Read Online CUL-DE-SAC (On The Edge Book 1) by M.E. YILDIRIM - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: M.E. YILDIRIM
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please get my camera back now?” Cat forced herself to look at him
searching his green eyes for something she couldn’t even name.
She tried to breathe in and out but the
roar in her head was intensifying along with a widening of a crack in her heart
until she started to feel dizzy.
Paradoxically the thought about losing it
in the middle of the café, not to mention the pitiless man sitting in front of
her, helped her to get a firmer grip on her emotions no matter how shaky her
wavering control was.
She deeply regretted coming here today.
More, she regretted ever taking on the
offer and meeting him in the first place. Neither the chill of excitement nor
the fat check was worth the loss of the only memento she had left of her
father.
How stupid she was for wanting to come in
here today, to reassure him about the pictures while he was planning all along
to… what exactly? She asked herself swallowing the bile rising in her throat.
Prove to her he had no respect for other people’s
belongings?
Humiliate her?
She shook her head slightly because in the
end it didn’t matter one way or another.
She wondered when she was going to learn
that fair meant nothing in today’s world because everything always came to
money and power. Strength was power, quite literally in this case, she thought.
He held her gaze for a moment and she
thought she saw a glint of remorse in his eyes. Even if he regretted it now he
surely didn’t before, she decided. Her bottom lip desperately wanted to tremble
but she bit down hard on it and the instant pain that answered was sobering.
She schooled her expression, determined not
to show any more weakness in front of the man who apparently had none. She
managed to curve her lips into an indistinct smile when he finally let go of
her hand.
“Have a nice life.” She told him while cradling the camera protectively in her
hands even though it was too late for that.
She turned away leaving him there with the
damn pictures splayed all over the table hoping she would never see him again.
Xan gazed at the exit even long after she
was gone. He avoided dealing with other people’s emotions since he was not
adept at handling his own. Now he was bombarded by them and one was more
disturbing than another.
Catalina was seemingly cool and undisturbed
like an ice sculpture and she was pretty good at keeping the pretenses, he
would give her that. But his entire life depended on reading others and he usually
saw more than he let on.
He was still unsure what her motive was for
showing up today and facing him the way she did, because he didn’t buy the
whole wanting to reassure him thing.
Nobody could be as selfless and
good-natured as that. Even though it was perfectly obvious they were nothing
alike and as different as two people could get, they were still living in the
same world and its rules were brutal.
If she truly were that naive, she shouldn’t
be allowed to cross streets on her own, he thought trying to cover up the
uncomfortable pang of guilt with irreverence but it didn’t do the work. Not
fully anyway, and he hesitated for a moment catching himself on the verge of
running out after her.
Now that would be truly idiotic, he
decided and topped off his glass of water instead.
What could he tell her at this point, that
he was sorry?
It was too late for that anyway and wouldn’t
change the outcome. He knew firsthand how useless words were, how powerless when
put together with blame. How inadequate, just like he wasn’t adequate to fix
it.
He should have been satisfied, Xan
considered, since he achieved his plan and sent the woman home crying.
But instead of boasting his win, he felt
like he had been the one knocked-out flat on his ass.
CHAPTER 7
Catalina needed a friend, someone who could
understand her loss and would be there to listen to her unbidden words because
she didn’t think she could patiently describe the whole situation. Even though
she knew that it was unlikely for
searching his green eyes for something she couldn’t even name.
She tried to breathe in and out but the
roar in her head was intensifying along with a widening of a crack in her heart
until she started to feel dizzy.
Paradoxically the thought about losing it
in the middle of the café, not to mention the pitiless man sitting in front of
her, helped her to get a firmer grip on her emotions no matter how shaky her
wavering control was.
She deeply regretted coming here today.
More, she regretted ever taking on the
offer and meeting him in the first place. Neither the chill of excitement nor
the fat check was worth the loss of the only memento she had left of her
father.
How stupid she was for wanting to come in
here today, to reassure him about the pictures while he was planning all along
to… what exactly? She asked herself swallowing the bile rising in her throat.
Prove to her he had no respect for other people’s
belongings?
Humiliate her?
She shook her head slightly because in the
end it didn’t matter one way or another.
She wondered when she was going to learn
that fair meant nothing in today’s world because everything always came to
money and power. Strength was power, quite literally in this case, she thought.
He held her gaze for a moment and she
thought she saw a glint of remorse in his eyes. Even if he regretted it now he
surely didn’t before, she decided. Her bottom lip desperately wanted to tremble
but she bit down hard on it and the instant pain that answered was sobering.
She schooled her expression, determined not
to show any more weakness in front of the man who apparently had none. She
managed to curve her lips into an indistinct smile when he finally let go of
her hand.
“Have a nice life.” She told him while cradling the camera protectively in her
hands even though it was too late for that.
She turned away leaving him there with the
damn pictures splayed all over the table hoping she would never see him again.
Xan gazed at the exit even long after she
was gone. He avoided dealing with other people’s emotions since he was not
adept at handling his own. Now he was bombarded by them and one was more
disturbing than another.
Catalina was seemingly cool and undisturbed
like an ice sculpture and she was pretty good at keeping the pretenses, he
would give her that. But his entire life depended on reading others and he usually
saw more than he let on.
He was still unsure what her motive was for
showing up today and facing him the way she did, because he didn’t buy the
whole wanting to reassure him thing.
Nobody could be as selfless and
good-natured as that. Even though it was perfectly obvious they were nothing
alike and as different as two people could get, they were still living in the
same world and its rules were brutal.
If she truly were that naive, she shouldn’t
be allowed to cross streets on her own, he thought trying to cover up the
uncomfortable pang of guilt with irreverence but it didn’t do the work. Not
fully anyway, and he hesitated for a moment catching himself on the verge of
running out after her.
Now that would be truly idiotic, he
decided and topped off his glass of water instead.
What could he tell her at this point, that
he was sorry?
It was too late for that anyway and wouldn’t
change the outcome. He knew firsthand how useless words were, how powerless when
put together with blame. How inadequate, just like he wasn’t adequate to fix
it.
He should have been satisfied, Xan
considered, since he achieved his plan and sent the woman home crying.
But instead of boasting his win, he felt
like he had been the one knocked-out flat on his ass.
CHAPTER 7
Catalina needed a friend, someone who could
understand her loss and would be there to listen to her unbidden words because
she didn’t think she could patiently describe the whole situation. Even though
she knew that it was unlikely for
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