Read Online Crowning the Slug Queen (A Callie Stone Mystery Book 1) by L.M. Fortin - Free Book Online
Authors: L.M. Fortin
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Creepalot in keeping with the theme of the pageant.
Callie decided that in order to keep all these people straight, she would think of them by the gender of the character they chose, when they were in character. If she didn't, she'd call the he's she's and the she's he's at some inopportune moment. It would just be easier this way, she thought.
In her full length photo, Gastronia was about six inches taller than Steven and Callie could see that was due to the dark green claw toed hip boots she wore. The boots were topped by a black leather mini skirt that had been decorated with swirling lines of green and gold glitter. Callie could only imagine this was in imitation of the slimy trails slugs left on the ground. Gastronia wore full length dark green leather gloves ending in steel fingernails that resembled the claws on the boots.
“So where would you go to buy a matching set of clawed boots and gloves?” asked Callie, somewhat rhetorically.
“Oh, you can get those downtown in one of the shops that sell Goth clothes.”
Callie nodded. You could get Goth in Skinner, but haute couture was unavailable.
Above the skirt Gastronia wore what had to be a custom designed blouse. The dark green satin fabric with swirls of gold glitter hung loose on Gastronia's frame, except for where a two pieces of black fabric extending from shoulder to waist were crossed in the front in a large x shape. The bunching of the fabric gave the impression of two large breasts, making sure she looked womanly and not, well, Stevenly, thought Callie. The blouse was slashed open at the shoulders and her somewhat muscular arms were showing.
From the venomous green lipstick to the long green eyelashes, Gastronia's make-up definitely changed her to someone unrecognizable as Steven Felson. Her eyes were thickly rimmed with kohl and several of the eyelashes had crystals attached to them. “I wonder how she blinks without doing herself an injury,” said Polly. Gastronia’s eyes and lips were emphasized because of the solid white basecoat which covered the rest of her face. Callie wondered how long it took her to apply all this make up especially as she was really a he and most likely not accustomed to putting on a face for the day.
There was a standard section of name, address, and the like, and then there were a few essay questions. The first question asked why the applicant wanted to be a slug queen.
Conscious that she was keeping Polly waiting, Callie skimmed over the answer. Gastronia seemed to ramble on a lot as there were mentions of Skinner's great history of slug queens and her desire to continue to lead the city to greatness. “How serious do people take this?” asked Callie. “You’d think Steven wanted to run for mayor.”
“I think that’s just part of the schtick,” said Polly. “Steven’s seen this pageant before and he knows the more over the top you are, the more likely you are to win.”
Callie nodded but thought to herself that maybe Steven wasn't satisfied to be a secondhand spouse after all.
Callie turned to the second packet in the group. Sheldon Normal, former owner of The Hemp Pot Smoke Shop was entering as Slimerita Rivera.
“That’s Sheldon. He used to own a smoke shop until they caught him with weed on the premises. He spent a month in jail and now owes about 200 hours of community service,” said Polly.
“Does the slug queen pageant count for that?” asked Callie.
“It does if he wins. The winning queen spends the next year visiting hospitals and school classrooms as well as doing all sorts of events for the city. It would be a pretty creative way to work off your community service.”
While this sort of reasoning might not appeal to a more conservative community, Callie thought not only would the Skinnertons' get a laugh out of it, they would actively encourage someone thumbing their noses at the authorities by doing their service as a beauty queen. Especially if the case had
Callie decided that in order to keep all these people straight, she would think of them by the gender of the character they chose, when they were in character. If she didn't, she'd call the he's she's and the she's he's at some inopportune moment. It would just be easier this way, she thought.
In her full length photo, Gastronia was about six inches taller than Steven and Callie could see that was due to the dark green claw toed hip boots she wore. The boots were topped by a black leather mini skirt that had been decorated with swirling lines of green and gold glitter. Callie could only imagine this was in imitation of the slimy trails slugs left on the ground. Gastronia wore full length dark green leather gloves ending in steel fingernails that resembled the claws on the boots.
“So where would you go to buy a matching set of clawed boots and gloves?” asked Callie, somewhat rhetorically.
“Oh, you can get those downtown in one of the shops that sell Goth clothes.”
Callie nodded. You could get Goth in Skinner, but haute couture was unavailable.
Above the skirt Gastronia wore what had to be a custom designed blouse. The dark green satin fabric with swirls of gold glitter hung loose on Gastronia's frame, except for where a two pieces of black fabric extending from shoulder to waist were crossed in the front in a large x shape. The bunching of the fabric gave the impression of two large breasts, making sure she looked womanly and not, well, Stevenly, thought Callie. The blouse was slashed open at the shoulders and her somewhat muscular arms were showing.
From the venomous green lipstick to the long green eyelashes, Gastronia's make-up definitely changed her to someone unrecognizable as Steven Felson. Her eyes were thickly rimmed with kohl and several of the eyelashes had crystals attached to them. “I wonder how she blinks without doing herself an injury,” said Polly. Gastronia’s eyes and lips were emphasized because of the solid white basecoat which covered the rest of her face. Callie wondered how long it took her to apply all this make up especially as she was really a he and most likely not accustomed to putting on a face for the day.
There was a standard section of name, address, and the like, and then there were a few essay questions. The first question asked why the applicant wanted to be a slug queen.
Conscious that she was keeping Polly waiting, Callie skimmed over the answer. Gastronia seemed to ramble on a lot as there were mentions of Skinner's great history of slug queens and her desire to continue to lead the city to greatness. “How serious do people take this?” asked Callie. “You’d think Steven wanted to run for mayor.”
“I think that’s just part of the schtick,” said Polly. “Steven’s seen this pageant before and he knows the more over the top you are, the more likely you are to win.”
Callie nodded but thought to herself that maybe Steven wasn't satisfied to be a secondhand spouse after all.
Callie turned to the second packet in the group. Sheldon Normal, former owner of The Hemp Pot Smoke Shop was entering as Slimerita Rivera.
“That’s Sheldon. He used to own a smoke shop until they caught him with weed on the premises. He spent a month in jail and now owes about 200 hours of community service,” said Polly.
“Does the slug queen pageant count for that?” asked Callie.
“It does if he wins. The winning queen spends the next year visiting hospitals and school classrooms as well as doing all sorts of events for the city. It would be a pretty creative way to work off your community service.”
While this sort of reasoning might not appeal to a more conservative community, Callie thought not only would the Skinnertons' get a laugh out of it, they would actively encourage someone thumbing their noses at the authorities by doing their service as a beauty queen. Especially if the case had
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