Read Online Dark Space by Stephen A. Fender - Free Book Online Page B

it surprised him. “Without a doubt.”
       Ramos chewed the statement
over in his mind. “Admirable.”
       “There isn’t a day that
goes by that I don’t wonder what the hell I’m doing here. I think ‘foolhardy’
would be a better term.”
       “You’re an interesting
dichotomy, Commander. On the one hand you know what you have to do, and you’re
convinced you can do it, and on the other you’re trying to justify your place
in all this.”
       “One thing you’ll find out
about me is that my brain can be a bag of nuts and bolts about things like
this; you shake it up enough and something’s bound to thread together.”
       “And the rest?” Ramos
asked, looking at Shawn thoughtfully. “What happens when it doesn’t come
together? Or, more aptly, what happens when it falls apart in the cockpit?”
       Shawn tilted his head
slightly at the captain without looking at him. “You’ve got wings on your chest
the same as me. You should know.”
       Ramos nodded. “Yeah. I
think we’ve all been there.” He then hooked a thumb over his shoulder, but
still out of sight of the crewmen behind him. “But some of the people … most of
them, I think … have no idea. That’s why you are where you are, Shawn. Those
pilots down there in berthing, and the ones out in space right now on patrol … they
need your help, whether they know it or not. You’re no good to them dead.”
       “Still trying to justify
landlocking me behind a desk?”
       “No. I wouldn’t do that.
Speaking as a former pilot—and a friend—I know how much this is upsetting you.
It’s a bum deal, I know it.”
       Shawn gave him a confused
look. “And here I thought you were the one telling me earlier this is a great
career move for me.”
       Ramos looked at him sternly.
“It is, Shawn. But don’t think for a minute I’m being pragmatic about the whole
thing. If an officer transitions into the CAG position smoothly, normally, it’s
because it’s the best thing for his career. If he’s forced into doing it, it’s
because it’s the best thing for the fleet.”
       “You saying that you took
the job kicking and screaming?”
       Ramos chuckled lightly.
“That would have been difficult, all things considered.”
       Shawn turned to the captain.
“What do you mean?”
       Ramos looked over his shoulder,
and noticing the no one was watching, turned back and locked eyes with Shawn.
He then nodded down toward the deck where his hand was now patting his left
thigh.
       Shawn glanced down, eyeing
the gesture, then turned his gaze back into the captain’s.
       “I lost most of it at
Epsilon Tiranan,” Ramos nearly whispered. 
       Shawn’s expression turned
serious. “What happened?”
       Ramos shrugged almost
imperceptibly. “Surprise attack while I was out on patrol. My fighter took a
direct hit; the cockpit depressurized. Luckily I was near the carrier and was
able to make an emergency landing.” He then smiled playfully. “Unfortunately,
not all of me was so blessed. The shrapnel from an exploding console all
but severed it above the knee. The doctors were able to repair almost all the
major arterial damage, but I lost most of the leg in the process. Got this damn
twitchy biotronic prosthetic now. Of course, I was dropped from flying status
after the surgery. Been landlocked, as you so eloquently put it, ever since.”
       “Damn shame,” Shawn
muttered apologetically. “I heard about the battle, but I hadn’t met anyone who
made it out of it.”
       Ramos’s eyes became
distant, forlorn. “Not many did. Anyway, like I said, you’ll get used to the
new job … and you may even come to like it. I did … after a while.”
       “I can see why you might
have some reservations about the Kafarans. After what they did to you—”
       Ramos sighed and shook his
head. “I did it to myself, Shawn. I made a bad call, and tried to attack when I
should have evaded. It was a