and discussing it with my parents? But then she said it’s up to me to make that decision because only I know what’s best for me. Isn’t that ridiculous?”
“She’s right. Only you can make that decision.”
I rub my forehead. “Why can’t someone just tell me what to do? What the best decision is for me? I’m only sixteen!”
“We’re all going through this, Lex. And things will get even more intense nex t year when we apply to college.”
I know others are going through crap, too. But that doesn’t make this any easier. I can’t stand this stress. Maybe it’s time I look for a psychic, let her lay her cards on the table and tell me what’s in my future.
I just want someone on my side. Someone who would understand me and not tell me to stick with dance because I have “so much talent” and “such a bright future.”
“You already know what I think, Lex, so I won’t repeat it, but I agree with Ms. Carter that only you can make that decision. Think long and hard, do your research, see if you really want to go to med school. Go to dance practice and meets and see i f your heart’s into it.”
Which brings me back to square one yet again. “You know what she said?” I roll my eyes. “She asked me if I wanted to start seeing her again.”
Ms. Carter was really helpful last year when I went to see her once a week. Warm and caring, like she really wanted to help me. But to see her again? Like I’m still the same screwed up girl I once was?
“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea,” Dani says. “And I’m not talking about the accident and Rosie and your parents. I’m talking about all that other stuff going on. Like your feelings for Rey and Cruiser.”
I gape at her. Is she serious? “Tell me you’re kidding.”
She shrugs.
“You want me to tell the school guidance counselor something so personal? About students who go to our school?”
She tightens her arms over her chest. “Maybe you need to talk to someone about it.”
“Look, I don’t need to talk to some stranger about my love life. I have my best friend right here.” I wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her close. “And she’s the best friend anyone can ask for.”
Dani mumbles, “Whatever” under her breath.
“Hey, ever heard of practice what you preach?” I say. “When was the last time you spoke to anyone about what you went through last summer with Jimmy the Jackass? I’m guessing never.”
Dani throws my arm off her shoulder, her eyes flashing with fury and pain, and she opens her mouth to say something. But her eyes dart down the hall. “Your boyfriend is headed this way.” And she marches to Spanish.
“Hey!” Rey closes his hands over my eyes. “Guess who?”
Things have been looking up for us these past few days, ever since Rey’s recital. I’m so relieved.
I laugh and pull his hands off my eyes. “Nice try. Dani gave me the heads up.”
He laughs too, then rests his right shoulder against the lockers, facing me. “Where were you during lunch break? I was looking all over for you.”
I swallow. For just the shortest second, my discussion with Ms. Carter fled away with Dani. Now it’s back, and at full force. My shoulders sag a little. “I had to take care of something.”
“Everything okay?”
Why does everyone ask me that? “Yeah, sure.” I force a smile onto my face.
“Cool. Hey, guess what?”
The smile is still forced. “What?”
“I caught a fish for you.”
I softly punch his shoulder. “You know I don’t like fish.” I rake my hands through his hair—well, it’s more like a brush because he doesn’t have much hair. I wish I could kiss him right now to get rid of this doomed feeling, but we’re standing right in the middle of the hallway.
“I know.” He smiles and fingers my bottom lip. “But you’d love the fish if I cook it. I’ve been tackling the stove for a while now. It’s pretty cool. I know how to fillet a fish, sauté some veal, puree a butter
“She’s right. Only you can make that decision.”
I rub my forehead. “Why can’t someone just tell me what to do? What the best decision is for me? I’m only sixteen!”
“We’re all going through this, Lex. And things will get even more intense nex t year when we apply to college.”
I know others are going through crap, too. But that doesn’t make this any easier. I can’t stand this stress. Maybe it’s time I look for a psychic, let her lay her cards on the table and tell me what’s in my future.
I just want someone on my side. Someone who would understand me and not tell me to stick with dance because I have “so much talent” and “such a bright future.”
“You already know what I think, Lex, so I won’t repeat it, but I agree with Ms. Carter that only you can make that decision. Think long and hard, do your research, see if you really want to go to med school. Go to dance practice and meets and see i f your heart’s into it.”
Which brings me back to square one yet again. “You know what she said?” I roll my eyes. “She asked me if I wanted to start seeing her again.”
Ms. Carter was really helpful last year when I went to see her once a week. Warm and caring, like she really wanted to help me. But to see her again? Like I’m still the same screwed up girl I once was?
“Maybe that’s not such a bad idea,” Dani says. “And I’m not talking about the accident and Rosie and your parents. I’m talking about all that other stuff going on. Like your feelings for Rey and Cruiser.”
I gape at her. Is she serious? “Tell me you’re kidding.”
She shrugs.
“You want me to tell the school guidance counselor something so personal? About students who go to our school?”
She tightens her arms over her chest. “Maybe you need to talk to someone about it.”
“Look, I don’t need to talk to some stranger about my love life. I have my best friend right here.” I wrap an arm around her shoulder and pull her close. “And she’s the best friend anyone can ask for.”
Dani mumbles, “Whatever” under her breath.
“Hey, ever heard of practice what you preach?” I say. “When was the last time you spoke to anyone about what you went through last summer with Jimmy the Jackass? I’m guessing never.”
Dani throws my arm off her shoulder, her eyes flashing with fury and pain, and she opens her mouth to say something. But her eyes dart down the hall. “Your boyfriend is headed this way.” And she marches to Spanish.
“Hey!” Rey closes his hands over my eyes. “Guess who?”
Things have been looking up for us these past few days, ever since Rey’s recital. I’m so relieved.
I laugh and pull his hands off my eyes. “Nice try. Dani gave me the heads up.”
He laughs too, then rests his right shoulder against the lockers, facing me. “Where were you during lunch break? I was looking all over for you.”
I swallow. For just the shortest second, my discussion with Ms. Carter fled away with Dani. Now it’s back, and at full force. My shoulders sag a little. “I had to take care of something.”
“Everything okay?”
Why does everyone ask me that? “Yeah, sure.” I force a smile onto my face.
“Cool. Hey, guess what?”
The smile is still forced. “What?”
“I caught a fish for you.”
I softly punch his shoulder. “You know I don’t like fish.” I rake my hands through his hair—well, it’s more like a brush because he doesn’t have much hair. I wish I could kiss him right now to get rid of this doomed feeling, but we’re standing right in the middle of the hallway.
“I know.” He smiles and fingers my bottom lip. “But you’d love the fish if I cook it. I’ve been tackling the stove for a while now. It’s pretty cool. I know how to fillet a fish, sauté some veal, puree a butter
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