this place as home will turn out to be the day I have to find an apartment of my own. Probably a good thing anyway, I can’t imagine they ’d want me here for too much longer.
“I haven’t decided anything yet,” I tell him. “And even then, I’m not going to bail on you. Things are just starting to turn around at the bar, it’d be pretty shitty of me to leave you hanging after everything you’ve done for me.”
“Colby, you need to think about what’s best for you.” He hands me a beer and places one hand on my shoulder. “I respect what you’re saying, but you’re not going to have time if Pete’s serious about the timetable he has planned out.”
“Oh, yeah. I suppose you’re right.” I drop back into one of the wooden Adirondack chairs a bit harder than intended and wince at the sharp pain traveling up my spine. How is it that I’m the one trying to make a career out of my music, but so far, everyone else has been doing all of the thinking for me? I’m seriously fucked if my head doesn’t start engaging soon. “Well, let’s wait and see what the contract says before I make that decision. For all I know, it’ll be crap and not worth it.”
The stunned look on Aaron’s face mirrors the doubt in my words. A man like Pete Tyler doesn’t write up worthless deals. It has nothing to do with the artist’s ego and everything to do with his time. He is far too busy to blow sunshine up anyone’s ass. Aaron sits in the chair next to me, looking out over the backyard to where Devon is now playing catch with the neighborhood boys.
“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?” he asks without glancing in my direction. From the distant look in his eyes, I wonder if he’s thinking about the fate of my future or the decisions he’s made in his own past. I wonder if there are times when he regrets giving it all up.
The truth is, fuck yes I’m having second thoughts. I walked into that hotel room expecting the enthusiasm Lea has shown every fucking day for the past few months and was met with something a far cry from jubilation. What it was, I have no clue because she won’t talk to me about it. And if she’s not with me, I’m not sure this is a journey I want to take.
Before summer, there wouldn’t have been a single doubt in my mind, but the day Lea agreed to be with me was a turning point in my life. It was the day I was handed everything I wanted and needed in my life. Her love. Her faith in me. Her strength to push me to be better, no matter how much i t killed her to watch me walk away. And her faith that she wasn’t saying goodbye to me forever when I stepped onto that bus. The closer I get to achieving my dreams, the more I wonder if I’m being naïve and idealistic to think that I’ll be able to keep Lea happy as I work my way up the ladder in the music industry. Seeing her less than enthusiastic reaction when I got through with my meeting makes me think the day will come when I’m forced to make a choice.
“How do you know that it’s worth the risk?” I ask in response. If anyone knows what I have on the line right now, it’s Aaron. “Do you ever wish you hadn’t given up on your music? Is it worth never singing again if it means having the woman you love in bed with you at night?”
“Apples and oranges, boy. There’s no comparing anything about where I was to where you are today.” He checks the smoker, messing with the vent before grabbing each of us another beer. “I didn’t have half the potential you do. And there was a hell of a lot more to lose with Rebecca than there is with Lea.”
“So you don’t think Lea’s worth giving it all up for?” I’m pissed at his assumption because that woman means everything to me. She has one of the purest hearts I know, she’s smart as hell and makes me laugh. And that’s just the start of the long list of things I love about her.
“Didn’t say that. What I mean with that is I had to decide between a music career
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