out, but I still had a problem with the whole thing. The worst part about that situation was that I was beginning to see where I was wrong. I was the one preaching vigilance and preparedness, but I was balking when it came to the girls.
“Just do your best to hurry back,” I sighed.
We stood in silence for a moment. I noticed the uncomfortable looks on their faces any time they so much as glanced Dr. Zahn’s way. She had been a rock for all of us. Nobody was comfortable with the shell of a woman she’d become almost overnight. With a nod, I led her inside and let the two “secret” lovebirds have a few moments of privacy.
Inside the giant visitor’s center cabin we called home, the mood was as expected. Even the two new arrivals, Doug and Cheryl Coates were in a corner leaning into each other for emotional support and they’d only been with us for a day.
As I peeled off my coat and gloves, my eyes sought Melissa and I found her with Thalia and Emily each snuggled under an arm with faces buried in her side. She saw me and her eyes immediately flashed to Dr. Zahn and then back to mine.
Dr. Zahn pulled away from me and went to her little emergency room/trauma center/office and shut the door. I felt something warm on my hand and looked down to see Buster, the red and white Border Collie licking tentatively. That was odd in the sense that the dog seemed to ignore me almost entirely. He was Thalia and Emily’s dog. Period.
I scratched the small dog behind the ear and was rewarded with a belly that was apparently a much more desirable location for the aforementioned scratching. Kneeling down, I gave the dog a good belly rub and remembered my beloved Basset Hound. Pluck had basically saved me that first night. For some reason, the emotions hit me like a firestorm and the next thing I knew, tears filled my eyes.
I don’t know if I stopped scratching Buster’s belly or if the dog was turned off by my pitiful crying, but at some point I found myself alone on my knees weeping like a baby. I looked up to find Thalia standing in front of me. She took my face in her tiny hands and stared into my eyes with a very serious expression of concern.
“It’s okay, daddy.” She placed her forehead against mine. “Jamie is in Heaven with Teresa and Emily’s daddy and my mommy.”
I was dumbstruck. This was just more proof that I was absolutely clueless when it came to the ability of children to process through absolutely debilitating emotional trauma and find happiness in a world that has fallen apart.
***
“Don’t take stupid chances,” I said as Jon climbed into the Snowcat with Jake and Jesus.
“And you need to take it easy on that leg,” Jon whispered. He glanced over my shoulder at Melissa. I appreciated his discretion. “You are starting to show a very noticeable limp. It is all over your face when you get tired or start to push yourself beyond what you should.”
“And if it looks bad, just come back and we will figure something out.” I ignored his ministrations.
“You know as well as I do that there isn’t anything to figure out. We need to do this. And next year we will have that full blown garden and we will hunt with a new purpose. We have to treat this like the pioneer days.”
I watched as the Snowcat roared down the hill and eventually vanished in the trees. Once it was gone I turned to get a look up in the crow’s nest. Fiona O’Hara was on watch.
“Fee,” I called.
“Yep…I know…keep an eye peeled for anything that might have been attracted by the noise.”
Everybody else had gone inside within the first few minutes; everybody except Melissa that is. Not even Thalia and Emily wanted to stay outside in this cold to play. It was bitter cold—and that was a phrase I really hadn’t appreciated until recently.
“You want to talk?” Melissa came and put her arms around me and snuggled in close.
“About?”
“Everything.”
“That doesn’t narrow it down much.”
“Dr.
“Just do your best to hurry back,” I sighed.
We stood in silence for a moment. I noticed the uncomfortable looks on their faces any time they so much as glanced Dr. Zahn’s way. She had been a rock for all of us. Nobody was comfortable with the shell of a woman she’d become almost overnight. With a nod, I led her inside and let the two “secret” lovebirds have a few moments of privacy.
Inside the giant visitor’s center cabin we called home, the mood was as expected. Even the two new arrivals, Doug and Cheryl Coates were in a corner leaning into each other for emotional support and they’d only been with us for a day.
As I peeled off my coat and gloves, my eyes sought Melissa and I found her with Thalia and Emily each snuggled under an arm with faces buried in her side. She saw me and her eyes immediately flashed to Dr. Zahn and then back to mine.
Dr. Zahn pulled away from me and went to her little emergency room/trauma center/office and shut the door. I felt something warm on my hand and looked down to see Buster, the red and white Border Collie licking tentatively. That was odd in the sense that the dog seemed to ignore me almost entirely. He was Thalia and Emily’s dog. Period.
I scratched the small dog behind the ear and was rewarded with a belly that was apparently a much more desirable location for the aforementioned scratching. Kneeling down, I gave the dog a good belly rub and remembered my beloved Basset Hound. Pluck had basically saved me that first night. For some reason, the emotions hit me like a firestorm and the next thing I knew, tears filled my eyes.
I don’t know if I stopped scratching Buster’s belly or if the dog was turned off by my pitiful crying, but at some point I found myself alone on my knees weeping like a baby. I looked up to find Thalia standing in front of me. She took my face in her tiny hands and stared into my eyes with a very serious expression of concern.
“It’s okay, daddy.” She placed her forehead against mine. “Jamie is in Heaven with Teresa and Emily’s daddy and my mommy.”
I was dumbstruck. This was just more proof that I was absolutely clueless when it came to the ability of children to process through absolutely debilitating emotional trauma and find happiness in a world that has fallen apart.
***
“Don’t take stupid chances,” I said as Jon climbed into the Snowcat with Jake and Jesus.
“And you need to take it easy on that leg,” Jon whispered. He glanced over my shoulder at Melissa. I appreciated his discretion. “You are starting to show a very noticeable limp. It is all over your face when you get tired or start to push yourself beyond what you should.”
“And if it looks bad, just come back and we will figure something out.” I ignored his ministrations.
“You know as well as I do that there isn’t anything to figure out. We need to do this. And next year we will have that full blown garden and we will hunt with a new purpose. We have to treat this like the pioneer days.”
I watched as the Snowcat roared down the hill and eventually vanished in the trees. Once it was gone I turned to get a look up in the crow’s nest. Fiona O’Hara was on watch.
“Fee,” I called.
“Yep…I know…keep an eye peeled for anything that might have been attracted by the noise.”
Everybody else had gone inside within the first few minutes; everybody except Melissa that is. Not even Thalia and Emily wanted to stay outside in this cold to play. It was bitter cold—and that was a phrase I really hadn’t appreciated until recently.
“You want to talk?” Melissa came and put her arms around me and snuggled in close.
“About?”
“Everything.”
“That doesn’t narrow it down much.”
“Dr.
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