think you’ll dazzle us!”
I stared back. Was it possible to be recklessly speechless? Oh, he made a joke – I should laugh.
“I think you could say he’s a little overwhelmed,” said Rhonda, kicking my ankle hard.
Rhonda’s sudden assault took me by surprise. It must have looked like I’d just tried to dive onto the floor.
“Er, thanks,” I managed to cough, while rubbing my ankle. “That’s… really…”
Disbelief, gratitude, awe and sheer blind panic flooded through me.
“Well done, Miles,” said Jo-Anne, strolling over and smiling down at me. “I’ll be finishing pre-production this week and we can start shooting in a month. We’ve really taken it to the thirteenth hour trying to find our Nuriel: I’m glad we got there at last! I’ll messenger over a copy of the final script this evening.”
“Subject to his signing the contract, of course,” said my own personal Rottweiler.
“Naturally,” replied Hyde, and they all gave this fake laugh. “We’ll have the paperwork emailed to your assistant, Rhonda. I’m sure it’ll all be in order, as discussed. And, ahem…” he glanced at me, “…and the other… details we discussed?”
I felt like I’d entered an alternate reality: they’d made their acquisition and I was just dancing to their tune. I wasn’t entirely sure which of them was pulling the strings – the one with the most money. So that would be Hyde then.
Rhonda nodded. We all shook hands, and then she hauled me out of the office before I could speak, which was probably her plan.
As soon as we were alone, she dragged me up the corridor and into the first empty room she could find: the men’s room. The urinals were the clue.
“What the fuck are you playing at, Miles? Are you deliberately trying to blow this deal?”
I took a wild stab and guessed she was mad at me. I had no fucking idea why .
“No!”
“Well, you goddamn sound like it! Have you no concept of how to ass-lick?”
Her words, intense expression, delayed shock and the fact we were standing in the men’s bogs suddenly tipped me over the edge. And I couldn’t help keeling over with laughter.
Rhonda’s face turned purple and I thought she might actually hit me, but a reluctant smile oozed across her face.
“Jeez, Miles. You’re one crazy fucker, you know that, right?”
“It’s been mentioned,” I coughed, trying to pull myself together. “Sorry, Rhonda, but you might have warned me. I mean, it’s fucking fantastic news.”
“Yes, it is, my friend. Now let’s get out of the john before we start off an interesting line of gossip. Come.”
“Where are we going?”
“My office: you’ve got a contract to sign.”
We were sitting in Rhonda’s swanky-danky office and all the blood left my face.
How much?
I couldn’t believe the figure that she was showing me, even though it was there in triplicate.
“One… one million dollars?”
I counted the number of zeroes again.
“You okay, Miles? You look kinda pale?” Rhonda sounded concerned.
“Fuck me!”
I realized I’d spoken out loud. “That’s… that’s a lot of money.”
Rhonda nodded. “Serious shit now, Miles. The big time. Of course,” her voice was ironic, “you won’t get anything like that amount.”
Oh?
“Well, you gotta pay your tax, baby. That’ll knock off $350,000. Then there’s my 15 per cent, plus something for Melody. The US and UK have a double taxation treaty so you won’t own tax on your income twice.”
I had no idea what she was talking about .
“Well, the small print, Miles, is that you’ll take home about $450,000 – or about £290,000.”
That was one shed load of money. I gaped at her. My jaw was on the fucking floor.
“Still with me?”
I shook my head. Nope. I was in cloud cuckoo land. I was so far off the planet I could see the rings of Saturn.
She told me to read the contract first, but my head was spinning and the words spilled across the page in an unrecognizable vomit of
Penny McCall
Kirstine; Stewart
Elizabeth York
Tracie Peterson
Catherine Coulter
Gail Anderson-Dargatz
Emma Trevayne
Lindsay McKenna
Arthur Hailey
Archibald Gracie