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punished me for owning my desires. This was a no-win situation. Exactly what Nate wanted.
    “He should have seen what was going on,” Nathan hissed. “I would have. You and I would have dealt with the situation very, very differently.”
    I knew he was right in a way. I could see it in my head. Byron had called me a cunt. Nate would have made it impossible for me to sit down for weeks. But there was a false quality to the equation. I’d never have cheated on Nate.
    There were clips in his hand now and I sucked in my breath as he placed them, one by one, on my nether lips. The pain was instantaneous—it was all I could think of. He continued to speak to me, but I barely heard a word.
    “Roll back over onto your stomach now.”
    Until he said that.
    “And keep your hips up for me.” I lifted immediately.
    “I’m going to undo your wrists,” he said, “and you’re going to spread your cheeks wide open for me.”
    I lowered my head, feeling a fresh wave of fear like ice water down my neck.
    “You know where I’m going,” he continued. “Don’t make things harder on yourself by pretending you don’t.”
    He undid the cuffs, and I obeyed his command, reaching back and spreading my rear cheeks, feeling him watching, looking at me. Feeling more exposed than I ever had in my life. I wished for the blindfold once more, but Nate was too smart for that. He gripped a fistful of my long hair and pulled, making me look back over my shoulder at him.
    “Now, beg me.”
    I could have laughed. I heard it in my head, a bitter sound. Each time I survived one test, there was another waiting for me to pass.
    “Do I need to get the cane again, baby?” His voice was resigned. I was doing this to him. I was giving him no choices.
    “No, Nate.”
    “Then do what I say. I won’t warn you a second time.”
    “Please, Nate,” I whispered. “Please fuck me.”
    “Get the cane,” he said to Garrett.
    Oh, god. No—
    “Please,” I said louder. “Fuck my ass, Nate.”
    “This ass?” he slapped me.
    “Yes,” I stuttered. “Yes, please—”
    “Why should I?” He slapped me again.
    Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.
    “Because I need it.”
    “Why, Sam?”
    Images flickered through my head, disappearingquickly, like smoke.
    This wasn’t therapy. I couldn’t explain. I could never explain. I could only beg. But I’m good at begging. I was in total supplication to him, my fingers slippery on the cheeks of my ass, offering myself to him.
    “Please, Nate.” I felt as if I’d never stop crying. “Just please—”
    I hoped it would be good enough. It had to be good enough.
    “We’ll get there,” he told me, his voice low, and I thought of that night he’d whispered that he’d eaten the girl’s soul. Was he after mine? “Don’t worry, baby. We’ll get there.”
    And then I felt the wetness of spit on his fingers and the first thrust of his cock in my ass, and I knew Garrett was close by watching, and I knew Nate wasn’t finished with me by far. But I shut my eyes once more, and as I found myself coming, I felt him unclipping the clamps one by one and letting them drop to the mattress.
    “Good girl,” he said softly afterward, touching my damp cheek, rubbing the marks on my wrists. “You’re a good girl, Sam.” His black eyes flashed. “You made me proud tonight.”
    Garrett was gone now, back to his own room.
    It was just the two of us.
    I looked at him, locked on his eyes, understanding full well that we both knew he was lying.



Chapter Ten:
Black and Blue
    Black dress, black fishnets, black go-go boots. My hair up in a high ponytail. A velvet choker tight around my neck. I stood in the bathroom and checked out my appearance as if seeing myself for the first time. The salon was in the heart of Beverly Hills. I’d be dealing with beautiful people all day long, and I wanted to do my best to blend.
    “You know, it ought to be a collar,” Nate said, coming up behind me and putting one strong hand on my