him, starting from the time he was very young.”
“Is this a joke? This guy’s been a prisoner?”
“Never that. Pelham’s people have been servants of the founding families for generations. As you know, some years ago, the last scions of those families chose to leave the city to seek their fortunes elsewhere, much to the delight of myself and the ghosts I serve.”
Marla grunted. Those spoiled rich brats had done nothing except party and dishonor their family names, and the Chamberlain had made life unpleasant for them. They all lived abroad on their trust funds now, and didn’t even visit anymore. “Yeah, so?”
“They all took their personal servants with them. Pelham’s family has…certain symbiotic tendencies. Through training and temperament and long tradition, they’re only happy when they have someone to personally tend to. The relationships can grow quite close. But Pelham, poor Pelham, was the odd man out. He had too many brothers and sisters. When the heirs to the founding families chose their valets and lady’s maids, Pelham was left unchosen. He’s been at the house ever since, seeing no reason to leave, utterly unfulfilled, and I’ve been wondering for years how to settle him properly in an outside position. When I realized you had the makings of real aristocracy—the kind won by strength of arms and strategy, not accident of birth—I realized you’d be perfect.”
“Me? Why not
you
? Gods, you’ve got dozens of servants already!”
“Nonsense. I
am
a servant, Marla. Head of the servants, yes, and often the public face of the founding families, which requires me to affect a certain regal bearing on their behalf, but I never forget my true position. Besides, Pelham is more than a hired man. His connection to the one he serves is profound. He’s bonding to you even now. You’ll never find a more loyal or trustworthy employee. And, yes, he may need to adjust to the realities of the world outside a bit, but he’s been trained to cope with the unexpected, and he doesn’t bat an eyelash at magic. I’m sure he’ll work out fine.”
“Look, you said we could break this arrangement anytime, and now you’re telling me he’s a parasite?”
“Symbiote,” the Chamberlain said sternly. “And, yes, you could send him away, though it would tear him apart to be rejected, and I suspect he’d wind up utterly despondent, sleeping under a bridge somewhere. And he’s certainly free to leave your service whenever he chooses; it’s just highly unlikely he would ever so choose.”
“Wonderful. I won’t forget this.”
“It
is
a boon, Marla, not a treacherous gift, I assure you. You’ll see. Pelham will make your life easier in a thousand little ways. You’ll have cause to thank me.”
“Right. I’m sure.” Marla flipped the phone closed and drummed her fingers on the dashboard.
“Hey, Marla,” Rondeau said quietly. “The guy’s back there crying.”
Marla sank lower in her seat. She felt like shit, but she hadn’t asked for this responsibility. Then again, she was no stranger to unwanted responsibility. She took a breath. The world was what it was. “Hey, Pelham. Sorry about all that…parasite business. I was just taken by surprise.”
“You need never apologize to me, Ms. Mason.”
She turned around in her seat again. “Hey. I don’t apologize all that often. Just when I actually make mistakes, which Rondeau can tell you is pretty much never.”
“To hear her tell it anyway,” Rondeau said.
“If you’re going to work for me, you can’t be afraid to speak up. I’m not saying I won’t smack you down occasionally, but don’t let that discourage you. I realize there’s a lot of stuff you don’t know. But you can learn. And there’s plenty of stuff you do know that
I
need to learn. Like how to throw a party for a hundred or so of Felport’s best and brightest and meanest and most dangerous. Think you can help me do that?”
“Of course,” Pelham said. “I
“Is this a joke? This guy’s been a prisoner?”
“Never that. Pelham’s people have been servants of the founding families for generations. As you know, some years ago, the last scions of those families chose to leave the city to seek their fortunes elsewhere, much to the delight of myself and the ghosts I serve.”
Marla grunted. Those spoiled rich brats had done nothing except party and dishonor their family names, and the Chamberlain had made life unpleasant for them. They all lived abroad on their trust funds now, and didn’t even visit anymore. “Yeah, so?”
“They all took their personal servants with them. Pelham’s family has…certain symbiotic tendencies. Through training and temperament and long tradition, they’re only happy when they have someone to personally tend to. The relationships can grow quite close. But Pelham, poor Pelham, was the odd man out. He had too many brothers and sisters. When the heirs to the founding families chose their valets and lady’s maids, Pelham was left unchosen. He’s been at the house ever since, seeing no reason to leave, utterly unfulfilled, and I’ve been wondering for years how to settle him properly in an outside position. When I realized you had the makings of real aristocracy—the kind won by strength of arms and strategy, not accident of birth—I realized you’d be perfect.”
“Me? Why not
you
? Gods, you’ve got dozens of servants already!”
“Nonsense. I
am
a servant, Marla. Head of the servants, yes, and often the public face of the founding families, which requires me to affect a certain regal bearing on their behalf, but I never forget my true position. Besides, Pelham is more than a hired man. His connection to the one he serves is profound. He’s bonding to you even now. You’ll never find a more loyal or trustworthy employee. And, yes, he may need to adjust to the realities of the world outside a bit, but he’s been trained to cope with the unexpected, and he doesn’t bat an eyelash at magic. I’m sure he’ll work out fine.”
“Look, you said we could break this arrangement anytime, and now you’re telling me he’s a parasite?”
“Symbiote,” the Chamberlain said sternly. “And, yes, you could send him away, though it would tear him apart to be rejected, and I suspect he’d wind up utterly despondent, sleeping under a bridge somewhere. And he’s certainly free to leave your service whenever he chooses; it’s just highly unlikely he would ever so choose.”
“Wonderful. I won’t forget this.”
“It
is
a boon, Marla, not a treacherous gift, I assure you. You’ll see. Pelham will make your life easier in a thousand little ways. You’ll have cause to thank me.”
“Right. I’m sure.” Marla flipped the phone closed and drummed her fingers on the dashboard.
“Hey, Marla,” Rondeau said quietly. “The guy’s back there crying.”
Marla sank lower in her seat. She felt like shit, but she hadn’t asked for this responsibility. Then again, she was no stranger to unwanted responsibility. She took a breath. The world was what it was. “Hey, Pelham. Sorry about all that…parasite business. I was just taken by surprise.”
“You need never apologize to me, Ms. Mason.”
She turned around in her seat again. “Hey. I don’t apologize all that often. Just when I actually make mistakes, which Rondeau can tell you is pretty much never.”
“To hear her tell it anyway,” Rondeau said.
“If you’re going to work for me, you can’t be afraid to speak up. I’m not saying I won’t smack you down occasionally, but don’t let that discourage you. I realize there’s a lot of stuff you don’t know. But you can learn. And there’s plenty of stuff you do know that
I
need to learn. Like how to throw a party for a hundred or so of Felport’s best and brightest and meanest and most dangerous. Think you can help me do that?”
“Of course,” Pelham said. “I
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