Steve, you need to give yourself a little slack. Every single thing that happens is not your fault any more than they are your accomplishments when something works. We are a unit.”
“But you all voted me your leader.”
“And when the tough choices need to be made, we will rely on your ability to think clearly and rationally.”
“But so much has gone wrong.” I felt that strangled feeling in the back of my throat again. Man, I was sick of crying or feeling like I was on the verge of it. I didn’t think men were supposed to get this way. They sure didn’t in any book or movie I could recall. Maybe this was what a nervous breakdown feels like. Did men have those? I wasn’t sure.
“And so much has gone right. You have two little girls that you have kept alive, we have this place—”
“And we may all starve and die here,” I cut her off.
“We will figure it out,” Melissa insisted.
I looked around at the smooth, white landscape. The curl of smoke rising from the chimney added to the idyllic look that this place gave off. That was the problem with an illusion; when it shattered, you were left holding nothing.
“Okay,” Melissa’s tone grew stern and serious and she spun me around to face her. “Have you confronted Dr. Zahn for her carelessness that resulted in Teresa’s and Jamie’s death?”
I stood there shocked. This woman and every single one of us probably owed our life to that poor lady. How could she even consider being so cruel? I tried to respond, but I was seriously pissed.
“You haven’t, have you?” Melissa pressed, and I shook my head because I could not find the words to express not only my anger, but also my disappointment in this woman who I thought I’d come to know. “And you won’t…because it is not. Her. Fault.”
I stared. At first it was in confusion. But that soon gave way to something else.
“You set me up,” I gasped.
“No, I helped you see something a bit more clearly. You are so buried in the problem that you often lose sight of the big picture. Also, you put unreasonable demands on yourself that you wouldn’t dream of putting on others.” Melissa slipped her gloved hands behind my neck and pulled me down.
When I withdrew from the kiss, she looked up at me with a look that I really had no idea could exist. I only hoped that what I felt in my heart for her was as clear on my face as her feelings for me were at this very moment. We walked back to the cabin holding hands. Suddenly it didn’t feel so cold.
***
“At least five.” DeAngelo Cribbs came in from the front porch after stomping his feet to knock away the snow. DeAngelo and his wife had arrived a couple months ago. I don’t think I will ever get used to standing around shooting the breeze with one of the most sought after linebackers to enter pro football. The fact that he played for my beloved Seattle franchise made him a bigger star than Tom Hanks or Brad Pitt in my eyes. And did I mention that the man was freakin’ huge?
“And they are coming up to us for sure?” I asked.
“Seem to be.”
“Then let’s get out there and meet them in the parking lot. That is the flattest ground. It will be the safest location,” I announced.
“Three more!” Fiona called down through the trap door.
“Here’s your big knife.” Emily handed me my large sheathed blade.
“Thanks, sweetie.” I took it and kissed her on the cheek. As I fastened it around my waist Thalia arrived with my gloves.
“Here, daddy.” She held them up by the tips of the pinky fingers. “They’re stinky,” she huffed, and once I took them from her she made over-exaggerated waves of her hand in front of her nose accompanied by a scrunched face.
I gave them a sniff and she was right. I never knew that gloves could smell
Similar Books
